CrazyMary
Student
- Sep 20, 2020
- 141
Hi:
Been toying with the idea of suicide for ages, I have been in this forum since Covid. I had several different diagnosis and the latest one is adhd, tried therapy and meda for depression and anxiety for years. Tried also some off the beaten path method like shrooms therapy even with a shrink to no avail. I was told back in 2020 that 5 years would pass after having psycoanalisis and therapy and i will look around and would be glad I didn´t kill myself. Thos years passed already I do have a good business nowadays and I have a good relationship but I still have that void. I am tired of this life and see no hope for the future of the world, i don´t think it is worthwhile. Everything was "good" in my life for a while but I still didn´t feel happy with life or found a meaning. Every day is a toll living inside my head. Tried concerta for adhdh and just had awful panic attacks. I am trying a new medicine but I am just tired. To amke matters worst a legal trial i had just came back again and might be a few years and a bit of money to fix it. I can fight it and could win it but for me it is just not worth it. I also have an ailing mother that just doesn´t help take care of herself, she has nurses 24/7 and she still does stuff that injuries her. I am just tired of everything and of fighting i just want tto quit.
My method is jumping form a 13 flood, I know it should be 15 but this is the best i could get access to and also,thinking of taking before hand some acenocumarol, an anticoagulant, so in case i survive i might bleed to dead.
My mom and gf would be fine, yeah it would hurt them but the pain i am suffering is more than the one that i will give em.
Been toying with the idea of suicide for ages, I have been in this forum since Covid. I had several different diagnosis and the latest one is adhd, tried therapy and meda for depression and anxiety for years. Tried also some off the beaten path method like shrooms therapy even with a shrink to no avail. I was told back in 2020 that 5 years would pass after having psycoanalisis and therapy and i will look around and would be glad I didn´t kill myself. Thos years passed already I do have a good business nowadays and I have a good relationship but I still have that void. I am tired of this life and see no hope for the future of the world, i don´t think it is worthwhile. Everything was "good" in my life for a while but I still didn´t feel happy with life or found a meaning. Every day is a toll living inside my head. Tried concerta for adhdh and just had awful panic attacks. I am trying a new medicine but I am just tired. To amke matters worst a legal trial i had just came back again and might be a few years and a bit of money to fix it. I can fight it and could win it but for me it is just not worth it. I also have an ailing mother that just doesn´t help take care of herself, she has nurses 24/7 and she still does stuff that injuries her. I am just tired of everything and of fighting i just want tto quit.
My method is jumping form a 13 flood, I know it should be 15 but this is the best i could get access to and also,thinking of taking before hand some acenocumarol, an anticoagulant, so in case i survive i might bleed to dead.
My mom and gf would be fine, yeah it would hurt them but the pain i am suffering is more than the one that i will give em.
