Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
When I woke up I was thinking about how my family or abusive childhood psych gave me PSSD from Citalopram, so even though I never had a happy moment in my life, they one-upped it by making sure I can't feel anything else than pain too. I was never bothered about my PSSD but thinking about it that way makes me sad, I can never have happiness or anything else. PSSD is incurable and enables me to only feel pain, I can never feel anything good.

I couldn't sleep much, I've been poorly and having nightmares.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
  • Love
Reactions: iloveduster, nawee, ToastInTheShell and 21 others
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
Really sorry but what's PSSD?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Suicidebydeath
EvisceratedJester

EvisceratedJester

|| What Else Could I Be But a Jester ||
Oct 21, 2023
3,652
Really sorry but what's PSSD?
Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction

It's where the sexual dysfunction that occurs as a result of taking SSRIs continues after you stop taking them.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ForgottenAgain and Suicidebydeath
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction is a condition in which sexual, cognitive, and emotional side effects don't resolve after stopping antidepressants.

"It feels like we've been lobotomised" - quote from someone else with PSSD

Basically it's a bit like being the living dead, since you can't feel anything, anything good anyway. It explains my anhedonia and so on. I've had it my whole life since before I was an adult. So I never got to experience many things, or feelings.

It's not that different from lobotomy since a significant portion of my brain, the "pleasure centre" I guess, has been permanently disrupted. It's considered incurable, so I'm stuck with this condition until I die.
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: AnonymousL, WhatDoesTheFoxSay?, Praestat_Mori and 7 others
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
That can happen?! Must have been low on the list of the side effects. Sounds like a complete crap show.

The immediate stuff that was classed as urgent (for Sertaline when I was taking it) - nausea, extreme headaches, stomach issues, bleeding, no energy, muscle soreness and pain, bloat, SI thoughts, lower sex drive*, etc.

* that's what was stipulated. Can't believe how bad some of these pills are.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Kasumi, ColorlessTrees, ijustwishtodie and 1 other person
untothedepths

untothedepths

ego death, then death
Mar 20, 2023
593
That's...so horrible. I never knew about that. That's really scary. What the actual hell? You don't deserve that.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ijustwishtodie and Suicidebydeath
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Yes, SSRIs can cause a permanent loss of the ability to feel almost anything related to pleasure, and a lot of emotions can disappear too. Needless to say, but I've never had an orgasm, either. When people touch me, I also barely feel anything.
That's...so horrible. I never knew about that. That's really scary. What the actual hell? You don't deserve that.
Thank you, that's kind.
 
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: WhatDoesTheFoxSay?, Praestat_Mori, ForgottenAgain and 2 others
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
Yes, SSRIs can cause a permanent loss of the ability to feel almost anything related to pleasure, and a lot of emotions can disappear too. Needless to say, but I've never had an orgasm, either. When people touch me, I also barely feel anything.

Thank you, that's kind.
I think having taken SSRIs they are pretty bad. I think they cause too many issues than resolving problems.

Is there anything you can do? Or is it just time has to go by so your body makeup changes (chemically).
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: ijustwishtodie, Suicidebydeath and slightoverlooked
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
I think having taken SSRIs they are pretty bad. I think they cause too many issues than resolving problems.

Is there anything you can do? Or is it just time has to go by so your body makeup changes (chemically).
It's incurable unfortunately, if I live to 80, I will have had this condition for over 60 years. There's no cure known and it's designated as incurable, only treatable by "prevention" specifically, e.g. not getting it. I was abused in childhood, and adulthood, so I have C/PTSD as well.

