pinkbluebutch
Member
- Dec 5, 2022
- 48
I'm curious if anyone else has experienced being in a relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) where both of you are severely depressed/suicidal, and what your experience was like.
I've been dating my partner for just over a year now and went into the relationship knowing about their mental health and them knowing about mine, but I've noticed it can become a real struggle for us sometimes. Particularly, when they're having a bad mental health day it becomes hard for me to do anything or feel motivated at all, and I feel both of us beginning to spiral. It presents so many challenges I haven't previously experienced in a relationship where I was the only one who was depressed/suicidal. Part of the issue stems from the fact that they aren't in therapy because they can't afford to find a therapist that will work for them, and most of the struggles they have can only be resolved by speaking with a therapist who is trained to understand the human mind better than I ever could. I try my best but it feels like my responses only serve to mildly improve their mood in the moment, and in a couple of hours they're back in the same bad place and I feel inadequate, which is one of the primary motivators for my suicidal ideation. They've helped me in so many ways (the good definitely outweighs the bad) but it's hard not to feel stuck sometimes because it feels like we'll never be able to move past these depressive lows (and I understand that depression is a lifelong mental illness, but there are management strategies that we just seem unable to grasp).
I suppose I just wonder how many other people have similar experiences, and if you've found ways to manage while being sensitive to the other person's feelings while meeting your needs. For instance, we're both university students and I am a severe procrastinator and often find myself comforting them through these moments when I have an assignment I need to get done in a handful of hours, but it feels it would be too cruel to leave them alone so I can finish my schoolwork, causing me to get further behind. At the end of the day maybe the solution would just be to not get so behind on work, but I find it hard to work on things without that deadline creeping upon me.
I've been dating my partner for just over a year now and went into the relationship knowing about their mental health and them knowing about mine, but I've noticed it can become a real struggle for us sometimes. Particularly, when they're having a bad mental health day it becomes hard for me to do anything or feel motivated at all, and I feel both of us beginning to spiral. It presents so many challenges I haven't previously experienced in a relationship where I was the only one who was depressed/suicidal. Part of the issue stems from the fact that they aren't in therapy because they can't afford to find a therapist that will work for them, and most of the struggles they have can only be resolved by speaking with a therapist who is trained to understand the human mind better than I ever could. I try my best but it feels like my responses only serve to mildly improve their mood in the moment, and in a couple of hours they're back in the same bad place and I feel inadequate, which is one of the primary motivators for my suicidal ideation. They've helped me in so many ways (the good definitely outweighs the bad) but it's hard not to feel stuck sometimes because it feels like we'll never be able to move past these depressive lows (and I understand that depression is a lifelong mental illness, but there are management strategies that we just seem unable to grasp).
I suppose I just wonder how many other people have similar experiences, and if you've found ways to manage while being sensitive to the other person's feelings while meeting your needs. For instance, we're both university students and I am a severe procrastinator and often find myself comforting them through these moments when I have an assignment I need to get done in a handful of hours, but it feels it would be too cruel to leave them alone so I can finish my schoolwork, causing me to get further behind. At the end of the day maybe the solution would just be to not get so behind on work, but I find it hard to work on things without that deadline creeping upon me.
