Might have a chance at VAD for PSSD

[kaleisgreatinsalad]

I have found an organization, which I will keep private, that has considered my application and is willing to work with me in figuring out a way for me to be approved. I am scared to die, but I don't know what's worse. To live a life that lacks all pleasure and meaning, or the unknowns of death. I can hardly think about anything anymore. It's like my brain is mostly shut off from who I used to be. Which then brings the question of whether I fully understand what comes with dying, and if it is a fully informed choice. If I cannot feel and cannot think straight with PSSD, how do I know this is what I actually want? But then again, if I will never go back to how I used to be, I am faced with this reality. I just pretend to my family that I am okay and everything is fine. I have such bad cognitive dysfunction and emotional blunting that I don't even have the words or ability to describe how bad this condition is to others. I wish I had never taken an antidepressant. I was so foolish and should have known better than to trust healthcare. It's all a pseudoscience, and these medications do more harm in most cases than good. I can hardly work a part-time job, and I just don't feel any pleasure in doing anything anymore. I haven't cried in almost two years, and I haven't genuinely laughed or been happy in about that long as well, ever since taking an antidepressant and stopping it. No one can help me. My genitals might as well be cut off, as they no longer function. Is it better to die a dignified death and do the things I have always wanted to do? Or prolong this and see what happens? I cannot sensibly see this condition ever getting better. Doctors barely understand how antidepressants even work. To fix such a complex issue as PSSD would be impossible until much into the future. With time, I find my brain fog and cognitive abilities have gotten worse. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

 

[58Alice85]

There are many countries in EU where you can find some kind of euthanasia program. I'd rather do it myself instead of being surrounded by white coats.

 

[kaleisgreatinsalad]

There are many countries in EU where you can find some kind of euthanasia program. I'd rather do it myself instead of being surrounded by white coats.

True, but I would like to have my family there if I get VAD, so going through a euthanasia program would be better, so I can say a proper goodbye.

 

[EmptyBottle]

worse than pseudoscience... negligence... they do short term testing of antidepressants but almost never long term.
Hoping the side effects reduce over time for u, regardless of whether u choose the VAD or defer.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you have to suffer so much, it's so cruel and dreadful to me how there's all this suffering in existing, I wish you the best in what you decide.

 

[gameoverman]

I have found an organization, which I will keep private, that has considered my application and is willing to work with me in figuring out a way for me to be approved. I am scared to die, but I don't know what's worse. To live a life that lacks all pleasure and meaning, or the unknowns of death. I can hardly think about anything anymore. It's like my brain is mostly shut off from who I used to be. Which then brings the question of whether I fully understand what comes with dying, and if it is a fully informed choice. If I cannot feel and cannot think straight with PSSD, how do I know this is what I actually want? But then again, if I will never go back to how I used to be, I am faced with this reality. I just pretend to my family that I am okay and everything is fine. I have such bad cognitive dysfunction and emotional blunting that I don't even have the words or ability to describe how bad this condition is to others. I wish I had never taken an antidepressant. I was so foolish and should have known better than to trust healthcare. It's all a pseudoscience, and these medications do more harm in most cases than good. I can hardly work a part-time job, and I just don't feel any pleasure in doing anything anymore. I haven't cried in almost two years, and I haven't genuinely laughed or been happy in about that long as well, ever since taking an antidepressant and stopping it. No one can help me. My genitals might as well be cut off, as they no longer function. Is it better to die a dignified death and do the things I have always wanted to do? Or prolong this and see what happens? I cannot sensibly see this condition ever getting better. Doctors barely understand how antidepressants even work. To fix such a complex issue as PSSD would be impossible until much into the future. With time, I find my brain fog and cognitive abilities have gotten worse. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Hi,I have PSSD too and it's absolute hell. I have no doubts that I want to CTB. Could you PM me the name of the organization or give me some hint?