There are some things and emotions that might be able to get through, but they're heavily muted, so I'll never experience anything the same way as someone without PSSD.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
  • Aww..
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ForgottenAgain, ColorlessTrees and 1 other person
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
Gah fuck. I don't know. Man things are really messed up. Sorry I don't know how to respond.
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ijustwishtodie and Suicidebydeath
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,228
even though I never had a happy moment in my life, they one-upped it by making sure I can't feel anything else than pain too.
I tend to be apathetic when it comes to the things people share on this site related to their struggles but this is genuinely the first time here where something on this site has gave me a deep chill in my spine. This part right here is a brutal realisation and I'm almost speechless at it. I don't have PSSD and even though I don't really have a sex drive anyway, reading what you wrote makes me terrified of PSSD (though I'll admit I already was terrified of PSSD far before I even joined this site).

I'm sorry for what you're going through. Whilst I don't have PSSD, I relate to not having any pleasures (in my case, I never really had pleasures throughout my entire life) and it's absolutely awful. You describe it as it being similar to a lobotomy in post #4 and I think that's an accurate way to describe it. I just hope that you find peace soon
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and Suicidebydeath
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Gah fuck. I don't know. Man things are really messed up. Sorry I don't know how to respond.
It's ok, just as a headsup, Sertraline is the other medication that can cause it. Even though it doesn't explicitly say that in the warnings. I think it only took one or two pills to give me PSSD. I think if it was 100% recognized, then there would be no way they would be able to prescribe SSRI's anymore. Unfortunately PSSD isn't completely understood yet, with about 4-5 explanations as to why it happens.

I think it didn't help this happened to me as a kid. My mom had a tendency to try to sneak pills in my food or force me to take them, she was mentally ill.

Anyway thank you everyone for your kindness and validation. I cried a little.
 
Last edited:
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ColorlessTrees and ijustwishtodie
Throwawayacc3

Throwawayacc3

Freedom
Mar 4, 2024
1,387
It's ok, just as a headsup, Sertraline is the other medication that can cause it. Even though it doesn't explicitly say that in the warnings. I think it only took one or two pills to give me PSSD. I think if it was 100% recognized, then there would be no way they would be able to prescribe SSRI's anymore. Unfortunately PSSD isn't completely understood yet, with about 4-5 explanations as to why it happens.

I think it didn't help this happened to me as a kid. My mom had a tendency to try to sneak pills in my food or force me to take them, she was mentally ill.
I only took it for 6 months (3 months to reduce it to 0). I had the side effects as I listed above but not what you described. Depression doesn't count as you don't want to do anything sex, eat, sleep, etc.
The headaches (frontal region of brain slightly to the right) and the stomach aches were the worst. That's what did it for me. Oh and becoming a zombie (no, not a crimson head)
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: Praestat_Mori and Suicidebydeath
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
I'm glad you didn't develop PSSD.

Thank you everyone.
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori, ColorlessTrees, sserafim and 1 other person
sserafim

sserafim

brighter than the sun, that’s just me
Sep 13, 2023
9,013
Post-SSRI Sexual Dysfunction is a condition in which sexual, cognitive, and emotional side effects don't resolve after stopping antidepressants.

"It feels like we've been lobotomised" - quote from someone else with PSSD

Basically it's a bit like being the living dead, since you can't feel anything, anything good anyway. It explains my anhedonia and so on. I've had it my whole life since before I was an adult. So I never got to experience many things, or feelings.

It's not that different from lobotomy since a significant portion of my brain, the "pleasure centre" I guess, has been permanently disrupted. It's considered incurable, so I'm stuck with this condition until I die.
Does this happen with other meds too? Like Buspar? I took it for anxiety but then switched to another med (propranolol), then stopped taking them altogether
 
Last edited:
  • Informative
Reactions: Suicidebydeath
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
Does this happen with other meds too? Like Buspar? I took it for anxiety but then switched to another med, then stopped taking them altogether
I don't know, I did a little googling and asked ChatGPT what it knew.

What I found, I can't say for sure whether it can cause PSSD but it has been used as a possible cure. I did find a reddit post saying that it temporarily cured someone's PSSD and then they relapsed and it became much worse.



