kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
1000011966
Thinking this very rough beach 40 minutes from my house may be the way to go. The rocks around the corner have claimed 30 fisherman's lives washing out to sea.

In NZ firearms are hard to get and hanging scares me so I'm thinking getting blind drunk and going for a swim. Problem is I know SI will be strong and I will probably chicken out 🥲
 
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strangelife

strangelife

Specialist
Feb 16, 2024
357
You live in such a nice place!
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
You live in such a nice place!
Thanks! 40 odd minutes to the west coast and 1 and a half hours to the east! Would love going on beach missions and relaxing by the ocean!

Now after ssri injury I can't relax at all or enjoy the scenery so I mainly drive to them and look at ways I could die 🤣
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,967
It's extreme cruelty to me how people cannot have the option to permanently free themselves from all the suffering in a more peaceful way but anyway I wish you the best and I hope that you find peace eventually.
 
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P

Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,571
Such a beautiful beach and the waves!:heart:

I'm sorry you have to go through this and meds destroyed your life.
 
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R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
3,793
It's a beautiful spot 😍
All the best to you in your plans ❤️
 
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Dliena

Dliena

𝚂𝚂 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚘. 43,53?
Dec 22, 2023
1,889
Such gorgeous spot! I've always loved the beach but anywho I hope you'll be able to get your wish OP.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,020
is a strong method and you may despair when you are at sea.
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
is a strong method and you may despair when you are at sea.
Yeah that's what I worry about, I'm not sure I'll have the courage to take the plunge.
 
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theboy

theboy

Illuminated
Jul 15, 2022
3,020
Yeah that's what I worry about, I'm not sure I'll have the courage to take the plunge.
there are more methods that are available but I hope you find a way to get ahead why do you want ctb? pm if you want to
 
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PetrichorBirth

PetrichorBirth

Student
Mar 5, 2024
163
May i ask, what scares you about hanging?
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
there are more methods that are available but I hope you find a way to get ahead why do you want ctb? pm if you want to
Unfortunately I can't PM unless you can message me?

Up until 8 months ago I was happy but had recently stopped ssris that I was taking for Anxiety and then I started a new job and started taking meds 2 months later from the time I stopped. and it has caused likely permanent anhedonia and sexual dysfunction.

Can't feel alcohol or any substance, no happy emotions only negative 🥲 extreme fatigue. It's horrible
May i ask, what scares you about hanging?
I guess it's more the finding the place to do it, getting the rope and making sure it's tied correctly, I have a partial set up in my wardrobe but I think full suspension would be easier?

I'm basically very scared to go through with it even tho I know I need to do it.
 
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Mayonaise

Mayonaise

Burning up in speed
Dec 8, 2023
339
Magnificent scenery.
Sorry to bother you, but have you been diagnosed with 'permanent anhedonia' or is it just a conclusion of yours? It's always heartbreaking to hear such stories
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
Magnificent scenery.
Sorry to bother you, but have you been diagnosed with 'permanent anhedonia' or is it just a conclusion of yours? It's always heartbreaking to hear such stories
I've had pssd for 6 months now with no improvements 🥲 so anhedonia and sexual dysfunction. It's definitely heartbreaking when you realise it could be permanent. I can't get a doctors diagnosis they just say depression and want to give other medication.

I wasn't depressed before and only using for anxiety which was dumb. Oh well.
 
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Mayonaise

Mayonaise

Burning up in speed
Dec 8, 2023
339
I've had pssd for 6 months now with no improvements 🥲 so anhedonia and sexual dysfunction. It's definitely heartbreaking when you realise it could be permanent. I can't get a doctors diagnosis they just say depression and want to give other medication.

I wasn't depressed before and only using for anxiety which was dumb. Oh well.
I'm not familiar with PSSD and barely know what it is, but you're not the only one in this community to be suffering from it. I didn't know that you could get chronic anhedonia either.
I only wish you could wait a little more and see if the symptoms can somehow get better, but it's your body and your choice. Whatever you do, please accept some hugs from me
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Forest Wanderer
Mar 12, 2024
548
I am 90% sure you'd fail CTBing this way. Drowning is a horrible way to die and you'd almost certainly fight your way back to the surface at some point.

I wont suggest what method is best for you, but I am personally going for jump or train.
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
I'm not familiar with PSSD and barely know what it is, but you're not the only one in this community to be suffering from it. I didn't know that you could get chronic anhedonia either.
I only wish you could wait a little more and see if the symptoms can somehow get better, but it's your body and your choice. Whatever you do, please accept some hugs from me
It's horrible and than you 🥰 basically affects all your pleasure sensors so makes it impossible to have happy feelings or feel alcohol and similar 🥲 they don't know the cause or cure... some people report getting better over years and some don't. Also low libido which is horrible.

Makes it hard for daily life. I'm reasonably well off so I may just sell my assets and travel to see if I can get better. Will see how I get on if SN was available easily I probably wouldn't be able to resist
 
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tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
689
It's horrible and than you 🥰 basically affects all your pleasure sensors so makes it impossible to have happy feelings or feel alcohol and similar 🥲 they don't know the cause or cure... some people report getting better over years and some don't. Also low libido which is horrible.

Makes it hard for daily life. I'm reasonably well off so I may just sell my assets and travel to see if I can get better. Will see how I get on if SN was available easily I probably wouldn't be able to resist
I felt the same for all these years and I live half detached from all the things I do.
People don't also like this and I met a lot of sociopaths who tried to get advantage over me, insane mfs. I live with a little hope of being happy again though, you never know.
 
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Mayonaise

Mayonaise

Burning up in speed
Dec 8, 2023
339
It's horrible and than you 🥰 basically affects all your pleasure sensors so makes it impossible to have happy feelings or feel alcohol and similar 🥲 they don't know the cause or cure... some people report getting better over years and some don't. Also low libido which is horrible.

Makes it hard for daily life. I'm reasonably well off so I may just sell my assets and travel to see if I can get better. Will see how I get on if SN was available easily I probably wouldn't be able to resist
Thank you for explaining this to me, I wasn't aware of how awful it could be. Since you mention traveling, I suggest visiting the Canary Islands and Algarve (southern Portugal).
They're pretty far away from NZ but if you like beaches/ocean scenery you'll definitely like it. Some more hugs for you
 
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kfad95

kfad95

Member
Mar 2, 2024
60
I am 90% sure you'd fail CTBing this way. Drowning is a horrible way to die and you'd almost certainly fight your way back to the surface at some point.

I wont suggest what method is best for you, but I am personally going for jump or train.
Yeah the surf has multiple rips amd basically drags people out to sea, bit yes it would be difficult to get the courage to get in and try 😬
 

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