Message from WornOutLife aka Matt

[ExhaustedExistence]

You might think what happened with our loving member known as Matt aka WornOutLife. As you probably know his name is crossed out now. But don't worry...

I can assure you he is "okay" (I mean still alive, still fighting and even improving). He felt quilty for not giving you any explanation, so he asked me for doing it because he disabled his account.

So here is probably the last message from an unforgettable member:






Hello, my dear SS fellows.
This is me, Matt, aka WornOutLife, who's decided to ask my dear ExhaustedExistence to send you all the following message:

I know I'd said I was back but, unfortunately, I really wasn't.
That night I posted 2 threads in a row on SS, I was very happy but…DRUNK.
I had been missing you all so much that I needed to talk to you all somehow so, that's what I did; I posted two threads in a row.

The truth is that my life has been improving a lot since I left SS (Although it had improving a lot since last February, when I was quite active here)



However, I felt like I might have been quite exposed recently when I posted my stuff because there are new people in real life who know about me now.
Thus, I asked myself: "Do I still wanna be part of SS? The best website I've ever visited but…suicide-related?"

So, I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be part of SS anymore.

I've met GREAT people here and I'm already talking to some of you on different platforms such as whatsapp and telegram so, I think I'm more than happy.

I wanna really thank you all for having been such nice individuals with me. I have no regrets.

I think you all know I've done my best to help you all so, I hope you don't hate me or something like that because trust me, I really love you all because you're just…the only human beings who can really understand the way I feel.

Thus, there are still many things I wanna tell you but…I'll just say:

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING BEEN PART OF AND BEING THERE FOR ME DURING MY HARDEST TIMES WHILE DEALING WITH THIS GODDAMN LIFE.

As for me, well, I have many on-going and new challenges around so, I'll do my best to keep on fighting.

Thus, I have nothing more to say but to THANK YOU and WISH YOU THE BEST!!

PS: I felt so embarrassed posting this after saying I was back that that's why I just disabled my account and then, I asked ExhaustedExistence to help me out. I'm really sorry for being such a coward guy lol.

Infinite hugs and love,

Matt, aka, WornOutLife

 

[GreenMile]

So good to hear some good news. Glad he turned things around.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Gfs save lives.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm glad things are going well for him, I wish him the best.

 

[logan]

I think it was good for him and for us that he said goodbye in this way.

He has contributed a lot to this community.

 

[blue_muse]

He has so much going for him outside of SS; a career, a loving father and a loyal pet. I hope real life appreciates him the same way SS community does.

 

[noname223]

I knew this was the explanation. Wish you well!

 

[Hurt]

Such a great guy. It's good to see him improving. I wish I could say the same for me. I'm stuck in this state of mind. I can't escape. And when I seem to be enjoying life again I go back to feel bad again. It never ends. I wish him the best.

 

[noname223]

Such a great guy. It's good to see him improving. I wish I could say the same for me. I'm stuck in this state of mind. I can't escape. And when I seem to be enjoying life again I go back to feel bad again. It never ends. I wish him the best.

I relate to that. I wish I could move in life too. Sadly I know my future.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I figured he left to recover. I'm proud of him and hope he continues to improve. Best of luck Matt, we're rooting for you

 

[BottomlessPit]

I'm glad the he managed to improve his life so much. All the best to you Matt.
(just a shame that I didn't have the opportunity to ask for his youtube lol.)

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Such a kind comforting person. I am glad he is improving and making steps to go forward and he is finding the strength. Matt we will miss you here

 

[I-can-only-imagine]

Matt this news makes me so happy for you! You deserve the best. Thank you for supporting me through such a tricky time. I will selfishly miss you but I truly hope that everything continues upwards for you. Wish I had a chance to grab your WhatsApp before you left. Know that we are all here cheering you on and always here if you ever do need to reach out once again.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Congrats and best of luck to you. :)

 

[Thanatonaut]

I'm basically in the same boat. Life and health improved again, so I walked away from SS. I kept my account just to check in on people I care about from time to time, Matt being one of them. My heart sank when I saw the crossed out name, but I'm happy that he's also able to move on with his life. This might be the last time I log on. If I return, it's probably because shit got bad again.

 

[mostlycloudy]

Gfs save lives.

Or ruin them

 

[Whale_bones]

I always saw his posts and appreciated his kindness, compassion and humor, he always added something good to a thread. I'm so glad that he's getting some of that good energy in his own life now.

 

[All Things Must Pass]

Christ, the melodrama. It's a forum, not a religion. No one's stoning you for leaving it.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Christ, the melodrama. It's a forum, not a religion. No one's stoning you for leaving it.

It's wacky tired bullshit. I immediately ignored him upon his arrival. Way too whoohoo positive.

 

[Lost Magic]

I really enjoyed that guy's posts. He just sounded like the sweetest most down to earth guy. I wish him nothing but the best in life. I hope he scraps this ctb crap and makes a full recovery.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Just wanted to say thank you exhaustedexistance for letting us know about Matt.
I know you won't see this Matt but I am so happy for you. I will miss you but I hope you don't have to come back.
Best wishes Bro, You deserve it.