His symptoms about not being able to get high anymore, when his PSSD was at its worst on Busperidone, relate to what my regular PSSD symptoms are. It's impossible for me to get high.

***

I found this on a reddit post, I reformatted it since it had a space between every sentence:

"I agree with the entirety of my being.
We must always take the high road.
I blame the inadequacies of the systems that we all operate in, before I blame individuals.
Though I do believe there are culpable individuals if what Dr. Healy says is true.
He describes big pharma willfully ignoring results from pre-approval trials, that showed 50 percent of healthy volunteers complained of sexual dysfunction.
FDA approval trials showed 5 percent of people people suffered from this effect, because the doctors running the trials were told by pharma not to ask about sex.
This is complicity in our suffering."

So presumably, all along doctors have known about the possible outcomes of SSRI's but were told not to raise the alarm. It's sad, I think it would've happened to me no matter what, but maybe for other people this suffering could've been prevented.

In my experience SSRI's don't do anything helpful anyway, and they have a lot of bad side-effects beside the chance of PSSD. Honestly, it just seems like one big, sadistic torture experiment pushed onto the masses unbeknownst.
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Myexit, WhatDoesTheFoxSay?, Praestat_Mori and 4 others
wildflowers1996

wildflowers1996

Mage
Oct 14, 2023
555
I'm so sorry you're experiencing this :( anhedonia is horrible... I know you think it can't ever go away but I really hope somehow it does :(
 
  • Like
Reactions: Praestat_Mori
A

amra81nz

Member
Mar 22, 2024
75
I suffer the same thing. Was put on ssri when i was 13. By 17 I needed viagra to have sex even tho it never really felt good. Now at 42 even viagra doesn't really help at all. I gave up trying to even find a partner because of it.
 
  • Aww..
  • Hugs
Reactions: bobcat01, Praestat_Mori and ForgottenAgain
ForgottenAgain

ForgottenAgain

On the rollercoaster of sadness
Oct 17, 2023
996
I didn't know about PSSD, this is horrible and makes me fear for my case as I'm on 200mg of Sertraline and have been for several months. I decided to stop because my libido is gone so now I've been gradually stopping and slowly improving but it's scary that this can be incurable.
I don't remember if low libido was in the common symptoms of Sertraline, I don't think it was and this is not the first time I've seen someone complain about low libido. This is the first time I've seen it escalate so much to being incurable....

I'm so sorry you're going through this...it's so unfair and really makes me mad at big pharma. These meds are supposed to help fragile people, not supposed to give them life long illnesses that will make them even more miserable.

I really hope they develop something to cure PSSD...that can't be the end, it's too heartbreaking...it's like being castrated 😥
 
P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,566
I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's so horrible when psych meds destroy a life and make it even worse. I hope you can find peace somehow.
 
A

amra81nz

Member
Mar 22, 2024
75
As far as I'm aware mirtazapine is the only one that I've heard doesn't cause it and can actually have a viagra like effect although alot weaker
 
Kasumi

Kasumi

tired
Mar 3, 2023
495
Man that just sucks, fuck those people.
I hate how easy it is for other people to ruin someone's live like that, it's especially irresponsible coming from a prescription medication.

I also took SSRI's and SNRI's before and I was never told about those risks by anyone and I always had the perception that those are the saver meds compared to TCA's and MAOI's.
Makes me reconsider if I really wanna try out more antidepressants or if I should just say fuck it I'm not taking more risks with those meds.
Not that any of them helped anything anyway, but at least my side effects were tame and only about physical things, headaches, nausea, insomnia and stuff but they never impaired my feelings or cognitive functions.

Not that I never really felt happy in life either, but at least I know that that's normal since there just isn't anything in my life to feel happy about.
And that doesn't mean that I can't if something good were to happen, and aside that I can perfectly feel my emotions and my thoughts are relatively clear, which is something I'm grateful for, cause it's my identity, if I wouldn't be able to feel myself I would have no desire to keep on living at all anymore.
 
