Discussion Maybe it's my destiny to CTB

[Oneness]

Life often feels like a script I never wrote. My parents, thoughts, desires – none were my choice. And If thoughts dictate actions, then it follows that all my actions are predetermined as well. The yearning to fade away – is it fate or choice, what do you think?

 

[cryvinglightning]

there's a quote that i was thinking of getting tattooed. it's from mikhail bulgakov's "master i margarita".

"Annushka has already bought the sunflower oil, and has not only bought it, but has already spilled it."

it means that, no matter what, your destiny has been predetermined. there's not much you can do to change the outcome of your life. from a purely biological standpoint, the body does everything in it's power to keep us alive. so you can see catching the bus as an ultimate act of rebellion.
kurt cobain wrote in his last note that it's better to burn out than fade away. don't just fade in the background. keep your affairs in order.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I definitely think there's some truth to this.
I've been mentally ill for most of my life and it never gets better but worse.
So it's definitely my destiny to ctb.

 

[FlyAwayHoney]

I relate to you on this. I have always felt since I was young that I was "meant" to CTB. That I was just one of those people in the world whose path leads there. It's hard for me to imagine a life long lived.

I don't really know what I believe in as far as fate and destiny. I had a conversation once about suicide with someone close to me though. They are not religious, but they are spiritual and believe in karma and a natural flow of the universe, that everything is how it is supposed to be. They said they felt as if killing yourself was "against the will of the universe". That when people chose death, they are going against everything that is meant to be. I told him if he feels that way, that people are all on their own predetermined paths, would it not be true that possibly some folks are just naturally ingrained to go down that path? That suicide is just what fate has in store for them?

It was hard for him, but he ultimately kind of agreed that I had a point.

 

[Oneness]

I definitely think there's some truth to this.
I've been mentally ill for most of my life and it never gets better but worse.
So it's definitely my destiny to ctb.

I feel this way too. I didn't choose to have my mental illness. Genes and my upbringing caused my depression. And my mental illness is one of the main reasons I'm going to CTB, So logically it's my destiny to CTB.

I relate to you on this. I have always felt since I was young that I was "meant" to CTB. That I was just one of those people in the world whose path leads there. It's hard for me to imagine a life long lived.

I don't really know what I believe in as far as fate and destiny. I had a conversation once about suicide with someone close to me though. They are not religious, but they are spiritual and believe in karma and a natural flow of the universe, that everything is how it is supposed to be. They said they felt as if killing yourself was "against the will of the universe". That when people chose death, they are going against everything that is meant to be. I told him if he feels that way, that people are all on their own predetermined paths, would it not be true that possibly some folks are just naturally ingrained to go down that path? That suicide is just what fate has in store for them?

It was hard for him, but he ultimately kind of agreed that I had a point.

It's intriguing to consider the notion that the universe possesses a will, and ending one's life would go against that will. In my opinion, if the universe indeed has a will, then individuals catching the bus align with the universe's intentions.