Mental health getting worse

[BlueButterfly19]

Was diagnosed schizoaffective two years ago. Was in and out of hospitals several times that year. I recently experienced a flare up that started a couple weeks ago. It started with very little sleep over the coarse of a week. Then things got a little better. But now it's much worse. Hearing voices again and they keep talking about me every time I'm in my apartment. I'm afraid to make a sound. I haven't completely lost it yet and need hospitaltization, I seriously hope it doesn't get to that point again. My hope is to tough it out and see the end of this flare up without hospitalization. They say schizoaffective follows you the rest of your life. I don't know how much more I can take of this. I didn't think I'd get another episode 2 years later again.

 

[FuneralCry]

I imagine that must be dreadful, it's cruel to me how there's all this suffering in existing but anyway I hope that you find the relief you search for, best wishes.

 

[SVEN]

It's good that you are so aware of your condition, I hope you manage to get the medical help and support you need.

 

[BlueButterfly19]

I'm writing from a motel. I decided to stay in one for one night, maybe change of scenery would help with the voices. The voices seems to be triggered by stress and anxiety. Both low mumbling voices and short loud ones mad at me. This is hell to deal with. I'm so thankful for my friend. I called him and he suggested me to get active noise cancelling headphones. I was so wowed the first time I wore them, like it was the first time I got glasses in my 20s and I was amazed with wonder how different the world felt (I've been near sighted my whole life but I didn't get glasses until stepmom got me some when dad remarried). And then shortly disappointed when I could still hear voices, but realized they were the hallucination voices. At least now I have a better way to tell the difference between real voices and hallucinations with this device. But I'm going to have to wear them almost 24/7 like I do my glasses (except driving the car and sleep most likely). I don't know if I'll ever get the voices to go away, but at least this is a step in the right direction. Still waiting to hear back from my psychiatrist, have an appointment on Wednesday.

 

[BlueButterfly19]

It's good that you are so aware of your condition, I hope you manage to get the medical help and support you need.

I wasn't so aware 2 years ago the first time I experienced it, hence several hospitalizations and delusions and spiraling. I hope so too, thank you kind stranger.

 

[maniac116]

If you need to be hospitalized then please do that for your own sake. You deserve it! If you actively take care of yourself you'll feel better about yourself.
I'm sorry you have to deal with voices. It must be really challenging & I cant imagine the stress.
You don't deserve what you're going through but you really need to go ask for help

 

[2messdup]

I'm writing from a motel. I decided to stay in one for one night, maybe change of scenery would help with the voices. The voices seems to be triggered by stress and anxiety. Both low mumbling voices and short loud ones mad at me. This is hell to deal with. I'm so thankful for my friend. I called him and he suggested me to get active noise cancelling headphones. I was so wowed the first time I wore them, like it was the first time I got glasses in my 20s and I was amazed with wonder how different the world felt (I've been near sighted my whole life but I didn't get glasses until stepmom got me some when dad remarried). And then shortly disappointed when I could still hear voices, but realized they were the hallucination voices. At least now I have a better way to tell the difference between real voices and hallucinations with this device. But I'm going to have to wear them almost 24/7 like I do my glasses (except driving the car and sleep most likely). I don't know if I'll ever get the voices to go away, but at least this is a step in the right direction. Still waiting to hear back from my psychiatrist, have an appointment on Wednesday.

That's cool about the headphones. I'd never have thought of that.