Making excuses to extend my ctb date

[Liebestod]

So originally I was thinking to ctb next year. I have a gun and iso and am planning to use both. But for some reason it has now dawned on me that I want to use a handgun instead of my carbine rifle. The problem is I'm not 21 yet so I'd have to wait close to two years in order to get a handgun. I'm willing to extend my date by two to three years because of that but I know deep down I'm just coping. Both guns will do the job and I just want a handgun because it's more convenient but otherwise I think I'm just coping and avoiding ctb even though I wanted to for the longest time and now that I have everything I need I'm becoming hesitant.

 

[LastNite]

It doesnt really seem like an "excuse." Thats just your inner self not wanting things to end the way they are. If you really feel like you dont want to do it then simply dont. Pressuring or shaming yourself wont help. In the end it's your own decision to make and you should make that decision in a clear state of mind.

 

[Nightfoot]

There's nothing wrong with putting it off. You can always do it later if you want, but it sounds like right now you don't and that's okay. Things may change for the better. Maybe you still have some hope that they can, they just can't if you're dead.