Venting Might start planning.

[meowmeowkitty]

i'm 19F, and i'm just tired.. i'm so fucking tired man.
i'm tired of waking up in the morning
i'm tired of these fuck ass minimum wage jobs
i'm tired of not having any friends
i'm tired of moving states and completely fucking up my life plans every year or few
i'm tired of feeling disgusting
i'm tired of being a disappointment
i'm tired of needing to check my account before buying a couple items from the store
i'm tired of fucking everything..

when will it fucking get better??
i'm only alive because i'm too much of a bitch, i've tried committing suicide when i was 15 but i pussied out of hanging myself, then tried to overdose when i was 17 but was too much of a bitch to take enough.
i'm so fucking sick of this shit man, i try over and over again to find some kind of purpose, to try harder. i can't fucking figure it out.

i'm so fucking sick and tired of waking up every goddamn day with a fucking lump in my throat, like someone's sitting on my chest, with this impending fucking doom.

i might just fucking blow my brains out, get that shit over with; quick and easy man. i should've fucking killed myself already, why didn't i.

these fuckers think i'm doing better, that somehow my depression just 'went away'.. no i just decided to shut the fuck up, and stop cutting myself. i'm still fucking miserable, i still fucking hate my life, i'm still just an ungrateful piece of shit.

i wish i could just give my life to some kid in gaza, i'm sure they'd appreciate my life way more than i do.

i just wish i could fucking peel my skin off and rip my organs out of my body, i just want to bleed out while looking into the moon; i'm so fucking tired man. i'm so fucking tired.

i genuinely don't feel like i can express my pain. it's fucking unbearable, it's insufferable… just to get the same fucking pathetic advice "it could be worse" "it just takes time" "just be positive"

HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME???
HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT JUST TO WANT TO BREATHE?!
HOW can i be positive when everything going on around me is negative.
HOW much worse can it truly get… and wouldn't that just be more of a reason to just cut the fucking act.

i need to die, or improve, or fucking something dude SOMETHING…

I just.. i just want to be happy man. i don't even know what it feels like anymore.

 

[sunnysidedown]

I feel this so fucking hard. They always tell you just to wait it out- but you can only endure so much of the fucking torture that is depression… sending hugs :,)

 

[justcallmeJ]

In sorry your feeling this way, life truly can be suffering for many. I hope you manage to find a way to get better somehow, or you find a way to find the peace you need. I wish you the best whatever you do <3

 

[Ociv]

I often hear when talking about common grievances like this, that "it's just life"

It always makes me feel worse to hear that. the fact that apparently everyone else is going through these same things and yet I am the only one suffering this bad. It makes me feel weak and pitiful, and completely hopeless. If I were an outlier in all this, it would at least give me hope that no matter what direction I went, I would most likely end up happier like everyone else, but if that is just life, then there is nowhere else for me to go. I am already at the top, and this is what it is like.

 

[Lifeaffirmingchoice]

i'm 19F, and i'm just tired.. i'm so fucking tired man.
i'm tired of waking up in the morning
i'm tired of these fuck ass minimum wage jobs
i'm tired of not having any friends
i'm tired of moving states and completely fucking up my life plans every year or few
i'm tired of feeling disgusting
i'm tired of being a disappointment
i'm tired of needing to check my account before buying a couple items from the store
i'm tired of fucking everything..

when will it fucking get better??
i'm only alive because i'm too much of a bitch, i've tried committing suicide when i was 15 but i pussied out of hanging myself, then tried to overdose when i was 17 but was too much of a bitch to take enough.
i'm so fucking sick of this shit man, i try over and over again to find some kind of purpose, to try harder. i can't fucking figure it out.

i'm so fucking sick and tired of waking up every goddamn day with a fucking lump in my throat, like someone's sitting on my chest, with this impending fucking doom.

i might just fucking blow my brains out, get that shit over with; quick and easy man. i should've fucking killed myself already, why didn't i.

these fuckers think i'm doing better, that somehow my depression just 'went away'.. no i just decided to shut the fuck up, and stop cutting myself. i'm still fucking miserable, i still fucking hate my life, i'm still just an ungrateful piece of shit.

i wish i could just give my life to some kid in gaza, i'm sure they'd appreciate my life way more than i do.

i just wish i could fucking peel my skin off and rip my organs out of my body, i just want to bleed out while looking into the moon; i'm so fucking tired man. i'm so fucking tired.

i genuinely don't feel like i can express my pain. it's fucking unbearable, it's insufferable… just to get the same fucking pathetic advice "it could be worse" "it just takes time" "just be positive"

HOW MUCH FUCKING TIME???
HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO WAIT JUST TO WANT TO BREATHE?!
HOW can i be positive when everything going on around me is negative.
HOW much worse can it truly get… and wouldn't that just be more of a reason to just cut the fucking act.

i need to die, or improve, or fucking something dude SOMETHING…

I just.. i just want to be happy man. i don't even know what it feels like anymore.

You are suffering so, so much with no end in sight. My heart breaks for you.

 

[HopingOnaMiracle]

I feel you. I just want to know how long I have to endure this...

 

[sapped]

I hear you and I feel you. I hope we can all find peace soon.