 

[motel rooms]

Yes, he was extremely kind. When I first joined the forum, I thought he was the official greeter or sumthin. He always struck me as strangely optimistic, almost childlike. I hope he doesn't get suckered into having a kid. That would be extremely unwise seeing as he has BD & his mother has schizophrenia. Unfortunately, genes matter...

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

No offense but I am new and I think this thread belongs in Recovery. IDGAF about this shit. Ultra postive optimistic people on SS probably shouldn't be on it.

I always get the sense that the more people who say good shit about them the more the obvious it is the intentions of the person getting the compliements to conduct themselves in some sort of way. I dont's think it's possible to 'touch the hearts' of most members. A comment...A profile...A post...it doesn't mean shit in the big picture.

Whatever. Great.

 

[motel rooms]

I always get the sense that the more people who say good shit about them the more the obvious it is the intentions of the person getting the compliements to conduct themselves in some sort of way. I dont's think it's possible to 'touch the hearts' of most members. A comment...A profile...A post...it doesn't mean shit in the big picture.

Lots of people like warm & fuzzy... Matt was vanilla ice cream, not my favorite flavor, but he was genuinely kind & tons of fragile people loved him because they wanted to interact with someone unambiguously & reliably sweet. I respect that. It may seem that I'm on the forum primarily to make crude jokes, but I do that because it's my way of giving a friendly hug to other desperate, tortured sarcastic folks. Maybe it doesn't mean shit in the end, but unfortunately we're not dead yet & we still feel a need to communicate with like-minded people...

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Lots of people like warm & fuzzy... Matt was vanilla ice cream, not my favorite flavor, but he was genuinely kind & tons of fragile people loved him because they wanted to interact with someone unambiguously & reliably sweet. I respect that. It may seem that I'm on the forum primarily to make crude jokes, but I do that because it's my way of giving a friendly hug to other desperate, tortured sarcastic folks. Maybe it doesn't mean shit in the end, but unfortunately we're not dead yet & we still feel a need to communicate with like-minded people...

I guess. I don't agree...so that's why I said. Of course everyone has a right to their opinion. Really though this is more for Recovery section. I immediately was turned off and ignored him upon his 'hey guys what's up' post and then his 'should I date' post. He sounded really UP to me. Tired of the 'hey lovely people what's up' shit.

I hear what you are saying about your posting of crude gifs and shit. Idk. Whatever. It is all fleeting...

I could tell immediately he was not like-minded with me. Differnet realities completely.

 

[unperson]

It's so good to hear he's doing well. enjoy your life Matt-kun =)

 

[Lost Magic]

I guess. I don't agree...so that's why I said. Of course everyone has a right to their opinion. Really though this is more for Recovery section. I immediately was turned off and ignored him upon his 'hey guys what's up' post and then his 'should I date' post. He sounded really UP to me. Tired of the 'hey lovely people what's up' shit.

I hear what you are saying about your posting of crude gifs and shit. Idk. Whatever. It is all fleeting...

I could tell immediately he was not like-minded with me. Differnet realities completely.

You have to understand, Matt, has Bipolar and he already ended up in the hospital a while back after his suicide attempt. Bipolar has feelings of intense lows and highs. The lad just tried to comfort people who have all different kinds of problems and I for one respect him for that. He is also deeply conflicted with his ambitions to recover but a big part of him wants to ctb. It is like he wants to live a normal life with his dad and dog but the deep torment of mental illness keeps creeping up on him. If you factor in all those variables, you would understand him more.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

You have to understand, Matt, has Bipolar and he already ended up in the hospital a while back after his suicide attempt. Bipolar has feelings of intense lows and highs. The lad just tried to comfort people who have all different kinds of problems and I for one respect him for that. He is also deeply conflicted with his ambitions to recover but a big part of him wants to ctb. It is like he wants to live a normal life with his dad and dog but the deep torment of mental illness keeps creeping up on him. If you factor in all those variables, you would understand him more.

In reading this a second/third time I think situation sounds very sucky. Even if he wasn't bipolar it's hard to feel okay/satisfied/safe living like that. Of course I hope he makes it through. Shit sucks when you're stuck at home with parent with no resolve for a big change...that takes fucking money sadly.

Regardless of bipolar the job market is shit and it takes a real income/career to make it through. I hope he gets shit together and of course like another said doesn't procreate.

 

[motel rooms]

In reading this a second/third time I think situation sounds very sucky. Even if he wasn't bipolar it's hard to feel okay/satisfied/safe living like that. Of course I hope he makes it through. Shit sucks when you're stuck at home with parent with no resolve for a big change...that takes fucking money sadly.

He lives in his apartment & has a job

 

[mossyfox]

I wish I'd been here when he was but I'm glad to see someone else with bipolar can keep fighting. About how old is he?