Discussion Main Reason you want to Die?

[Deleted member 10475]

I've just dealt with a very tremulous life since I was a kid, and I'm just exhausted. I turn 26 this summer and all I can think about is how much I failed, I keep fighting and trying but things aren't getting better. I don't want to keep doing this, my dad and my cat are the only things keeping me going.

 

[losthope123]

Probably that I can't get a girlfriend. It has been something that I have wanted forever and it never seems to work out.

 

[littlelady774]

Anxiety and depression mostly.

Also, I have a tendency to misinterpret situations or things people have said. I obsess over past conversations or relationships- worrying about all the possible hidden meanings I didn't pick up on at the time. Then I scare the sh!t out of myself by coming up with the worst possibility I can think of, my anxiety always manages to find "evidence" by going back over the memory. Then I'm in even more distress because I have to go back over the memory in my mind several times to discredit this "evidence" to reassure myself.
It's hard to explain. It's obsession. I think it's pure o ocd.
That's one of the reasons anyway :(
I wish I could just be happy and normal like everyone else

 

[sufferingalways]

hiya, I think you slightly misunderstood my point. Sorry if I misled you. Let me start a bit again; the reason I won't move apart from what I mentioned above, is not to spoil any relation with the council, they have spoiled relations single handed with no intervention from me. The reason is because sleep deprivation has made me too weak and sick. Dizzy all the time can't stand up, nor wash myself or launder my clothes. I told how I haven't seen daylight in over two years (to the housing investigator as well as the council - and both have screwed me over)

If or when I move from here it will be on my terms only not because the council harassment cause me to leave.
That is illegal and if it could be proved in court they ignored repair to make a tenant leave? They would be in serious trouble. Judges DON"T like councils who abuse their power. Period.
I have been in court before, as a witness to an assault at a flat I lived in years ago (2 flats ago). Sadly as I can't get out due to sleep deprivation I would write a letter to the judge outlining everything, same as when the council took me to court a few years ago because I'm disabled due to sleep deprivation. Such a sick joke! Let's take the tenant to court now that the other department has made them too sick to get down the stairs let a gas engineer in. Jobsworths, dumb tossers, ridiculous a-holes. Bureaucracy meme - "bureaucracy is the art of making the possible - impossible."

AMEN TO THAT!
PS, I'm not meek. A friend once said I have "more balls than the army." (not sure if I do, but I can't let injustice just stay. I do things to fight back until rights are restored. ) If I have to, I will sue the council for neglect, and the torture which sleep deprivation is.

 

[torturedbylife]

The main reason would be non stop suffering caused by loneliness especially. And the fact that people were always rude to me. I'm really afraid of the future and don't wanna see it.

 

[idontevenknowanymore]

Major depression and anxiety disorder, my binge eating disorder is ruining me physically, self harming isn't enough anymore, I got bullied through all 12 years of school plus when I used to work, even get verbally attacked by random people on the streets which is why I don't wanna go outside anymore anyway. Also developed extreme trust issues while having a dependency personality disorder at the same time lmao.
I gave up in humanity and this cruel world.

 

[woxihuanni]

I don't want to die at all, just that I will have to.

 

[I’mDone]

Severe chronic depression that's getting worse. Complex PTSD. Feeling that I'm worthless and a complete failure. The world will be a better place without me.

 

[epic]

The main reason would be non stop suffering caused by loneliness especially.

Being alone is fun too, if you find right interest you won't even notice how time passes. I am an introvert. I indulge in movies,politics and youtube all the time.

And the fact that people were always rude to me. I'm really afraid of the future and don't wanna see it.

I don't know you specific circumstance but in general 97% to 99% people are empathetic. There is no reason to believe you will be encountering rude people everywhere if you disatnce yourself from current ones.

 

[Kain10th]

Ruined my life, can't hold a job for long, everyone hates me, I've done terrible things to people.

 

[Walilamdzi]

Feeling like I can't influence my life for the better and feeling like a burden.

 

[GoBack]

I'm so tired. I can't make peace with anyone or anything. I'm going to have early dementia at this rate if no sleep

 

[victoria91]

Because I am a failure and I'm a fuck up.

 

[Zozo]

I am stuck in a rut. I mean I've always had mental illness for ad long as i can remember. Been on about 20 different psych meds (not exagerating.) Antidepressants, stimulants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics. Effexor helped for 2 weeks and then crapped out on me, which made me hit a whole new low because I was given false hope.

So I turned to hard drugs when I was 19. Lived on the streets and any money I obtained (legally or illegally) went to feeding my heroin addiction.

I finally got clean at 29. It's been 4 years since I've done any hard drugs or even drank alcohol, but I feel like a mindless drone. Without all the drugs numbing my mind, the depression has returned worse than ever. I've lost all interest in living life this way. I used to be quite the artist/musician but I've lost the passion. I'm 33, work a dead end menial job, live paycheck to paycheck. Ive lost all my friends due to my less than admirable behavior during my drug addiction.

I wish I could just die by flipping a switch or pushing a button.

 

[sufferingalways]

Severe chronic depression that's getting worse. Complex PTSD. Feeling that I'm worthless and a complete failure. The world will be a better place without me.

