Lucked Out - I have Metastatic Cancer

[TheBroken]

Lesions found during routine MRI and my bus will only be +/- 1 year in coming. Likely going with Dignitas, but will check out a few hospice companies before deciding. Ironic outcome after buying SN, debreather, and other supplies. Mixed feelings - maybe easier when I was in the drivers seat to decide timing versus current outcome. Pretty weird ........ final life adventure is headed my way.

 

[todiefor]

Oh no! I'm so sorry :( life..is so cruel and unpredictable. That is heavy news :(. I can understand why you would have mixed feelings, certainly different to being in the decision seat. I'm here if you want to talk.

 

[soonatpeace777888]

Wow. Cancer is a motherfucker. Good luck with what ever to happens from here man.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I'm sorry you find yourself with this insidious disease. May I ask if you have already turned down any treatment options? I hope things go the way you want them to.

 

[Wyldfyre4948]

Idk if I should congratulate you or offer sympathy. At the very least this is kinda what you wanted. Hopefully you don't suffer or have much pain while you wait for your bus.

 

[enough of this]

Lesions found during routine MRI and my bus will only be +/- 1 year in coming. Likely going with Dignitas, but will check out a few hospice companies before deciding. Ironic outcome after buying SN, debreather, and other supplies. Mixed feelings - maybe easier when I was in the drivers seat to decide timing versus current outcome. Pretty weird ........ final life adventure is headed my way.

Indications are, this will hardly be your final life adventure. The closing of the door of this physical, time/space reality, will be the opening of the door into your re-emergence into the super consciousness this physical, time/space reality has kept you from experiencing. If you think your physical death is the end of you, you're in for a big surprise.

Whenever it comes, I wish you a very pleasant transition.

 

[whywere]

I had gall bladder cancer.

I totally broke down crying after reading your thread. My heart and my soul go out to you, as you are family to me and reading this completely will have me saying prayers for you.

You are in my heart, mind and soul always.

I am not on all the time, I still work at 67, but feel free to leave a pm and I will get back to you asap when I log on.

Sending you lots of very huge bear hugs and the knowledge that I love and care about you forever.

Walter

 

[MBG]

Lesions found during routine MRI and my bus will only be +/- 1 year in coming. Likely going with Dignitas, but will check out a few hospice companies before deciding….

FYI: https://www.exitswitzerland.com/

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry to hear your news. It must have been shocking. I hope you are not experiencing pain. Do you have any plans now? Things you've always wanted to do? I hope you get to fulfil some of them.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you don't suffer too much from that before everything ends, best wishes.

 

[TheBroken]

I'm sorry you find yourself with this insidious disease. May I ask if you have already turned down any treatment options? I hope things go the way you want them to.

Not yet - but will be turning down all options.

I'm sorry to hear your news. It must have been shocking. I hope you are not experiencing pain. Do you have any plans now? Things you've always wanted to do? I hope you get to fulfil some of them.

Going to do a few bucket list items yes - pain is just starting a little and will grow in coming months.

I hope you don't suffer too much from that before everything ends, best wishes.

Thank you -

Idk if I should congratulate you or offer sympathy. At the very least this is kinda what you wanted. Hopefully you don't suffer or have much pain while you wait for your bus.

Thanks - going for max meds for sure.

I had gall bladder cancer.

I totally broke down crying after reading your thread. My heart and my soul go out to you, as you are family to me and reading this completely will have me saying prayers for you.

You are in my heart, mind and soul always.

I am not on all the time, I still work at 67, but feel free to leave a pm and I will get back to you asap when I log on.

Sending you lots of very huge bear hugs and the knowledge that I love and care about you forever.

Walter

Thank you - will PM in the coming weeks as things get sorted out regarding certain decisions. Sounds like you have some experience to offer for sure.

Indications are, this will hardly be your final life adventure. The closing of the door of this physical, time/space reality, will be the opening of the door into your re-emergence into the super consciousness this physical, time/space reality has kept you from experiencing. If you think your physical death is the end of you, you're in for a big surprise.

