pepperfarmer
Member
- Aug 31, 2026
- 10
Growing up horribly didn't make me into a tragic victim, it just made me a horrible person. That's just what it is. It's what it's always been like. And for what?
There's nothing good about any of this. There was nothing good, or beautiful, or tragic about it. Everyone around me sucked. So did I. I'm not any different than everyone around me, or the kinds of people that fucked over other people here. Years of misery and scraping the barrel like a fucking pig and it all means nothing. I wish I would've had the decency of just cutting myself to deal with it like a decent person would've. Soldier it all with no release and CTB with a tragic monologue about how society is horrible or a tragic rant about how I'm a 'burden' for existing or whatnot. People deal with shit infinitely worse and still gracefully take it out on themselves and never do anything bad of note. I can't even be a victim right.
There's no honor, or peace, or sense to any of this. It just fucking sucks. Abuse sucks. Isolation sucks. Grooming sucks. Being a victim sucks. Being a bad person sucks. I can't even say I was just a product of my upbringing because other people go through worse and turn out better. This all just sucks, and I'm glad I'll die one day, whether I do it myself or not.
There's nothing good about any of this. There was nothing good, or beautiful, or tragic about it. Everyone around me sucked. So did I. I'm not any different than everyone around me, or the kinds of people that fucked over other people here. Years of misery and scraping the barrel like a fucking pig and it all means nothing. I wish I would've had the decency of just cutting myself to deal with it like a decent person would've. Soldier it all with no release and CTB with a tragic monologue about how society is horrible or a tragic rant about how I'm a 'burden' for existing or whatnot. People deal with shit infinitely worse and still gracefully take it out on themselves and never do anything bad of note. I can't even be a victim right.
There's no honor, or peace, or sense to any of this. It just fucking sucks. Abuse sucks. Isolation sucks. Grooming sucks. Being a victim sucks. Being a bad person sucks. I can't even say I was just a product of my upbringing because other people go through worse and turn out better. This all just sucks, and I'm glad I'll die one day, whether I do it myself or not.
