Makes me so sad…

[emgrl]

I get so sad when my family gets frustrated with me and won't speak to me. I'm doing the best I can, all it does is push me closer to the edge.

 

[Hope:-)]

I'm sorry to hear that. Why aren't they talking to you unless it's too personal? xxx

 

[emgrl]

I'm sorry to hear that. Why aren't they talking to you unless it's too personal? xxx

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that some people would rather just avoid things than try to understand what others are going through. It's often just the way that humans are. I'm sorry that you suffer so much. It must be awful what you have to experience.

 

[leeloosnow]

absolutely relate. it doesn't matter how many things i do right, how perfect, how presentable, how much i'm there for them, what i do or gifts or any of that shit is dwarfed by the times i've been an inconvenience to them. it's almost as if they never shoulda shat me out...

 

[emgrl]

I'm sorry, that is horrible. No one should feel like they're being taken advantage of, just to get kicked down.

I do feel for my fam, though. I wouldn't want to see my sister in the condition I'm in. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to see me like this. If I could help it, I would.

Traumas are scary, and I don't know if I'll ever go back to who I was before. All I know is, I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's more than physical pain or agony. It's beyond words.

 

[tiny_dancer]

I'm so sorry you are being treated that way by your family, on top of dealing with the panic attacks. It's so isolating to be unwell, in addition to the fact that your loved ones don't understand and then distance themselves. Although my issues are different, I can relate…some of my family have been really supportive, but some have completely distanced themselves. It's like they only want to deal with you when you're a-ok. It's not your fault that you can't just magically be better and it's unfortunate that they don't understand.

 

[Pluto]

This is an awful situation, but sometimes it is better to find support in groups elsewhere. As much as it would be ideal to have a family that is understanding, it isn't always so convenient.

There are several possibilities why this is happening. In a worst case scenario, the family is actually to blame for some of the trauma and has an agenda to cover it up by either ignoring you, or dismissing you as the identified patient.

In a less nefarious case, they might genuinely have no idea to help and are clutching at straws. If their efforts are harming you and you feel your state is harming them, it's proof of the need to look at other ways of being supported. There are certainly others in this world going through the same thing, so you're never alone.

 

[emgrl]

I'm so sorry you are being treated that way by your family, on top of dealing with the panic attacks. It's so isolating to be unwell, in addition to the fact that your loved ones don't understand and then distance themselves. Although my issues are different, I can relate…some of my family have been really supportive, but some have completely distanced themselves. It's like they only want to deal with you when you're a-ok. It's not your fault that you can't just magically be better and it's unfortunate that they don't understand.

I know that my sister doesn't mean it, she has a family with two kids… she does the best she can, and we speak about how I feel bad. It's more my mother. I would just think she'd have more compassion for me, instead, it's just so cold and harsh. Maybe it's her not knowing how to deal with me? I'm not sure, it just makes me feel uneasy and well, sad.

This is an awful situation, but sometimes it is better to find support in groups elsewhere. As much as it would be ideal to have a family that is understanding, it isn't always so convenient.

There are several possibilities why this is happening. In a worst case scenario, the family is actually to blame for some of the trauma and has an agenda to cover it up by either ignoring you, or dismissing you as the identified patient.

In a less nefarious case, they might genuinely have no idea to help and are clutching at straws. If their efforts are harming you and you feel your state is harming them, it's proof of the need to look at other ways of being supported. There are certainly others in this world going through the same thing, so you're never alone.

It's the latter, they know it's not them. I know it's not them.

They were (are?) very supportive in the beginning.

To be honest, I welcome the peace. I don't want to see texts from them every day. It would be fine if it was because they thought I was doing well, not that they're upset with me… if that makes any sense?

 

[chaosandquiet]

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

I feel this 100%. Especially the whole "get better" thing when they don't even know what the problems are. I'm really sorry. Hugs to you

I'm sorry, that is horrible. No one should feel like they're being taken advantage of, just to get kicked down.

I do feel for my fam, though. I wouldn't want to see my sister in the condition I'm in. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to see me like this. If I could help it, I would.