Whenever it comes, I wish you a very pleasant transition.

Thank you - a threshold is coming for sure.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

Many congrats.

 

[Chara]

Wishing you peaceful journey with hopefully not much pain or complications or anything all the best luck

 

[Unattainable666]

One of the saddest parts of all this is that you will receive love, care, sympathy, empathy an everything you need. Had you continued with your plan to ctb, you would have been ostracized. What a fucked world we live in. I wish you the best.

 

[Minsu]

Hope you won't suffer much.
My grandpa died of cancer on sunday and he went through unbearable pain despite being on a high dose of morphium. Take care and I'm sending you hugs

 

[Sweet Tart]

Such major news. It's a lot to reflect on, idk even how to respond. I don't know you but I am here for you to the extent that I am here and able to be. Sending you hugs while you process this.

 

[BornHated]

Man that's.. Yeah, a major hit to the psyche. And yes, you are right- things hurt less when you feel in control of the situation, mental anguish included, I've found.
I'm sorry it turned out that way. I have no prior experience or advice with this situation, it's really scary. A lot of distraction can help from pain in general but I guess it would depend on severity.
There's various survivors and other chronically/terminally ill folks on here, I don't know if there's a subthread for them but I imagine they have advice or resources on long-term pain management and deterioration.

I really wish I could help more than just give condolences, I'm sorry you have to go through this.

 

[Das Nichts]

It feels wrong to congratulate you.

I've thought about this myself a lot, my setup is complete and everything is in order but I currently can't bring
myself to CTB.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. Cancer is a horrible disease. I hope you don't have to suffer, have a peaceful and painless journey and I hope you get the support you need now. I wish you all the best and I hope you can find peace!

 

[Stormy Raine]

I'm so sorry about your news. I really can't say I'm so happy for you because cancer isn't a beautiful journey so please forgive me. I once watched a movie I can't remember the name but it was about a girl who attempted suicide and woke up in the hospital. The doctor had a theory that if they told her she was going to die and lie about her having some illness it would prevent her from attempting to ctb again, well they were right and I remember those next days were the happiest she ever been. Once she discovered the truth she was very upset and I can't remember the rest it's been years but I remember she was so angry. The doctor was baffled because the plan worked and she spent those days so happy. That movie makes me think about you. It brings me to tears to imagine how you must feel with all these mixed emotions. I think suicide is us having control of when we have had enough and when that control is taken how do you handle it, how do you cope? It's ironic you are on this website and now this new discovery. Perhaps you can start sharing your journey, maybe a book, vlogging or us, you could help so many people. I'll end with saying I pray that you find peace before this is all over and try to find some good days before you go. If you ever need to talk I'm here, I work a lot but I frequently log on. You don't have to walk this journey alone. Best wishes to you!

 

[BornHated]

I'm so sorry about your news. I really can't say I'm so happy for you because cancer isn't a beautiful journey so please forgive me. I once watched a movie I can't remember the name but it was about a girl who attempted suicide and woke up in the hospital. The doctor had a theory that if they told her she was going to die and lie about her having some illness it would prevent her from attempting to ctb again, well they were right and I remember those next days were the happiest she ever been. Once she discovered the truth she was very upset and I can't remember the rest it's been years but I remember she was so angry. The doctor was baffled because the plan worked and she spent those days so happy. That movie makes me think about you. It brings me to tears to imagine how you must feel with all these mixed emotions. I think suicide is us having control of when we have had enough and when that control is taken how do you handle it, how do you cope? It's ironic you are on this website and now this new discovery. Perhaps you can start sharing your journey, maybe a book, vlogging or us, you could help so many people. I'll end with saying I pray that you find peace before this is all over and try to find some good days before you go. If you ever need to talk I'm here, I work a lot but I frequently log on. You don't have to walk this journey alone. Best wishes to you!

If anyone remembers the name of this movie, please let me know. I'm curious.

