Venting Misery is not Allowed

[AresCohere]

I got told recently that that council running a major organization that I am a part of is looking at removing me from my current leadership position or kicking me out totally due to how I am "too miserable" and "make the tone/mood worse with just my presence". I have been with this group for, to some extend, at least 12 years. I knew for a while that my terrible mental state that off a heavy negative aura, but I didn't know it was that bad.

Generally what I saw before, is people were "happy" around me, but now I see the truth. I, just by existing, bring pain to all those around me. No wonder why my family always tells me to shut up when I speak for the first time in hours. No wonder why they always yell at me whenever I'm around. No wonder why in always the one hiding away almost all day in my room, slowly dying.

Why was I ever given life if it was known I was just going to hurt everyone I met? If anything I deserve to be forced to live, maybe that's why my SI is so strong, it's there to make sure I live through more and more torment, more and make suffering.

So is life, just and endless drag of work, then hiding, then more useless tasks.

 

[noonipie]

that;s so mean of them.. honestly, i think it's okay to be naturally low mood. most of the time i am too and i get told a lot of the same stuff. im here to talk if you want <3

 

[CentreMid]

I'm sorry you're being forced to go through all of that. If anything, it's not your fault that others can't be empathetic or understanding. The way other people are treating you, threatening you to stop being sad and treating you like your thoughts don't matter because you have a naturally low mood, that right there is toxic.