May try to jump tonight

[Jolene40]

Well if you attach a weight to one of your legs, you are pretty much fucked. When you panic and try to swim to the surface, you wont succeed.

That just sounds torturous and horrific. There must be easier ways. What torture

 

[Soul]

@Cheesedoodle1, how are you doing?
Here are fresh hugs xx

 

[GeorgeJL]

I changed gears. I never drove to the bridge because I knew I wouldn't be able to jump. I switched gears, I was considering the SN method. I ordered SN, primperan, and tagamet. Work and life is becoming unbearable, I hope everything is in by Friday so I can do it this weekend.

That's a much better method jumping. And those heights looked crazy.

 

[not_a_robot]

it's a courageous way to go. too courageous for me. I'm a chicken, chickens know they can't fly lol.

good luck to you no matter what.

 

[GeorgeJL]

it's a courageous way to go. too courageous for me. I'm a chicken, chickens know they can't fly lol.

good luck to you no matter what.

Jumpers play Russian Roulette with their dignity, I don't think that is courageous.

 

[not_a_robot]

thanks for representing the status quo.

 

[GeorgeJL]

thanks for representing the status quo.

That's what it may seem like from the surface, but if you actually dig into what I actually believe you will find that it's far from the status quo.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

@Cheesedoodle1, how are you doing?
Here are fresh hugs xx

Not well, every day I get worse, more upset that I'm alive. I have everything ordered to do the SN method and I have been reading the SN megathread and I'm hopeful it works. The acid reducer is at my house now, sodium nitrite should be in tomorrow and the primperan should be in Thursday. I fully intend on taking the primperan through out the day Friday and only eating breakfast. Once the family goes to bed Friday night I plan on taking a large dose of the primperan and 20grams of SN. I would love to be gone by the early hours of Saturday morning. I can update this thread so everyone can be in the loop if in worked. Based on reading the megathread I'm hopeful it works.

 

[Soul]

... It's reassuring to feel well prepared, so I'm glad you have that. I wish you felt able to give your boss and/or your wife and/or a doctor a chance to help you get your life to where you feel comfortable in it. I hope you choose what's really the best for you, and I wish you well whatever you decide.

 

[Bulletwbttrflywings]

Not well, every day I get worse, more upset that I'm alive. I have everything ordered to do the SN method and I have been reading the SN megathread and I'm hopeful it works. The acid reducer is at my house now, sodium nitrite should be in tomorrow and the primperan should be in Thursday. I fully intend on taking the primperan through out the day Friday and only eating breakfast. Once the family goes to bed Friday night I plan on taking a large dose of the primperan and 20grams of SN. I would love to be gone by the early hours of Saturday morning. I can update this thread so everyone can be in the loop if in worked. Based on reading the megathread I'm hopeful it works.

Hugs...

Perhaps doing this away from family so they may not find you like that would be best? I know the pain is great, but having your family find you in such state may create a poor experience for them and having remember you in such a way would hinder their healing process... just a thought.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

Hugs...

Perhaps doing this away from family so they may not find you like that would be best? I know the pain is great, but having your family find you in such state may create a poor experience for them and having remember you in such a way would hinder their healing process... just a thought.

I really don't have another place to do it. I a. Getting extremely anxious for Friday to get here. I hope I don't have any major work projects or issues until then. I just want lay under the radar at work the rest of the week end be gone by Saturday morning. I know I chickened out of jumping but every day I get worse and I think there is a real good chance I do this. I have been tracking the shipments really close and I can't wait for them to get here. Still on track for the meto today and SN tomorrow.

 

[LastFlowers]

Jumpers play Russian Roulette with their dignity, I don't think that is courageous.

You mean at the risk of failing and ending up paralyzed or brain dead?

 

[GeorgeJL]

You mean at the risk of failing and ending up paralyzed or brain dead?

Yeah that, but also if they are in pain even if it's just a few seconds.

 

[LastFlowers]

Yeah that, but also if they are in pain even if it's just a few seconds.

Hmm, I've been thinking jumping is my go-to. Are there not times where it is instant?