I had been thinking about this lately and honestly I think part of it is the expectations society sets on people about what an intended life path is supposed to be. If you have a long life ahead of you, you're going to feel miserable about it if you know how much effort it will take to survive and make it to retirement safely. That's because for most people it often involves long/boring or strenuous work hours; If they are repressed by other forces and unable to connect to others outside of work for whatever reasons, this is often the nail on the head. People are extremely critical of you not "doing enough" for yourself on average despite the circumstances you were born into.
But if you're going to pass away sooner, you can use your savings for some fun before you go. It's easier to cut loose with that mindset. A lot of people have more empathy towards those with terminal illness like this but only if you have close family and friends- I have read of cases of those who come down with cancer and die with no one to visit or help them.

 

[TheBroken]

One of the saddest parts of all this is that you will receive love, care, sympathy, empathy an everything you need. Had you continued with your plan to ctb, you would have been ostracized. What a fucked world we live in. I wish you the best.

Very true ...

 

[Leagueofgentlemen]

I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and impending pain, but at least you know you haven't got long left.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

I'm sorry about your condition as well as the possible pain that comes with it. Hopefully, you'll be able to pass away with little to no pain, and I wish you all the best. May you reach an ending you desire.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Lesions found during routine MRI and my bus will only be +/- 1 year in coming. Likely going with Dignitas, but will check out a few hospice companies before deciding. Ironic outcome after buying SN, debreather, and other supplies. Mixed feelings - maybe easier when I was in the drivers seat to decide timing versus current outcome. Pretty weird ........ final life adventure is headed my way.

im sorry that your death is no longer in your control
at the same time, i am jealous. i would love to have a terminal illness

One of the saddest parts of all this is that you will receive love, care, sympathy, empathy an everything you need. Had you continued with your plan to ctb, you would have been ostracized. What a fucked world we live in. I wish you the best.

THISS. Fucking clown world what a joke...

 

[cheese.out]

Im so sorry for you. I completely understand your mixed feelings - we can always decide if we want to ctb or not and thats what gives us the feeling of control and peace. Wish you peace and love❤

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

im so sorry but im so jealous at the same time
i wish this was me. why couldnt i just have gotten your illness

 

[ookletsgoctb]

If anyone remembers the name of this movie, please let me know. I'm curious.

I had been thinking about this lately and honestly I think part of it is the expectations society sets on people about what an intended life path is supposed to be. If you have a long life ahead of you, you're going to feel miserable about it if you know how much effort it will take to survive and make it to retirement safely. That's because for most people it often involves long/boring or strenuous work hours; If they are repressed by other forces and unable to connect to others outside of work for whatever reasons, this is often the nail on the head. People are extremely critical of you not "doing enough" for yourself on average despite the circumstances you were born into.
But if you're going to pass away sooner, you can use your savings for some fun before you go. It's easier to cut loose with that mindset. A lot of people have more empathy towards those with terminal illness like this but only if you have close family and friends- I have read of cases of those who come down with cancer and die with no one to visit or help them.

I think it's "Veronika decides to die".

 

[TheBroken]

If anyone remembers the name of this movie, please let me know. I'm curious.

I had been thinking about this lately and honestly I think part of it is the expectations society sets on people about what an intended life path is supposed to be. If you have a long life ahead of you, you're going to feel miserable about it if you know how much effort it will take to survive and make it to retirement safely. That's because for most people it often involves long/boring or strenuous work hours; If they are repressed by other forces and unable to connect to others outside of work for whatever reasons, this is often the nail on the head. People are extremely critical of you not "doing enough" for yourself on average despite the circumstances you were born into.
But if you're going to pass away sooner, you can use your savings for some fun before you go. It's easier to cut loose with that mindset. A lot of people have more empathy towards those with terminal illness like this but only if you have close family and friends- I have read of cases of those who come down with cancer and die with no one to visit or help them.

All very good points and observations.

 

[todienomore]

is it centered around a crtain organ / area