Might jump out of my roof now not sure

[lili]

Hi everyone,

I can't take my misery anymore. I have a lot of pain. Feel like I am a ghost in life. I also have heartbreak. Can't really breathe. The SN never arrived. I'm not sure how to get N and I overdosed on pills it didn't work.

The roof of my building is six floors. It's really windy. I am on the edge contemplating to drop. I am also scared, it's frightening to see the bottom. Not sure what to do. Not sure why I post this here

 

[cowie]

I know we aren't supposed to discourage you, but I don't think jumping is a good idea. It's messy and impulsive. It's better to have a method that you can plan ahead so you know you are making a sound (as possible) decision.

I've felt intrusive thoughts to jump in front of a train earlier in my life, and I'm glad I didn't then.

 

[lili]

Yeah it feels impulsive I really just don't know what to do anymore. I have a knife too but I'm too much of a coward to stab myself.

I really wish to know if there's other ways of doing this. I know we are not supposed to tell people how to do things though. I'm really sad and heartbroken and lost in life this is difficult.

Crying at the top of my building. Cold and windy. A guy walked up then left. Just why continue. So much loneliness.

Yeah that's the thing I'm nervous 6 floors is not high enough. I mean the sixth floor is the rooftop it's technically five floors the building I guess.

 

[another@]

Sorry you're feeling this way. Yeah it just sucks people walk by and they have no brains, everything feels kinda pointless. I want you to feel like you're not alone, I feel alone as well. Have you read the new info at the top of the forums?

 

[jodes2]

I'm sorry your OD didn't work :( sorry you're suffering
I wouldn't jump from 6 floors, it's not quite high enough. Sorry your SN didn't arrive too! That is shit. You going to order again?? Noone can get N at the moment; don't try, it's all probably scammers. Sorry you're in this tough spot

 

[GasMonkey]

Don't jump, it's not worth it unless is a huge height.

 

[Cathy Ames]

Not sure what to do. Not sure why I post this here

Since you are not sure, you should NOT do it. Call your therapist and tell him or her about those things you mentioned (misery, pain, ghost in life, heartbreak, difficulty leaving the house). If your therapist has not been able to help you with these things, then consider switching to someone else.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Oh Lili, I'm so sad to hear that you're suffering so badly. Life can be really horrible. We should talk. I don't believe that a impulsive attempt it's a good idea. Anyway, my pm's are always open for you I've been through a hard time also.

 

[StrangeAndDeath]

Please don't do it... I don't think 6 floors is high enough. And this feels impulsive. Really sorry you feel this way tho

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing can certainly be cruel and painful, and I do understand that it's hard to carry on existing when you feel so desperate to leave this life behind. I know what it's like having limited options of ways to ctb, but I would personally only attempt a method that I believe would succeed. Of course I wish that it's easier to be free from this world but I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm so sorry that it is so hard right now
I agree with the others - jumping from that height is a risky strategy

I'd truly hate to think of you suffering from life changing injuries as a result and being even more trapped

I don't have any real advice, I just wanted to let you know that I'm here and I care; this feeling that is so incredibly overwhelming right now WILL pass and perhaps you'll be able to think more coherently about ways to go that are safer and more peaceful for you
It's ok for now to feel it all; cry it out. We are here with you

 

[ksp]

i'm so sorry you feel like that, and no one will be able to truly understand…
i lost my best friend, many years ago, and i felt an indescribable emptiness

i definitely want to end my life, but i don't want to prolong my suffering either (or possibly make it way worse)
i lived on the 40th floor, but decided to find a peaceful method (inert gas)

i really hope you'll find some peace

 

[Cathy Ames]

How are you, @lili? Have you had a chance to talk with anyone?