making peace with my death

[lostlove]

i believe i must ctb. i am very very tired. my life has not gone well and i do not have the energy to fight anymore. i feel my life is devoid of anything that might give it meaning.

but at the same time, there is still some part of me that fears death.

i am worried that dying will be painful, despite planning on taking N. i am also worried at the last moment i will change my mind and it will be too late, or that i will live and suffer brain damage from the attempt.

i am also worried i will get to bolivia and be unable to acquire N. going to bolivia will take most of my savings so if i cannot find N there i will be completely stranded.

 

[Infinitespace_]

if you take N your death will happen in sleep, there is nothing to fear really

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Nembutal becomes an anesthetic in large doses as those used for self deliverance. Plus it knocks you unconscious . only when conscious can anyone feel pain.

 

[Gangrel]

locals say it's becoming harder and harder to get N, plus you need a false prescription or bribing, if it takes most of your savings and i think that's a very bad idea to go there

 

[pleroman]

locals say it's becoming harder and harder to get N, plus you need a false prescription or bribing, if it takes most of your savings and i think that's a very bad idea to go there

Damn, anywhere I can read more details on this? Have most people not been able to get it in South America lately?