Discussion making "friends" on this site?

[asphyxiangel]

How do you guys feel about initiating friendships with people on this site? do you think it could be beneficial (for one or both parties) or more detrimental in the end?
There are a lot of people here ive had the urge to reach out to with either similar stories to mine or just people i think i could connect with, but at the end of the day we are all suicidal, and i would hate to get close to someone and find out that they did go through with their plan. let alone multiple people?
what do you think? has anyone here ever had any successful friendships from SaSu ?

also, on topic - feel free to PM me at any time about anything at all. I'll always reply! :)

 

[anhedonya]

I feel that it's good to form relationships even if not everyone will stick around. I would view it as beneficial and it can be really useful in making someone feel human. It's only natural to miss people you cared about when they're gone though, and the hard part for me would be having to stand by and do nothing about it. I agree we have the right to decide if we want to be here or not, but I just can't engage with directly giving someone methods or wishing them well wishes when they 'catch the bus'. That part would be extremely difficult for me. I've never been a bystander and I don't intend to start now.

As for success with this- I've never had a successful friend on here as of yet. I did speak to one person on more private terms for a few days but think I freaked them out when I suggested we speak elsewhere since SaSu chat is horrific to traverse on my phone. Haven't heard from them since. Either that or they like you feel that it's detrimental to become close to people on here & disengaged because of it.

I wish I could meet friends here though! I honestly really like talking to people

 

[Saturn_]

I feel that it's good to form relationships even if not everyone will stick around. I would view it as beneficial and it can be really useful in making someone feel human. It's only natural to miss people you cared about when they're gone though, and the hard part for me would be having to stand by and do nothing about it. I agree we have the right to decide if we want to be here or not, but I just can't engage with directly giving someone methods or wishing them well wishes when they 'catch the bus'. That part would be extremely difficult for me. I've never been a bystander and I don't intend to start now.

As for success with this- I've never had a successful friend on here as of yet. I did speak to one person on more private terms for a few days but think I freaked them out when I suggested we speak elsewhere since SaSu chat is horrific to traverse on my phone. Haven't heard from them since. Either that or they like you feel that it's detrimental to become close to people on here & disengaged because of it.

I wish I could meet friends here though! I honestly really like talking to people

I feel the same as you on wishing people well when they CTB... I'm not against it but I'd personally feel extremely guilty directly engaging in that, as if I had blood on my hands from that interaction. I understand that they'd pretty much certainly go through with it regardless of my involvement but it still scares me a lot.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I made a close friend on the subreddit incarnation. That was 9 years ago. So I think you should go for it. The tendency towards transience is a natural force all relationships have to contend with anyways.

 

[LaughingGoat]

I think it could be fine as long as you temper your expectations and are cautious in terms of managing your own mental health. People here like you said may not be there long if they ctb and even from an emotional standpoint if they are struggling with their own issues and pull back from communicating. I think if you go into it with the mindset of wanting to get to know people and be open to relationships while not becoming fully attached, you'll be alright. Obviously easier said than done usually in life, but since it wouldn't be face-to-face, it's probably doable.

 

[Shinobu]

I dont think its bad too make friends on here. Might as well enjoy your time with like minded people until the end yk what i mean?

 

[Jorms_McGander]

I feel the same as you on wishing people well when they CTB... I'm not against it but I'd personally feel extremely guilty directly engaging in that, as if I had blood on my hands from that interaction. I understand that they'd pretty much certainly go through with it regardless of my involvement but it still scares me a lot.

It's a new thing to process alright. I'm aware I'm not as young as I was in 2000, and I was a precocious youth, personalities are complicated and interactions are exponentially moreso

But yea my goodness it feels almost like responsibility every time I talk about how my life has gone and I am aware younger people may use my story for their own ends once I release it

And then knowing that myself as a younger person would have been so fucking mad, and is inside me currently mad, at being patronised like that, as if one old loser's shitty story now somehow defines his own life and suffering

It's a part of this that I was not expecting to play such an active role in my conscience, and I can't deny it's there. I also feel that such an acknowledgement is part of my own maturity and maybe younger me wouldn't be able to look at all these moving parts without getting a fingertip pinched...

It's certainly unexpected growth in a context where I wasn't expecting that.




Edit: this part below I wrote in reply to the OP


I think that friendships here are feasible if a person is emotionally aware and skilled, I think that is kind of self explanatory.

A lot of friends I've had are temporary. It doesn't bother me. My location changes and so do my relationships. There are many people who during periods of my life I spoke to every day and worked and played beside, for a year or two years we were as brothers and now neither of us could even say the other is alive or not.

I think there's a lot to gain from being able to have completely open conversations about suicide and that friendships are as broad or as narrow as you wish them to be.

Some of my friends might as well be a chess AI because all I know is their playstyle online but we've been playing for years without a single word exchanged.

An open mind is always helpful. An enquiring heart perhaps.

Thanks for asking an interesting question

 

[hopeless08]

How do you guys feel about initiating friendships with people on this site? do you think it could be beneficial (for one or both parties) or more detrimental in the end?
There are a lot of people here ive had the urge to reach out to with either similar stories to mine or just people i think i could connect with, but at the end of the day we are all suicidal, and i would hate to get close to someone and find out that they did go through with their plan. let alone multiple people?
what do you think? has anyone here ever had any successful friendships from SaSu ?

also, on topic - feel free to PM me at any time about anything at all. I'll always reply! :)

It's actually bitter sweet to develop a bond/friendship with someone on here.
It's really great to have someone you care about and can really trust to tell your deepest feelings, you find solace in that friendship but it's hard to hear that they are suffering.
I actually developed a close friendship with someone on here, she was an amazing person, a really good soul but she ended up ctbing with SN. She posted her journey, her last moments. The last thing she said was "I just vomited some of the SN and then she stopped posting,
I guess she succeeded, I hope she did and is in peace because she truly deserved it but I missed her so much it hurt me, I still find myself ready our messages, so it's bittersweet.

 

[asphyxiangel]

I actually developed a close friendship with someone on here, she was an amazing person, a really good soul but she ended up ctbing with SN. She posted her journey, her last moments. The last thing she said was "I just vomited some of the SN and then she stopped posting,
I guess she succeeded, I hope she did and is in peace because she truly deserved it but I missed her so much it hurt me, I still find myself ready our messages, so it's bittersweet.

does this happen to be rob? i remember seeing her last post and going through the comments.

 

[vitbar]

I would and have. The main person took her own life and it was painful. We'd not been friends a long time, but I still miss her.

 

[hopeless08]

does this happen to be rob? i remember seeing her last post and going through the comments.

No she was skeletonfish
May she rest in peace