Help Meet up with therapists soon

[ThatStateOfMind]

I got to meet up with therapists soon. I went once, and they have since called me monthly to check up and casually asked if I'd like to come in for an in-person check in or even telehealth (like on Zoom) and I said sure because I don't see the harm.

I'm really nervous about it. I don't like talking about my life and my struggles, and I feel underaccomplished (I'm unemployed, that's the main part that makes me feel bad). I don't enjoy talking to people about my ex, even though I'm aware it may help. I'm almost certain I have ADHD, social anxiety, PTSD, and possibly depression.

All of this makes me one big ball of anxiety.

I should also clarify it isn't really therapy, per se, rather just a check in with what I believe is called a care coordinator? She's really kind and even remembers stuff I tell her monthly (she may also take notes but I still feel good about it) and they also ask my mom about me when she goes in for her appointments. The craziness must be genetic haha. Anyways, I'm just a tad bit worried about all of this, because I get on the brink of crying about some of this stuff, especially my ex cheating on me :/

 

[Inthewind]

Thats good they remember what you said last month, I always had a problem with what to do after I get into the job I am aiming for when I get a graduate degree for it. Like it feels stationary once you do what society sorta ingrains into your mind to do while your in education system. I dont like feeling that im not earning money 24/7 I always have a financial fear something is going to pop up that takes away or is an emergency and takes like all my money so I wont have a place to live or soemthing like that. Being unemployed is alright, I get you feel bad about it, I have fear about it as I am not employed either, I really scared of interviews. Think about having a goal possibly so you can go towards something, idk why your unemployed but if you can get a job then I hope you can get it, and if you cant I feel you aswell.

At least your discovering more of your identity, it a little not gooood stuff like ptsd and social anxiety buut at least you know about it and are aware and can try to avoid some things if possible to not trigger them. Talking about your ex, which gives you near tears, well when talking about it it sometimes gives breakthroughs and possibly just like makes you actualize and realize and just sorta accept that it is true what happened maybe, idk not a therapist never been to therapy so dunno if true it just what I think happens. But also trying to avoid it and not talk about it may help aswell, for me stuff happened a bit ago and it sometiems feels like it wasnt long ago like Im really good at visualizing then I remind myself that that was years ago and the people are gone luckily now from my circle of people.

Well I hope things go well for your care visit and you figure out what to do and heal/find peace from the events and memories.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Thats good they remember what you said last month, I always had a problem with what to do after I get into the job I am aiming for when I get a graduate degree for it. Like it feels stationary once you do what society sorta ingrains into your mind to do while your in education system. I dont like feeling that im not earning money 24/7 I always have a financial fear something is going to pop up that takes away or is an emergency and takes like all my money so I wont have a place to live or soemthing like that. Being unemployed is alright, I get you feel bad about it, I have fear about it as I am not employed either, I really scared of interviews. Think about having a goal possibly so you can go towards something, idk why your unemployed but if you can get a job then I hope you can get it, and if you cant I feel you aswell.

At least your discovering more of your identity, it a little not gooood stuff like ptsd and social anxiety buut at least you know about it and are aware and can try to avoid some things if possible to not trigger them. Talking about your ex, which gives you near tears, well when talking about it it sometimes gives breakthroughs and possibly just like makes you actualize and realize and just sorta accept that it is true what happened maybe, idk not a therapist never been to therapy so dunno if true it just what I think happens. But also trying to avoid it and not talk about it may help aswell, for me stuff happened a bit ago and it sometiems feels like it wasnt long ago like Im really good at visualizing then I remind myself that that was years ago and the people are gone luckily now from my circle of people.

Well I hope things go well for your care visit and you figure out what to do and heal/find peace from the events and memories.

Yeah, I'm aiming for an undergraduate degree currently and that's my main goal. I also have a fear of running out of money. I'm not unable to get a job, I just live in a small town so open part time jobs are few and far between. I had a job for like a month but I left because they wanted me to work overnights and it wasn't conducive with my schedule, plus every time I went in I had awful anxiety and vomited like twice before a shift while I had the job. I hate applying, but more so hate interviews, they absolutely fill me with dread

And yeah I'm glad I'm discovering things about myself, even though it's not so great like PTSD. I also can't avoid talking about my ex at all so maybe it's better to tell them and like you said, actualize it and stuff. My ex is still a very minuscule part of my life (she occasionally messages me).

