Venting Might ctb soon im getting sick of all of it

[gravesfrommiami]

Im so tired being treated like shit constantly from everyone around me, im so fucking tired of the same shit over and over and over and over, year after year after year. The constant disrespect, the constant lies back to back, the inevitable loneliness I'm honestly at my wits end. Mind you I've been dealing with this shit for YEARS now so all the depression all the sadness all the rage all the anger is finally starting to take it toll. I'm never good enough for anyone or anything, when I do something I always fuck it up and get shit on for it. I never had anyone in my entire fucking life to share how i really feel. Never told my parents cause I HIGHLY doubt they fucking care about me anymore, I've always had to bottle up my feeling cause no one ever gave a shit about me or the way how i feel, and if i try to say how I feel i will immediately get shot down afterwards with some unnecessary remark I've been bullied most of my life In school AND by my older cousins. I hated coming home from school knowing that i was going to get made fun of again by my own family. no one helped me at all I always had to fight my battles alone no help from my parents, no help from my uncles and aunts, absolutely fucking nothing, so I had to suffer alone. Everyone else is living so much better lives then me they seem so happy meanwhile here I am alone with no one to talk to. My Irl friends don't give a fuck about me and the ones that talk to me still make me feel like shit. I would play games most of the time to take my mind off of it but thats not even helping anymore






I just want to feel loved I want to feel like i matter to someone, anyone how ever i don't feel like thats ever going to happen I'm a joke of a human being. I feel like i deserve to be alone and rot alone, i really wish all my past methods of ctb were successful otherwise i wouldn't have to feel like this. I don't know what to do anymore I want to give up at this point I no longer see a reason to live when I'm constantly feeling depressed no matter what i do to be happy, it seems like ctb may be the only option I have. If i have to ctb just to feel appreciated, to feel like i matter, to feel like i was actually worth something, then so be it because I'm honestly done with all of it.

 

[wtg]

Good luck bro

 

[FuneralCry]

It certainly is so incredibly awful how in this world humans just create so much harm and make the existences of others much worse, of course you cannot trust and rely on other people. But anyway it's understandable wishing to finally be free from all the suffering that this life brings, this world is undeniably such a hellish place.

 

[AnonymousX]

How? Do you know of a peaceful way to go?