Traumas are scary, and I don't know if I'll ever go back to who I was before. All I know is, I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's more than physical pain or agony. It's beyond words.

Sorry to post twice, I should have read the whole thread first. But, shit, you are literally taking the words right out of my mouth. Trauma is a beast. No one knows what you're going through but you.

 

[theboy]

It is difficult to understand and comfort a person who suffers from constant extreme sadness. Maybe their intention is to help you but they don't know how.

 

[emgrl]

I feel this 100%. Especially the whole "get better" thing when they don't even know what the problems are. I'm really sorry. Hugs to you

Sorry to post twice, I should have read the whole thread first. But, shit, you are literally taking the words right out of my mouth. Trauma is a beast. No one knows what you're going through but you.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this too. It's so hard. I'm here for you if you ever feel like talking. You're not alone, hun ♡

It is difficult to understand and comfort a person who suffers from constant extreme sadness. Maybe their intention is to help you but they don't know how.

We're all doing our best ♡

I guess it's hard to explain… even harder to live through.

 

[NoLightRemains]

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

Sorry that your family is distancing from you. Does it feel like they are giving up on you?

I can relate a lot to what you say. My family seems very hurt seeing me as a shell of my former self. They try to ask how I'm doing all the time, and I wish I had something to tell them that wasn't a complete lie. I feel very ashamed just existing around them at this point.

I'd like to believe your family cares about you and they just don't know what to do anymore. I imagine our families just feel helpless at our situations. I wish it was easier *hugs*

 

[emgrl]

Sorry that your family is distancing from you. Does it feel like they are giving up on you?

I can relate a lot to what you say. My family seems very hurt seeing me as a shell of my former self. They try to ask how I'm doing all the time, and I wish I had something to tell them that wasn't a complete lie. I feel very ashamed just existing around them at this point.

I'd like to believe your family cares about you and they just don't know what to do anymore. I imagine our families just feel helpless at our situations. I wish it was easier *hugs*

Yes, I definitely think that has to do with it. They don't recognize this person… I mean, I don't either.

I haven't seen them in a long time at this point. I want to see them, but I'm agoraphobic now, so going out is a no go.

I really just don't want to be around anyone, but I do my best when I do speak with them. I'm just so emotionless, I get why they don't really bother anymore, or don't want to "make things worse".

I hope things improve for you, we all deserve peace ♡

 

[freevoid]

I get it. It's a kind of empathy fatigue. People who don't deal with constant mental or physical burden/illness can't understand. Their experience of "bad times" is, they get a cold or they feel sad from some stressful event, then it goes away and everything goes back to normal. Therefore, everyone else should too.

So when you're there just constantly drowning, constantly running on the same spot on a treadmill....after a while there's only a few options for them.

1) surrender to the fact that life is often shit and things don't get better for a lot of people no matter how hard they try, so just be there to listen to the sick/burdened person.
2) cope with the feelings of discomfort by projecting them back onto the person (you're not trying hard enough, what if you just do this, have you tried yoga?, just get over it, just suck it up, just go see a therapist, just think positive and manifest etc)
3) cut them off because they're too much of a bummer now

I've seen it, heard it, experienced it, time and time again. It sucks.

 

[emgrl]

I get it. It's a kind of empathy fatigue. People who don't deal with constant mental or physical burden/illness can't understand. Their experience of "bad times" is, they get a cold or they feel sad from some stressful event, then it goes away and everything goes back to normal. Therefore, everyone else should too.

So when you're there just constantly drowning, constantly running on the same spot on a treadmill....after a while there's only a few options for them.

1) surrender to the fact that life is often shit and things don't get better for a lot of people no matter how hard they try, so just be there to listen to the sick/burdened person.
2) cope with the feelings of discomfort by projecting them back onto the person (you're not trying hard enough, what if you just do this, have you tried yoga?, just get over it, just suck it up, just go see a therapist, just think positive and manifest etc)
3) cut them off because they're too much of a bummer now

I've seen it, heard it, experienced it, time and time again. It sucks.

That's pretty much perfectly put.