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559

Damn, this guy who killed himself at 23 sounds like he suffered exactly the same as I do.

"
David was an outgoing, sensitive, funny boy, very intelligent, loving to socialize, to sport with his friends and playing games. He was in his first year of studying psychology, a study he liked very much. He just started to live on his own.

But, for some years, he had OCD complaints. At the age of 21 he thought it was time to seek professional help. He was referred by his GP to a psychiatrist. After only one consultation she prescribed him the SSRI-antidepressant sertraline. Within two weeks we noticed a total change of his personality and he was behaving out of character. He became very restless, feeling the urge to kill himself, he described he had a feeling of inner turmoil and the feeling he had to run away from everything. He begged us to phone with his psychiatrist as he found it too difficult in this condition to explain himself what he experienced. Of course we phoned, but we were refused to talk to his psychiatrist because of David's privacy, we were fobbed off. His psychiatrist never contacted us to get our information on David's condition. In our opinion he had the symptoms of akathisia.

The psychiatrist told David to continue with the sertraline. David had a horrible time. One moment he was very restless and suicidal, the other moment he felt emotionally totally blunted. He got severe sleeping problems with strange and anxious dreams. When David phoned to the psychiatry office to complain about this dreams, a second psychiatrist, who never met David before, just prescribed him by telephone the antipsychotic quetiapine (Seroquel). We didn't see that David was psychotic. While taking the quetiapine his situation deteriorated. He stopped the quetiapine after two weeks.

David experienced more and more emotional blunting, he could not feel love anymore, nor feel grieve or happiness. He lost all interest in his study. He described a feeling of something happening in his brain that made him feel complete empty. Besides the general emotional blunting, he experienced also a loss of libido, not feeling attracted to girls anymore, sexual problems. He did not understand what happened to him. He said he had the feeling that his whole personality was wiped out by the sertraline. No OCD anymore, but also no David.

After about 5 months the sertraline was stopped by the second psychiatrist, more or less cold turkey, within about 10 days. David experienced severe withdrawal symptoms for a long time. He was told by the psychiatrist these withdrawal symptoms were impossible: "The medication is out of your system two weeks after stopping them". The denial by psychiatrists of what David felt was awful. He was not listened to. He said: "I am gaslighted, I'm harmed by their medication and they say it's all in my head".

After stopping the sertraline David never recovered. He tried a lot of stuff to improve his situation, all in vain. He could not watch tv, could not play games, could not read, had no libido (the persisting loss of libido and sexual problems after use of SSRI antidepressants is known as PSSD), he felt no emotions. He had severe sleeping problems, was not able to go out with his friends because he did not feel connected to other people anymore. He felt a zombie, he said. He contacted researchers to ask to do research and find a cure for these severe Post-SSRI problems.

David wanted to live, but not the kind of life he got after the sertraline. He described this life as a continuous torture, day in day out.

David wanted psychiatrists to really listen to their patients and to their relatives. He wanted psychiatrists to acknowledge the harm their medication can cause. He wanted the pharmaceutical industries to take their responsibility for the damage caused by their drugs. He wanted researchers to find the cause and the cure for these terrible persisting Post-SSRI problems.

He knew that it probably will take years before this cure will be found. He could not bear this condition any longer. He made up his mind and ended his own life after two years of a living hell."
 
  • Aww..
Reactions: ForgottenAgain and ijustwishtodie
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
It's sad knowing that PSSD is incurable, and since I have the most severe level of PSSD, meaning I'll never be able to feel happiness, joy, pleasure, love, the full level of intimacy with another person. I can't experience touch, hugs, cuddles, kissing, etc the same way as another person and I can never be happy. I can't express emotions or smile.

