Mean girls clique?

[Meditation guide]

I tell people when I follow them and why on here. I did that recently with someone and said it was because they seemed interesting. I came back later and saw they seem to have a group of close friends they chat with a lot and one of them said "quingee" which I take meant "cringy", and the one I had followed didn't say anything back to me. It was all lovey dovey hugs all over the place with her friends. I felt hurt. Was I right to feel this way?

 

[Ghost2211]

I've never understood this about girls. I'm way to unsocial to have ever personally encountered this, but I hear about it a lot and see it used in tv/movies. It's one of the more bizarre "normal" social behaviors to me.

 

[Meditation guide]

I've never understood this about girls. I'm way to unsocial to have ever personally encountered this, but I hear about it a lot and see it used in tv/movies. It's one of the more bizarre "normal" social behaviors to me.

I'm not even sure it's a girl except it's only been girls I've seen act like this. I don't think telling someone why I decided to follow them, due to them sounding interesting, is "cringy", and said in a sickening cutesy way on top of that. But I guess they need that type of put down to feel good.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I tell people when I follow them and why on here. I did that recently with someone and said it was because they seemed interesting. I came back later and saw they seem to have a group of close friends they chat with a lot and one of them said "quingee" which I take meant "cringy", and the one I had followed didn't say anything back to me. It was all lovey dovey hugs all over the place with her friends. I felt hurt. Was I right to feel this way?

"Don't take anything you see on the internet too seriously"
- Abraham Lincoln

 

[Ghost2211]

I don't get it either. It sounds like they're just an unkind person. It seems out of context and without logic to say following is cringe.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

you were right to feel that way. the person you followed can have their own thoughts, but they don't need to be so rude about it. a simple "thank you" would've done the trick.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I can't comment on the individuals that you mentioned or about what they said, because I was not there to see the whole situation. But let's say for the sake of this discussion that someone (anyone) has ignored you in the way that you described, and they were in fact doing it deliberately - then yes you are right to feel this way. First of all: being rejected, cut-off or left out can be very painful - especially if it is done with the intent to hurt the rejectees feelings. Not just this, but if you were trying to be friendly and kind to them - then they are essentially throwing it back in your face for no reason. It is just rude and downright malicious.

Edit: This post was written in a general context; not as an accusation toward anyone specifically.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I don't get it either. It sounds like they're just an unkind person. It seems out of context and without logic to say following is cringe.

This. The kinda person you wouldn't wanna be friends with anyway. Don't think you missed out on much. I don't get this kind of behaviour, it's very 2 faced.

 

[Birdie]

Was I right to feel this way?

Of course. She was so unpolite. My guess is she didn't know how to deal with the compliment, maybe she was surprised, didn't think it was serious because she can't see why someone would think of her as possibly interesting, something like that. Anyway, she's just kinda silly so don't let it bring you down!

 

[Meditation guide]

I just wondered if I misinterpreted it but I don't think so. There was a bunch of hugging kissing hearts among them all. I was surprised as that seems so out of place here. It made me question my own actions for even mentioning I followed her but I thought it's just polite to tell people why I'm doing it.

 

[Ghost2211]

I just wondered if I misinterpreted it but I don't think so. There was a bunch of hugging kissing hearts among them all. I was surprised as that seems so out of place here. It made me question my own actions for even mentioning I followed her but I thought it's just polite to tell people why I'm doing it.

Lol damn I'm so out of place I didn't even know the cool suicidal girls existed. It's ok, we not cool girls love you

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I just wondered if I misinterpreted it but I don't think so. There was a bunch of hugging kissing hearts among them all. I was surprised as that seems so out of place here. It made me question my own actions for even mentioning I followed her but I thought it's just polite to tell people why I'm doing it.

It can be difficult to interpret the way other people talk online. You are just reading text on a screen; there is no emotion, voice or tone to pick up from. So do not "beat yourself up" as they say.

Perhaps they might not have been talking about you, or maybe they were - in which case the problem is not with you. And yes it is polite that you decide to tell people why you are following them. It is not common for users to do that, from personal experience, but the fact that you do shows a level of consideration for whoever you are following - it is kind.

 

[Mm80]

I think your justified to be upset, as its not a nice thing. But i think its important to realise if someone is so immature that they cant accept a genuine compliment, they have the problem and not you. Good people often internalize blame on tbemselves and its so unfair.

 

[Meditation guide]

I feel better now. It's mild bullying and it's painful. I'm surprised at myself for feeling hurt actually as it logically is silly to feel that way but it's like a slap in the face when all I was doing is trying to be nice. Surprising too to see it here of all places.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I wasn't sure about how or what this follow was until I asked about it. I don't think she has the same excuse. I agree it's someone you probably don't want to be friends with anyway. It shows there are mean people no matter where we are =( sending you hugs.

 

[Giraffey]

I think that you have a right to feel however you feel, even if you misunderstood their intentions it doesn't make how you feel any less valid. I've noticed there are little cliques around here but I think sometimes it's probably just small groups of otherwise introverted people who (as someone else commented above) might not know how to react to a compliment, or might be inclined to take it the same way they would on a dating site (your profile is so interesting, my message is so unoriginal)...

Anyway, I can't see that you've done anything wrong and it's definitely their loss. Hopefully if they see this thread and perhaps hadn't intended what they said to come across like it did, they might be tempted to just shoot you a little PM to say "sorry, no hard feelings" (sowwy, no hawd fweelings snuckums').

You log off first, no you log off first, no you! No you!! Qwinge indeed.