 

[Littlewittlelight]

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

It really feels like an obligation to get better but some people just get stuck and normal people would take time to understand or find it hard to understand maybe that's why. I hope it gets better or we just find peace in something. If they are trying and you atleast are aware they don't have bad intentions it may be somewhat helpful like they don't have any wrong intentions they just can't understand completely or feel how you feel. I hope something just works out and having a supportive family is a blessing but I hope you can spend time alone if you want because sometimes solitude is all we want? Something just works out because human brain sucks it plays tricks on us.
I have felt that obligation to try to get better but till now when I can't care much even I want to and I feel numb on most days so I really can relate. I get desperate to feel something and then I feel mad at myself but it doesn't work ever. It is just a cycle now.

 

[Hollowillow]

I get so sad when my family gets frustrated with me and won't speak to me. I'm doing the best I can, all it does is push me closer to the edge.

*Tackle glomps you* shroomy! They're so mean! I realuzed they were heartless narcissists wanting a perfect doll to boost their ego to show me off... And used me as their punching bag. The emotional stuff destroyed me.

Get frustrated with THEM and kick THEM out. We're here for you. I'm here. Get back power & dignity. Better lose them than lose your soul to them. *Fluffy hug*

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

Did you get glucose tolerance tested? Because that can cause panick attacks. I use vitamin C, b, mg to help the adrenals priduce adrenalin used to free fuel reserve... And balance blood sugar. I had extreme repeated trauma lately, for asking for help. When I cry hysterically in terror... 5x 1g of C, and 250mg of magnesium calms me almost instantly. I'm in calmer agony... But I want to scream real bad nonstop... Those fuckers don't want to hear your pain... I wish I could meet you, we could cry hugging

They're just frustrated because I get such severe panic attacks. I know they think I should just "be better" by now. I wish they could understand, I would if I could.

I should add, it's not that they're not talking to me… they're just distant.

Being distant is a coping mechanism I guess... Why feel people's pain as your own with empathy when you can just nope out & blame the victim?

Because it's a fucking disgusting thing to do, especially to a loved one, and I'm proud to be negative as hell, because I'm not scared of the abyss, so I don't throw my loved ones under the buss to escape it!

I guess I'm mazochist. Tell me more, fluff. I can take it. It makes me feel closer to you.
Hahaha, @leeloosnow , you're so funny! My slut mother also shat me out against her will, her sister guilt tripped her into keeping me. So she guilt tripped me for being born. I think she had me to guilt trip my dad into not dumping her for a younger woman, his real love. His parents guilt tripped him because she was too young. So he married his friend. My mom married him for his car. A slut for his tires. She used the money he sent to feed me to buy herself dtesses, shoes, handbags... While I was bullied at school fir wearing second hand crap... She blamed me and said I deserved the bullying, to be nicer. So I had to please bullies, and pedophiles later, because I didn't deserve to run away or fight back... i "deserve to suffer" like my haunt said. I kicked them all out of my life, changed my name. I punched my mother in the throat the last time she beat me to vent her breakup. She's lucky that I didn't threw her down the stairs to open her skull in the cement floor in the basement.

So yeah... Tell them to fuck off with the pressure to be a perfect porcelain doll... I have a sheer phobia if their empty souless eyes...

Be you.

I'm sorry, that is horrible. No one should feel like they're being taken advantage of, just to get kicked down.

I do feel for my fam, though. I wouldn't want to see my sister in the condition I'm in. I can't imagine how hard it is for her to see me like this. If I could help it, I would.

Traumas are scary, and I don't know if I'll ever go back to who I was before. All I know is, I don't want to feel like this anymore. It's more than physical pain or agony. It's beyond words.

When I was a kid, I celebrated a new era every 6 years. It was from a science fiction story I wrote with 3 moons aligning in a triangle... Creating a beam of energy necessary to create a new soul. But then I noticed it's kinda real...

0 to 6 baby
6 to 12 child
13 to 18 teenager

We are supposed to change. My haunt couldn't cope that I wasn't a baby anymore, always telling stories... With nostalgia... As if my boring adult ass was worthless now. I probably snapped as a teen to stop calling me Titi, my baby nick name.

