Discussion Main Reason you want to Die?

[waterbottleman]

Depends.

I think the lack of my basic need for intimacy/validation being met my entire life has not only caused me to be lonely but realize that there is something off and something intrinsically wrong with me. I'm an alien, I'm not a person.

However I wouldn't kill myself over this. It's been like this my whole life so I'm numb to it now and have been for a very long time.

What I think this has done year by year though is cause my depression to become more severe to the point I'm at now where I struggle to enjoy anything. Hobbies and things I used to enjoy have been taken from me.

It's this that makes me want to suicide. I have nothing to live for.

 

[Mooshi]

I have many reasons, here are a few.

I refuse to live in a society such as this one.
I don't want to experience becoming old.
Mental illnesses such as depression, PTSD, social anxiety, and more.
Life is pointless and boring.

 

[soakmeinbleach]

im just another being on earth but with no meaning or purpose,,, dont need to be here dont rly want to be here

 

[Klee]

Because no matter what I do in life, I will be stuck in this dreadful body.

 

[AcornUnderground]

Depends.

I think the lack of my basic need for intimacy/validation being met my entire life has not only caused me to be lonely but realize that there is something off and something intrinsically wrong with me. I'm an alien, I'm not a person.

However I wouldn't kill myself over this. It's been like this my whole life so I'm numb to it now and have been for a very long time.

What I think this has done year by year though is cause my depression to become more severe to the point I'm at now where I struggle to enjoy anything. Hobbies and things I used to enjoy have been taken from me.

It's this that makes me want to suicide. I have nothing to live for.

It's interesting, I read a lot about chronic pain and suicide as it pertains to me. Most studies show that even people in physical pain do not cite that as the reason for suicide - it is the loss of ability to do the things that they like to do.

 

[qwerty32]

Heart broken. Depression. Feeling useless.

 

[waterbottleman]

It's interesting, I read a lot about chronic pain and suicide as it pertains to me. Most studies show that even people in physical pain do not cite that as the reason for suicide - it is the loss of ability to do the things that they like to do.

I imagine both physical and psychological pain do the same thing to a person if the pain persists year after year, it wears down a person slowly over time and eventually breaks them.

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Chronically ill which then caused my disability with Doctors unable to solve it and a family unwilling to give any support. Wasted all my youth on it and tried for many years without any results so what's the point of living?

 

[Erase.myself]

There's no one main reason. It's an accumulation of things.

My mental illnesses. (Borderline PD, Bipolar Rapid Cycling, Social Anxiety, PTSD).
My eating disorder which will kill me at some point anyways. Just got out of treatment and I'm in full blown relapse.
Grief and loss of my twin sister and love of my life.
Fleeting moments of happiness that don't last.


Attempting to find hope, yet it comes and goes. I feel ambivalent at this moment about ctb, when I had planned it for next week.

 

[Flump]

I don't want a life without my son, my heart is broken and I will never function properly without him, I'm broken

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

Brutal education ruined my self confidence. Health issues due to sport injury. Addictions. Heartbroken after loosing my wife. Long term dépression. Lack of hope. I m tired of living.

 

[KleinerWolf]

List bellow...

For me it's ptsd and severe depression... and of course... a loss of hope.

My main reason to die is because I am unhappy with my current nationality.

Wanted to immigrate to Australia from China since I was 17,
26 now, still trying to immigrate to New Zealand as a chef, the policies are incredibly tough,
and there goes China-virus, making everything worse than it already was lol, since restaurant industry is completely fucked.

I'm losing my mind.
Taking it day by day, drunk most of the time, but probably will end up hanging myself by end of this week.

 

[niemand]

Lack of love, selfhate

 

[lymestolemylife]

I feel like the way this world is makes me want to not be here anymore. I don't wanna live in a world where social media status determines your importance, where the color of your skin determines how you're treated... this world is so messed up in many ways, I don't wanna live like this.

It is so superficial and shallow.

I don't want a life without my son, my heart is broken and I will never function properly without him, I'm broken

I lost my daughter, age 6 in 2016, she was my soulmate and best friend. I feel your pain. I'm so so sorry.

 

[Mr2005]

Didn't get the surgeons numbers in 2004

 

[any%]

My inability to live in the moment and plan for the future. I am constantly in my head existing in the past and am full of regret even though I know that doesnt help. I have severe depression since I was 14 and I dont know why. I am very nihilistic about this world. I see human kind as a virus and the earth is its host. I feel to weak to live this life as one is supposed to be, yet I am hesitant to leave this realm, because I dont want to hurt my family. I despise the idea of being a human in this society but before all others I despise myself the most, because I can only be responsible for myself. And I am a lying, self-manipulating, self-loathing, pretentious shadow of whatever I was supposed to be and recently more or less dropped out of university. I dont really want to die, but I certainly dont want to live if that makes any sense.