 

[XYZ]

You are absolutely entitled to your feelings. If you are hurt, go ahead and feel hurt. All your feelings are valid. There is no "right" and "wrong" way to feel. But I hope and wish for you to feel better soon

There are several possible explanations and unless you have absolute proof that the "cringy" comment was addressed to you, and that the person in question is actually ignoring you, all you can do is speculate.

1. Maybe they were not referring to you, maybe they meant something else.

2. Maybe they simply didn't notice your presence of that thread.

3. Maybe you said something they disliked and they decided not to engage with you.

4. Maybe they are, in fact, mean and you are better off not interacting with them.

5. Maybe something else we can't even begin to imagine.

If you care about their opinion, you can always ask them. Or not ask them. There's plenty of other people you can talk to in here.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Every time I see a post like this complaining about another member without naming names and getting sympathy, it's been invariably to triangulate other members to shame that person. And every time I've seen it, the OP did something that was in bad form, got called out on it, and then tries to get the forum on their side and soothe them. This kind of post makes flying monkeys out of forum members. The only times such a post hasn't been a power play as I describe, the person complaining has named names for predatory behavior, either in the OP or in comments. I'd be very interested to hear the side of the other people being shamed here, but really, it's a personal issue and no one's business except for the parties involved.

 

[XYZ]

The moral of the story is: Don't follow people

 

[BipolarGuy]

Every time I see a post like this complaining about another member without naming names and getting sympathy, it's been invariably to triangulate other members to shame that person. And every time I've seen it, the OP did something that was in bad form, got called out on it, and then tries to get the forum on their side and soothe them. This kind of post makes flying monkeys out of forum members. The only times such a post hasn't been a power play as I describe, the person complaining has named names for predatory behavior, either in the OP or in comments. I'd be very interested to hear the side of the other people being shamed here, but really, it's a personal issue and no one's business except for the parties involved.

I don't understand this, please forgive me.

It's entirely possible that other people pay more attention than I do and so they might know who the OP us talking about without them explicitly naming them in the thread.

 

[Meditation guide]

I feel like I'm targeted by bullies sometimes maybe because I come across a certain way. I am not exactly socially slick.

 

[Sinkinshyp]

I feel like I'm targeted by bullies sometimes maybe because I come across a certain way. I am not exactly socially slick.

I appreciate your comments on so many threads. I wonder if I had a chance to know you in another place we just might be good friends. I find you are genuine and caring.

 

[checkouttime]

you really shouldn't worry what people think of you on the internet, your never going to know who someone really is. plenty of BS floating around

 

[Meditation guide]

I'm now being bullied openly. Being talked about and having someone who has been bullying me announcing openly they think I've had a mental breakdown. Sad to see this on a site for people contemplating suicide but apparently it's not beneath some people.
This is the third or fourth day in a row. I was hoping this would stop.

 

[Ghost2211]

Did you report any bullying you saw? That's generally the best way to bring mod attention to a problem.

 

[Lilacmoon]

I'm now being bullied openly. Being talked about and having someone who has been bullying me announcing openly they think I've had a mental breakdown. Sad to see this on a site for people contemplating suicide but apparently it's not beneath some people.
This is the third or fourth day in a row. I was hoping this would stop.

Shouldnt happen. Im sorry it does. No one should have a reason to be mean on a site like this. :T here, a hug? if it means anything?

 

[BitterlyAlive]

I'm now being bullied openly. Being talked about and having someone who has been bullying me announcing openly they think I've had a mental breakdown. Sad to see this on a site for people contemplating suicide but apparently it's not beneath some people.
This is the third or fourth day in a row. I was hoping this would stop.

Oh my gosh....what the hell, you don't deserve that. Please report them. If I see anything, I'll report their ass too.

 

[voidman]

I'm now being bullied openly. Being talked about and having someone who has been bullying me announcing openly they think I've had a mental breakdown. Sad to see this on a site for people contemplating suicide but apparently it's not beneath some people.
This is the third or fourth day in a row. I was hoping this would stop.

Im sorry this treatment is happening to you. Obviously the perpetrator has some problems of their own to be bullying someone on this platform. I haven't seen it personally but I would say don't forget to report it to mods.

 

[Meditation guide]

Here is what my bully posted about me in another thread today:
Think she might be going through a mental breakdown atm, at least this is my guess.

Knowing I'm there reading it. Then said
If you want to talk @Meditation guide, feel free to dm me

I'm pretty sure this is bullying? As I said this has been going on every day from this person for 3 or 4 days in a row.

 

[dundyfundy]

See if you can block and ignore them. Report to moderators as well.

This forum should be a safe haven for those who are trying to survive, talk about their feelings, experiences, attempts or ready to go out, this means people should be even more sensitive than usual in how they respond. Let alone such behaviour which is being portrayed towards you is not acceptable anyone in real world.

The person you followed should've had a common courtesy to at least reply and acknowledge. And also put a stop to their mean friends.

Edit:

Here is what my bully posted about me in another thread today:
Think she might be going through a mental breakdown atm, at least this is my guess.

Knowing I'm there reading it. Then said
If you want to talk @Meditation guide, feel free to dm me

I'm pretty sure this is bullying? As I said this has been going on every day from this person for 3 or 4 days in a row.

Stumbled across that thread, not sure how it fits into the whole context, but imho you were quite abrasive towards the original poster and some of the comments in there, and their reply seemed more like a concern rather than a stab. Not sure about what else happened before that of course, as you mentioned this was going on for 3-4 days.