And thank you, I hope things go well, it happens Wednesday and I guess I'll see what happens, hopefully I can find peace with time.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

, and I feel underaccomplished (I'm unemployed, that's the main part that makes me feel bad).

Dude you're fucking 19 in college. It's okay. ;)

I don't enjoy talking to people about my ex,

You could have fooled us :p. (Just a joke).

The craziness must be genetic haha.

Psychiatric problems tend to run in families. And it's not a matter of being "crazy".

because I get on the brink of crying about some of this stuff, especially my ex cheating on me :/

It's okay to cry about it. It doesn't reflect poorly on you.

And yeah I'm glad I'm discovering things about myself, even though it's not so great like PTSD.

But on the contrary information can be a powerful weapon and armed with that you are in a better place to help yourself.

Even though I am cynical about therapy I do think talking about this stuff with someone would be beneficial to you especially since you've never really tried It before. Form your posts on the forum you clearly feel a great need to unload and while this forum is great it may not meet the needs you have all the way.

 

[Inthewind]

Yeah, I'm aiming for an undergraduate degree currently and that's my main goal. I also have a fear of running out of money. I'm not unable to get a job, I just live in a small town so open part time jobs are few and far between. I had a job for like a month but I left because they wanted me to work overnights and it wasn't conducive with my schedule, plus every time I went in I had awful anxiety and vomited like twice before a shift while I had the job. I hate applying, but more so hate interviews, they absolutely fill me with dread

And yeah I'm glad I'm discovering things about myself, even though it's not so great like PTSD. I also can't avoid talking about my ex at all so maybe it's better to tell them and like you said, actualize it and stuff. My ex is still a very minuscule part of my life (she occasionally messages me).

And thank you, I hope things go well, it happens Wednesday and I guess I'll see what happens, hopefully I can find peace with time.

Heck them, not working with your class schedule, real quick I saw information where if oyu have a job and have insurance in some states you may need docters note or some states the job isnt required to give you paid time off (need insurance for the paid time off) annd soemtimes it isn't 100% fuly paid time off, it can 50% or somehing paid time off and it can be months where your away from the job and still paid. (I think was called short term disability? I completly forgot it was just a shorts video) Well maybe not so useful in your case maybe someone else will read this. Oh I see how major the anxiety is man that seems tough to overcome.
If I did what you were doing wednesday I would prep by just gettin a good credit score before hand then going ham having fun and maxing it out. Im not wise nor know credit card stuff but I sometimes think bout that it would be cool and I could tour places. As for the work situation I hope you could apply to some sort of aid and have your therapist sign off on how your mental prevents you from working and that you can apply for fiancial assistance aswell from the college because in some cases you may have full paid two years or something with fasfa, cal something. Oh as for the ex, if they bring you dismay and just pain I'd block them why keep people who only cause hurt to your mental. personally I blocked lots of people, I never or barely spoke to them well I tried messaging them but they didnt message me back, so I texted them three times between messages months passed and if they didnt answer I blocked them because I gave them three chances. As for people who caused me pain buuut they dont realize it, yknow like they rejected me I directly said I dont feel good mentally, im a bit sad from the rejction but I would like to be friends, however at the moment talking to you hurts for me soo in the future when I feel better I will try message you and we can try be friends. Something like that if you feel like it, boundries are good, Im still learning to set boundries this is my second year trying to set boundaries and it has helped me find out who accepts and lets the friendship flourish and those who only coninued to hurt me because I told them not to tell me certain things yet they continued to do so. Hopefully you gain something from this, doesnt matter how little time left yknow, I just like trynna help anyway for some reason. Anyway, hope today was alright.
For me personally, I accidentally complicated things with a friend, so I have plans to clear that up tomorrow and change up my day routine by walking or going to pool