Maybe there isn't even anything magical about HIM, or about our relationship. But even though I know i have a purpose in life, and I have so many great blessings, I just can't fucking bring myself to care. Even the people and goals in my life that I rationally know are the most precious and important to me, they just feel... gross. I feel gross when I contemplate the idea of continued life.
Supposedly, I should be able to get the fentanyl again tomorrow. From there, I guess I'll give one last shot at reaching out to HIM, and maybe the frustration and sadness will drive me to finally chomp down on all 20-30 m30 pills and drift into a forever sleep.
Supposedly, I should be able to get the fentanyl again tomorrow. From there, I guess I'll give one last shot at reaching out to HIM, and maybe the frustration and sadness will drive me to finally chomp down on all 20-30 m30 pills and drift into a forever sleep.