 

[akrasia]

Mental health, severe depression, anxiety and social idea.
Low self-esteem, and lost of hope.
I never believe that I belong on this earth since I was young. I always believe that I belong somewhere else, but not sure where. I have always been an out-cast.

 

[BCas]

I don't really want to do anything. This may be depression, but I don't think it is as I was definitely depressed in college and at one point, before withdrawing, couldn't even form sentences. Maybe it's just a mild form of depression and that would explain why I can't remember half of what people say to me. I feel like life has no purpose and we just make our own purposes and go off that, not realizing the suffering we cause all around us to humans and animals. I feel this even more ever since I've seen videos of people getting killed/hurt/suiciding on reddit and other sites. Is life worth having on this planet if suffering is literally hard wired into humans and animals (I hope it isn't for plants but we might find out, or maybe already have found out, it is for them too). It might have been a good idea to add "and what's holding you back?" to your question. What's holding me back is the pain it would cause my family as they are good people and the possibility of reincarnation. I guess I wouldn't care though, since I wouldn't remember who I am now. Hell would probably suck too, though I would apparently not remember that either (and would hopefully come out better for it, unless it's only purpose is pain and not to 'teach a lesson' as some people believe).

 

[mediocre]

I wake up everyday and I feel physically weak, sick, in pain and discomfort. I've had no help. I can't go in feeling like this 24/7 because I can't do anything I can barely process a thought anymore...

 

[epic]

Deteriorating Physical health.

 

[SadHam]

My main reason to die is because I am unhappy with my current nationality.

Wanted to immigrate to Australia from China since I was 17,
26 now, still trying to immigrate to New Zealand as a chef, the policies are incredibly tough,
and there goes China-virus, making everything worse than it already was lol, since restaurant industry is completely fucked.

I'm losing my mind.
Taking it day by day, drunk most of the time, but probably will end up hanging myself by end of this week.

Dude dont give up. I live in NZ. They're will be a way to get here. It's not all that great here but there is freedom of thought and at least an attempt at mental health assistance. I'm a suicidal drop kick who is unemployed but if I can help let me know. In the mean time I can post you some goodies from here if you like? Tried Whitaker's chocolate before?

 

[KleinerWolf]

Dude dont give up. I live in NZ. They're will be a way to get here. It's not all that great here but there is freedom of thought and at least an attempt at mental health assistance. I'm a suicidal drop kick who is unemployed but if I can help let me know. In the mean time I can post you some goodies from here if you like? Tried Whitaker's chocolate before?

Hi Ham,
You are a very kind soul and it warms my heart having your support.

Not too much a fan of chocolate these days :) but thank you for your kind gesture.

I'm physically in NZ but it doesn't mean anything. I'm sure everyone has their own struggles, one way or another. Life is tough, not gonna lie.

Hope you are doing well yourself regardless.

*Sending you hugs in return*

 

[SadHam]

Sorry

Hi Ham,
I assume that you were replying to me. You are a very kind soul and it warms my heart having your support.

Not too much a fan of chocolate these days :) but thank you for your kind gesture.

I'm physically in NZ but it doesn't mean anything. I'm sure everyone has their own struggles, one way or another. Life is tough, not gonna lie.

Hope you are doing well yourself regardless.

*Sending you hugs in return*

Sorry mucked up the quote and on bad internet connection. I mean I want to die every day. And it's true we all have our own struggles but it doesn't lessen them or they're burden. Well if there is any way I can help let me know. Just a sadham in the country but maybe there is still something I can do

 

[Maxximilian]

depression; i hate myself, i want to end my pain

 

[KleinerWolf]

Sorry

Sorry mucked up the quote and on bad internet connection. I mean I want to die every day. And it's true we all have our own struggles but it doesn't lessen them or they're burden. Well if there is any way I can help let me know. Just a sadham in the country but maybe there is still something I can do

Thank you ham. I appreciate that.

Hoping everyone can find peace without having to resort to ctb if possible,
including you and me both of course.

 

[dwarff24]

Depression, anxiety, loneliness, self hatred...I'm tired of life. There's no reason for me to live anymore

 

[coyguy]

List bellow...

For me it's ptsd and severe depression... and of course... a loss of hope.

I got raped by my ex boyfriend. I've mental problems as well, but that's the main reason

 

[HotCheetoFries]

layers of childhood trauma, self-loathing, i have a very avoidant personality so i'd rather die than try to uproot all my suppressed memories to get better, family issues, ect ect your typical shit.

 

[darkhorse256]

PTSD from sexual assault, memory loss from trauma (another thing my abuser took away from me was my photographic memory) and severe anxiety.

 

[mattwitt]

I just can't function properly anymore.