Our cells change at different speed, but every 6 years our entire body is changed. A clone. Who you think you are is shat out & died long ago. You are a new version, with knowledge better adapted to your environment. I am the total oppisite if my teen self. From an anorexic workaolic to a bed ridden "nutritionist".

Trauma changed you as a person. I'm sure it lowered your limits, but also made you more patient & compassionate. you understand pain, and can welcome people like me... With mercy.

You're a hybrid clone of your parents. I wouldn't trade your friendship for theirs. You're so kind... Much kinder than they are. Pain forced you to evolve...

If you've been pressured by them & society to be the perfect girl steteotype, trapped in superficialuty with people not willing to look beyond your fuckable flesh to see who you are... This curse can be a blessing. Don't try to cover up trying to go back to your healthier youth... Embrace more important values to define your worth. Like your kindness and intelligence, humor...

It's definitively devastating... But if life wants to teach you something from such cruel curse... It's that you are already too hurt to waste energy on people who don't respect you... Who pressure you... Who shame you... Who want to shove you in a mold of perfection instead to feel you, and comfort you.

You're such a gentle fluff. I wouldn't change you into someone else. I'd love to take your pain away, but that's not by pressuring you to hide & get over it...

They merely see you in pain... You have to feel it constantly... And they have the damn arrogance to not be able to take it for 5 minutes!?

Goddamn jerks. Panic, freak, snap... Like rice crispies in milk... When I had a friend who pressured me to be positive, I panicked into urges to hang myself. I'm calm with you. I feel safe.

Take all the time you need to heal and mourn the old you. I do it every 6 years, to welcome a new era. I was excited thinking I'd get healthier, but I'm sicker than ever and all my plans & hopes fell... I am even more disabled, can't even watch tv....

I didn't think it was possible to have 3 life shatteting cripping traumas in 1 year... Each would destroy my life... The nail is hammered too deep to remove...

I hope you can find a way to heal the pain & find self acceptance... Or at least make it more bearable until the bus catches you...

I hope we can sit at the bus stop together *hugs you* I was savagely beat up by a security guard for not having a mask at a bus stop... Outside... alone... With breathing problems...The cops said I deserved it. Therapy denied me...

Took 4 months to be able to walk better, then got hit by a car right away... Lost my brain... then escaped my mouldy home, but nuked my new one with acid hoping to not bring spores...

THe shame is unbearable... The chemical burn is agony...

But the worst is being called an idiot, that vinegar can't hurt (try drinking a glass, a drop in your eyes... Don't) that I'm insane... Bad personaluty disorder who need to improve for the therapist & abusers...

LEt's hug each other's throat? Pillow fight smothering party?

I love you

 

[emgrl]

Awwww! Thanks for all of this!

It is just so hard not being yourself anymore. I don't know how anyone could expect anyone else to live in such a way.

I feel for you and all you've been through, you're a strong woman to have made it through all of those traumas.

All I can do is my best. I'm scared, sad, angry, and upset all at the same time… it hurts and it really sucks.

So glad to have you, I love you too

 

[Hollowillow]

Awwww! Thanks for all of this!

It is just so hard not being yourself anymore. I don't know how anyone could expect anyone else to live in such a way.

I feel for you and all you've been through, you're a strong woman to have made it through all of those traumas.

All I can do is my best. I'm scared, sad, angry, and upset all at the same time… it hurts and it really sucks.

So glad to have you, I love you too

Aww thank you so much! I thought I hurt you, sorry for the stressful pm.

I guess the elderly feel the same for different reasons... I don't know how they old on.

My grandmother spent years bedridden in a room without even a tv. When we visited she was unresponsive. We rubbed her arm.

Smother me with a pillow...

 

[emgrl]

Aww thank you so much! I thought I hurt you, sorry for the stressful pm.

I guess the elderly feel the same for different reasons... I don't know how they old on.

My grandmother spent years bedridden in a room without even a tv. When we visited she was unresponsive. We rubbed her arm.

Smother me with a pillow...

Nahhh, you didn't hurt me. I'm already hurt beyond repair haha! It wasn't that stressful, thanks for being there for me.

I will not smother you with a pillow!
Love ya too much! ♡