And all of this was completely preventable, if I wasn't forced onto certain drugs as a kid by abusive family and psychs. I never had to live this life, and yet I've lived it most of my life with just acceptance. And that is another thing PSSD does to me, it just leaves me satisfied with nothingness, never experiencing anything, it gives me near total apathy to my own condition. Even though many with PSSD kill themselves within a few years, I can't get past my own survival instinct either.

I wish I could be happy, but there are no chances for happiness in my life.

All I can feel is pain.
 
Last edited:
  • Aww..
Reactions: ForgottenAgain and ijustwishtodie
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,228
He could not watch tv, could not play games, could not read, had no libido (the persisting loss of libido and sexual problems after use of SSRI antidepressants is known as PSSD), he felt no emotions. He had severe sleeping problems, was not able to go out with his friends because he did not feel connected to other people anymore. He felt a zombie, he said.
I don't have PSSD but all of this is so relatable (minus the severe sleeping problems) and I semi understand the pain because it's absolutely awful being like this. Having no interests or passion in anything is truly awful. In my case, I think I was just born this way as nothing really ever excited me but I feel like first having interests and then losing it after is far worse as you knew what it felt to have interests and passion at one point. I don't know how PSSD isn't even talked about as much when it can do something as significant as this. I wonder if doctors even mention this being a potential risk of taking antidepressants
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
Reactions: Suicidebydeath and ForgottenAgain
Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,559
I don't have PSSD but all of this is so relatable (minus the severe sleeping problems) and I semi understand the pain because it's absolutely awful being like this. Having no interests or passion in anything is truly awful. In my case, I think I was just born this way as nothing really ever excited me but I feel like first having interests and then losing it after is far worse as you knew what it felt to have interests and passion at one point. I don't know how PSSD isn't even talked about as much when it can do something as significant as this. I wonder if doctors even mention this being a potential risk of taking antidepressants
I read on reddit that they're not allowed to report it, or ask questions related to PSSD-symptoms in clinical trials.

It was never mentioned to me. There is a growing number of people that petition or want the government to recognize the condition, there are tens of thousands of sufferers and that is just the ones who know about the condition and are still alive.
 
  • Informative
Reactions: ForgottenAgain and ijustwishtodie
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,228
I read on reddit that they're not allowed to report it, or ask questions related to PSSD-symptoms in clinical trials.

It was never mentioned to me. There is a growing number of people that petition or want the government to recognize the condition, there are tens of thousands of sufferers and that is just the ones who know about the condition and are still alive.
Wow, it's scary just as to how much power these medical professionals have. I actually first learnt about PSSD on reddit, specifically on the r/therapyabuse subreddit (which is unfortunately gone for the time being but is an amazing subreddit). They also talked about how PSSD was something they never got informed about before taking antidepressants.

Hopefully the condition does get realised one day for people to work on it because this condition truly sounds awful and people really deserve a cure for it
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: ForgottenAgain and Suicidebydeath
nawee

nawee

nawee
Mar 19, 2023
51
When I woke up I was thinking about how my family or abusive childhood psych gave me PSSD from Citalopram, so even though I never had a happy moment in my life, they one-upped it by making sure I can't feel anything else than pain too. I was never bothered about my PSSD but thinking about it that way makes me sad, I can never have happiness or anything else. PSSD is incurable and enables me to only feel pain, I can never feel anything good.

I couldn't sleep much, I've been poorly and having nightmares.
Im so sorry you've gone through this and currently is. I really hope this gets researched more so people like you get a chance in life, I really hope you're doing somewhat good recently though, please take care of yourself :heart: you're important
 
  • Love
Reactions: Suicidebydeath

Similar threads

nails
Replies
2
Views
149
Suicide Discussion
attheend13
attheend13
D
Replies
0
Views
53
Suicide Discussion
do0mer
D
lost_one
Replies
5
Views
145
Suicide Discussion
blackbeauty
blackbeauty
.twilight.girl.
Replies
3
Views
144
Suicide Discussion
.twilight.girl.
.twilight.girl.