I would prefer that my body was destroyed enough that it would prevent any talk of an open casket.
I'm not so sure my words alone would pursuade anyone.
I just don't want anyone looking at me in death who I was avoiding in life.
I also have resentment towards this "human shell" and would like very much to shatter it.
If I had a self destruct button, I would push it.
I definitely want to avoid ending up worse than I am however.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

SN will definitely be in today. If the meto would be too I'd do it tonight. Should be in tomorrow. Maybe I'll fast tomorrow and do a stat does of meto Thursday night with the SN.

I feel like I have 2 options, win the lottery or leave this world. I have been buying some lottery tickets and praying I win. I don't feel like there is a God since I didn't win. It would save a life.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

Both will be in today! I'm fasting the rest of the day. I hope this works because I'm done living. I'm planning on taking 3 doses or meto at 11 pm, the acid reducer at 11:30, and th SN at midnight. I'll live update the thread as things happen, god I hope this works.
Since everything came in so quick and I didn't win the lottery I take it as a sign from God he wants me to do it. I'm so determined, every work problem today has me feeling like I can't wait for tonight to do this so I'm gone for good.

 

[jake3d]

While I still do not agree with your motive... keep us updated.

 

[Rukia]

While I still do not agree with your motive... keep us updated.

My thoughts exactly...

 

[GeorgeJL]

Hmm, I've been thinking jumping is my go-to. Are there not times where it is instant?

I would prefer that my body was destroyed enough that it would prevent any talk of an open casket.
I'm not so sure my words alone would pursuade anyone.
I just don't want anyone looking at me in death who I was avoiding in life.
I also have resentment towards this "human shell" and would like very much to shatter it.
If I had a self destruct button, I would push it.
I definitely want to avoid ending up worse than I am however.

I am not convinced that jumping is painless because there will be cells left with oxygen, blood, and neurotransmitters. Pain is not only processed by a module in the brain but also pain is localized in each cell.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

I tried to fast all day but I caved and had some fruit salad. Still 9 hours until I plan on doing it. I pray I have the ability to do it tonight. I can't go on another day. Life feels like hell, I really really REALLY want to exit want be free of it.

 

[KnightOfEnceladus]

@GeorgeJL: okay, yes, nociceptors exist in most cells, but that's not the same thing as the experience we think of as pain. Those signals need to be routed to central dispatch in order to be "interpreted," don't they? And certainly since the brain is the center of affective/emotional processing, nociception alone doesn't necessarily qualify as pain per se.

 

[Cheesedoodle 1]

Fuck. Only the sodium nitrite is here. Not the meto. Fuck fuck fuck

 

[jake3d]

Guess you're gonna have to live one more day then.

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Fuck. Only the sodium nitrite is here. Not the meto. Fuck fuck fuck

Don't panic, just slow down. That was not the day, it'd be useless to do it in these conditions.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Fuck. Only the sodium nitrite is here. Not the meto. Fuck fuck fuck

Maybe that's a sign its not your time yet! Please consider what we are saying. you haven't even explored all the other options everyone posted.

 

[jake3d]

I agree with the above. OP doesn't have any kind of incurable health issue, he's just stuck in a bad place because of job demands. There is always a way out of that. Should listen to someone that screwed up his life completely while a lot younger and with full potential. I pushed myself too hard, beyond what i knew i could handle, and i ended up making some stupid decisions while tired as fuck that irrecoverably damaged my ears and my nerves. This shouldn't have happened, no way in hell.

He's not in this bad of a shape yet. His kids still need their daddy. I was opposed to this motive from the start, but each one with their own.

 

[Rukia]

@Cheesedoodle 1 how are you doing?

 

[dandan]

Is it wrong that this thread made me laugh twice now?

No, I just wonder what was funny for you? Without being disrespectful I did too, was it the same thing s?


Now, cheesedoodle , I'm an it guy suffering like you, I worry too much for I'm in a new automation project and if I can't make it I might feel like ctbing too, cause I almost got nothing else going on.

I'm sorry it's so difficult, it was for me too.
I've got the Nitrogen method, sodium cyanide and N. I got tired of Survivor instinct so I decided to give life one more chance.

I'm 39 almost. Got no wife no kids no girlfriend no savings no house not much but I'll try one more thing, one more time

Wish us both the best at obtaining our goals