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CowsAreCool

Student
Sep 21, 2021
149
I was considering the possible ways to make suicide look like an accident. I cannot leave my family with the pain of knowing that I left intentionally. I cannot have my friends know I took the easy way out. I have a few ideas

1) Crash my car. Floor it to its top speed and veer off into some trees. Do it in a wooded, sparsely populated area near my home which is known for racing. Do it late at night so I am certain there will be nobody around. I know of a few cases of this working successfully. A girl I loosely knew crashed her car going full speed before school, and it was labelled an accident, only to be later ruled a suicide after a note was found. I wouldn't leave a note, and would brag about speeding to friends for backstory.
2) There's a beautiful park near my home. 200 foot gorge. I would trip.
3) Drink myself to death. Alcoholism runs in my family, and its an issue I have had in the past.
4) autoerotic asphyxiation..... lmao jk
5) provoke or pay some drug dealer or criminal to shoot and kill me. There's a sketchy gas station near where I live that's been hit a few times this year. I'll apply to work nights there. Then, I will do something stupid and die looking like a "hero" the next time its robbed.

My main fear is messing up, and getting disabled.
Any other suggestions?
 
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PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
None of those that you listed is guaranteed to look like an accident. Even #1 you risk failure, unless you plan to not wear a seatbelt, or straight up drive into a tree(which defeats the purpose and won't look like an accident). Even then, like you said yourself, you risk getting disabled. You might not even get a chance to ctb anymore.

It's also not the easy way out. Making the decision to end it all, and following through with it, is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do in someone's lifetime.

I know family is one of the reasons stopping me from ctb, but if you really think about it, will it matter? I know I'll be dead and I won't even be able to think about this anymore. At least that's what I'll say to myself to try to override the survival instinct when the time comes. Fuck it if people think I'm selfish. I'll be selfish until the very end then, they don't understand the pain and suffering I have to deal with every single day
 
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CowsAreCool

Student
Sep 21, 2021
149
None of those that you listed is guaranteed to look like an accident. Even #1 you risk failure, unless you plan to not wear a seatbelt, or straight up drive into a tree(which defeats the purpose and won't look like an accident).

It's also not the easy way out. Making the decision to end it all, and following through with it, is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do in someone's lifetime.

I know family is one of the reasons stopping me from ctb, but if you really think about it, will it matter? I know I'll be dead and I won't even be able to think about this anymore. At least that's what I'll say to myself to try to override the survival instinct when the time comes
I won't be able to do it, because I know how it would affect them, and I cannot do that to them, even if I wont be around to see it. I know they would have a much easier time getting over my death if they though it was an act of god, and not a rational decision I made.

And idk. My car can go 120mph, and if I veer into the woods doing 120, I doubt I would survive even with a seatbelt. I could pick a snowy day to make it look like it just slid. Either way, its easy to lose control of a car at high speeds.

I agree it isnt the "easy way out", but society tends to look at it pretty harshly. It would instantly change the way everyone I know perceives me. I would rather die the way I am, than die with some huge secret I've been hiding (that I'm suicidal).
 
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PeacefulTonic

Enlightened
Aug 10, 2021
1,006
Is there a reason why you're suicidal? Could anything help you change your mind? Or have all options been exhausted?
 
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CowsAreCool

Student
Sep 21, 2021
149
Is there a reason why you're suicidal? Could anything help you change your mind? Or have all options been exhausted?
It has been an on/off thing for the last few years. I have serious anxiety problems which I haven't been able to fix. I've been comfortable the last few months, as I live with my parents and siblings and we get along great. It works for now, but eventually my siblings will move out and go to college, and I will grow older. Its okay living with your parents in your early 20s, but it cant last. I've tried college three times, and each time I have been forced to drop out and move back home. I get severe panic attacks, and I am completely reliant on my parents for support. I've tried therapy, and it only helps to a certain extent. My parents are both strongly against SSRI's, and I have no way of obtaining them behind their back (I am on their healthcare, and have trouble holding jobs)

So I am not unhappy. I just see no scenario where I am able to live a fulfilling life. My anxiety gets to the point where everything is a chore. I'm not able to hold steady relationships. All my goals are fairly unreachable.

So I am certain I will CTB. It's just a matter of when. And I would prefer it look like an accident when I do
 
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toforigivelife

Arcanist
Jul 5, 2021
493
It has been an on/off thing for the last few years. I have serious anxiety problems which I haven't been able to fix. I've been comfortable the last few months, as I live with my parents and siblings and we get along great. It works for now, but eventually my siblings will move out and go to college, and I will grow older. Its okay living with your parents in your early 20s, but it cant last. I've tried college three times, and each time I have been forced to drop out and move back home. I get severe panic attacks, and I am completely reliant on my parents for support. I've tried therapy, and it only helps to a certain extent. My parents are both strongly against SSRI's, and I have no way of obtaining them behind their back (I am on their healthcare, and have trouble holding jobs)

So I am not unhappy. I just see no scenario where I am able to live a fulfilling life. My anxiety gets to the point where everything is a chore. I'm not able to hold steady relationships. All my goals are fairly unreachable.

So I am certain I will CTB. It's just a matter of when. And I would prefer it look like an accident when I do
Having someone shoot and kill you will leave your parents with dealing with your death and having to wait for police to catch your killer and then having to go through a murder trial on top of everything else.

It would be great to be able to make our deaths look like natural causes, it would be great to make it look like we went peacefully in our sleep.

So far I haven't found a way to do that, unfortunately.
 
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callme

callme

I'm a loose cannon - I bang all the time.
Aug 15, 2021
1,234
Kcl injection must be your sure bet in this case. It makes death look like a heart attack, but still with IV lines being used, they may get a hint ot was intentional. You also may require assistance, because it is a little hard to set up.
 
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odradek

odradek

Mage
Sep 16, 2021
557
Making a suicide look like an accident is very difficult. People have made some very good points in here. I'll just add for your car accident plan, not only does it risk failure and injury but the first thing forensics will look for is whether there are any tire skid marks. People in car accidents tend to hit the breaks so if those signs aren't present they'll most like rule it a suicide. Sorry you're in this position friend. There are no easy answers in this position sadly.
 
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BeautifulMosaics

BeautifulMosaics

Specialist
Aug 15, 2021
310
Are your parents so strongly against SSRIs that if you wanted to try them they wouldn't allow it? Because medication can definitely help anxiety symptoms, I have experienced this myself.
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
skydiving accident?
But you would have to learn to skydive for people to let you do it on your own.
 
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angrywarhol2021

Member
Oct 27, 2021
14
This is the dream, isn't it - CTB but everyone thinks its natural or accident. Good luck. I'm looking for this too right now.
 
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