Hi, I have complex ptsd too. You're not alone. **hug**

 

[UrDreamz]

There is no main it is a combo over everything in this thing called life

 

[Bend Sinister]

Anxiety and depression mostly.

Also, I have a tendency to misinterpret situations or things people have said. I obsess over past conversations or relationships- worrying about all the possible hidden meanings I didn't pick up on at the time. Then I scare the sh!t out of myself by coming up with the worst possibility I can think of, my anxiety always manages to find "evidence" by going back over the memory. Then I'm in even more distress because I have to go back over the memory in my mind several times to discredit this "evidence" to reassure myself.
It's hard to explain. It's obsession. I think it's pure o ocd.
That's one of the reasons anyway :(
I wish I could just be happy and normal like everyone else

You're. Not alone on that one. I do it all the time and I am exhausted by it. Amongst other things. Overthinking is a bitch.
I have lost hope and I'm tired. So very tired. I want to sleep now, I've done all I can.

You can only bang your head against the wall for so long before the wall wins.

 

[sufferingalways]

You're. Not alone on that one. I do it all the time and I am exhausted by it. Amongst other things. Overthinking is a bitch.
I have lost hope and I'm tired. So very tired. I want to sleep now, I've done all I can.

You can only bang your head against the wall for so long before the wall wins.

Hug. Overthinking is a hard habit to break.

 

[CatchingTheBusK]

Anxiety
Depression
Failure in every aspect of life
And Have no courage to sort things out because it is close to impossible

 

[mathieu]

My mental health problems are my main reason. I have schizoaffective bipolar type, borderline PD, severe anxiety and agoraphobia and ADD. My life is hell.

 

[niloc]

Extreme career burn out, the prospect of having to work shit jobs for the rest of my life, financially trying to keep up. Being 40 and completely lost in my life.

 

[sufferingalways]

Anxiety and depression mostly.

Also, I have a tendency to misinterpret situations or things people have said. I obsess over past conversations or relationships- worrying about all the possible hidden meanings I didn't pick up on at the time. Then I scare the sh!t out of myself by coming up with the worst possibility I can think of, my anxiety always manages to find "evidence" by going back over the memory. Then I'm in even more distress because I have to go back over the memory in my mind several times to discredit this "evidence" to reassure myself.
It's hard to explain. It's obsession. I think it's pure o ocd.
That's one of the reasons anyway :(
I wish I could just be happy and normal like everyone else

Hugs I think I have done some of those things. Its a hard cycle to get out of.
Do you have any support like therapy? (by that i mean one who cares, and listens).

 

[Oscar.in.the.closet]

Guilt. Lack of closure is so many places and things that just take too much energy to think about. I just want to be able to not feel tired anymore

 

[imsorrybear]

eating disorder, multiple burnouts and the lack of control of my thoughts--i overthink really really badly

 

[JustAnotherSuicider]

Well, there are a lot of reasons:
- loneliness
- chronic depression and probably all other possible mental disorders - who knows
- "I'm just a sucker with no self esteem"
- I just don't belong on this world, I can't find my place, can't fit anywhere
- everyone abandon me, sooner or later
- some medical problems, I hate my body - and it seems like my body hates my too
- I'm ugly and I look 10 years younger that I really am, so everyone look down on me and threat my like child - I hate it
- I hate myself
- I don't feel like I can ever be happy
- everything is meaningless - we all gone die eventually, sooner or later
- I will never find true love that I seek and need

I've had suicidal though for quite some time now, but I didn't really attempted it more seriously til recently.

When my gf dumped me I lost all hope that has been left in me. She was the only thing (or should I say person, but persons got some feelings I guess) that meant something to me in my life. That was the final nail in the coffin for me. Since then I don't trust anyone anymore, and I don't believe that "love" exists.

 

[Superdeterminist]

-My only job options are dead end positions that I'm too stubborn and proud to accept.
-Criminal record that's stuck with me for life.
-Terrible with the opposite sex and can't see how I'll ever improve.
-Whenever I fail or something negative happens, I get extremely upset and angry, and I don't know how to manage it.
-My future is looking to be poverty and/or homelessness, and I'd much rather be dead.
-Generally I always focus on the negative aspects of things, fail or refuse to see the positives, and from an early age I've always worried feverishly even about trivial things. Sick of it.

 

[SSlostallhope]

A personality disorder which causes severe anxiety , depression, loneliness :(

debt

loss of both parents

 

[Shinbu]

I want to be spared from the human body, and the human psyche forever so that's why ctb is so appealing. Satisfaction is short lived, because humans always want more when they are bored. I can't wait to escape my human nature, and the other aspects that come with it that are bad. We all were non existent once. Non existence is my true home.

 

[HappyMstake]

Where to start?

• I've had depression since I was 14, so 11 years now.
• Social anxiety has plagued my existence since the day I was born.
• Every "friend" I have ever had has left me, either because I'm too "boring" or "depressing."
• My ex broke up with me about a year ago, and I've yet to even talk to someone else.
• I'm ugly.
• I fucked up my career options.
• Lastly. Just the thought of living like this for 10, 20+ Years makes me even more depressed than I already am.