Mental Illness & Suicide

[InezSerrano]

I think it is very sad that many people (maybe including myself) will kill themself because of something that is at least allegedly treatable. I'm not sure who is more at fault, the medical system, the early life experiences/abusive people that may have caused this, me myself...

I myself have seen maybe a dozen at this point therapists, none of them really were good enough. Really a few could have been. One of my school councilors was good, but of course what they could do was very limited. Another was pretty good but after I became very close to suicide and I wasn't "getting better" they decided they couldn't help me. Right now I'm on a waiting list to see the only pyschiatrist in the rural area I live in...

It is just so frustrating. I feel like I'm doing my part, I'm asking for help, I'm not getting it. I went to therapy for the first time in middle school when my mom found out I was cutting. I'm on anti anxiety medication, anti depressants. I've tried self medicating, I've been suicidal WHILE ON KETAMINE, how does that even work. I've tried MDMA to feel good, been suicidal WHILE ROLLING ON MDMA. It just seems very hopeless, and I'm in a very lucky situation, I'm a NEET so I don't need to do anything besides focusing on not killing myself, but even then it's hard. I took some anti emetics today in case I decided I want to do SN soon, I should probably read over the method again to make sure how it works.. AAA IDK, on one hand I want to continue with things, try to work stuff out, on the other hand it's been YEARS since I first started trying to "get help" and things haven't improved.

Edit: for those who don't know, Ketamine is supposed to stop you from being suicidal and MDMA is supposed to make you feel pretty happy while on it.

 

[Al Cappella]

Where I am mental health infrastructure is, well, largely a joke. All psychiatrists are psychopharmacologists, psychologists oversee programs, but don't actually see patients, patients are seen, in terms of talking cure, by social workers.

You really get no one to see you unless you go through emerg. There are group therapy thingies, but they max out at I think 24 weeks. So you end up with meds, seeing your psych occasionally to monitor things.

Really, mental health is aimed at the episodic, my puppy just died, depressions that respond well to drug interventions. If you have something chronic, treatment-resistant—in other words long-standing and not sexy, you're hooped.

I don't know. Maybe a bit bitter tonight, but things move very very slowly. On the other hand, the fact that we've been having a 2+ year plague and a whole bunch of little Muffies couldn't go out to get their spiced lattes whenever they wanted—now there's a sudden awareness of anxiety and depression.

It's a shitshow.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are in this situation. I understand why you would be frustrated. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Area Man]

Really, mental health is aimed at the episodic, my puppy just died, depressions that respond well to drug interventions. If you have something chronic, treatment-resistant—in other words long-standing and not sexy, you're hooped.

I gathered that. Longstanding, treatment resistant depression, anxiety or anything more complex just get you lumped in with the 'losers'. I'm autistic and that in part fuelled my problems but hey, I didn't know till 28 so was wondering why everything was getting worse while I was being treated not better! I can't live as I'm expected to because my condition forbids me from doing so. I cannot reach the standards expected of most of my existing relationships in family or any I make at work because of my idiosyncrasies and other issues like PTSD or OCD.

Mental health treatment really is just for neurotypical people who already have the basics like work, money and relationships together. Jordan Peterson said it himself, if you're 40 and you've no job, no partner and poor physical health then you're screwed. I'm feeling at the point now where I should assume the mental health sector can do little for me and I either find a way to cope with my shit myself or fucking die.

The idea we've become more tolerant of mental health problems is a myth for chronic mental illness or conditions that often lead to it.

 

[june]

We are doing our best. Cheers mate, virtual hugs