lowkey feel like having a boyfriend would solve all my problems

[Echofox7]

I'm sorry but that sounds like an incel or femcel thought in this case, I would lie to you if I told you that I never thought of a fantasy like that but if you stop to think about the love that you don't give yourself, no one can give it to you and that is why In the long run, a relationship like that would not work and you would end up disappointed, even so I hope that people like you find what they are looking for.

I don't know if your talking about me but if you are you don't know whats it really like. Its impossible to meet anyone and i don't want to go to nightclub/bars and if even if you do meet someone these days girls have hundreds of options its basically waste of time even trying anymore thats why i gave up.

 

[Temporal_Anchorite]

I don't think it'd solve all my problems but it might give me a reason to want to solve them.

For real. Every time I've started dating a new girl, it's like it inspires me to become a better person and renew my lease on life. Shawty got me reading self-help books and browsing health forums and shit lmao

 

[Biblom2000]

I don't know if your talking about me but if you are you don't know whats it really like. Its impossible to meet anyone and i don't want to go to nightclub/bars and if even if you do meet someone these days girls have hundreds of options its basically waste of time even trying anymore thats why i gave up.

I was saying it in general, I think that what you say about girls is a prejudice that is held on the internet, I have read it a lot of times, I am not saying that it is not like that, but I think that you should not let anyone cloud your judgment. Be like that and if you have had bad experiences with girls, don't let one or another bad experience ruin your life.

 

[whywere]

I am older than most on here, and I ONLY mention this aspect as I have through the decades had lady friends, been married once, that is over thank heavens and have been by myself (now) and have co-lived with ladies before also.

In my life, from what I have experienced and seen from lots of folks, everyone is so different in everything, from likes, dislikes of food, drink and whether to have a partner or not.

Like with everything in life, it is a balancing act as far as like having a partner is fun and great, HOWEVER there is always tradeoffs to consider.

Someday, maybe, I will have a friend again but at least in my age group it is not the end of days type situation.

You @Eventually_An_Angel are a great friend on SaSu to/for me and I wish you all the happiness in this world.

Walter

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I was saying it in general, I think that what you say about girls is a prejudice that is held on the internet, I have read it a lot of times, I am not saying that it is not like that, but I think that you should not let anyone cloud your judgment. Be like that and if you have had bad experiences with girls, don't let one or another bad experience ruin your life.

As someone who is basically forever alone I don't have "bad experiences" with girls other than them ignoring me or just always rejecting me. Best I've ever managed was to be friendzoned and I even got rejected from that eventually.

So it's not any "bad experience" from any one woman, but simply rejection after rejection after rejection eating away at my soul and self-esteem and ruining my life.

To think know all the hours, days , months, weeks and years I've wasted on dating apps or trying g to chat to women, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it, not even a kiss.

If you'd have told me it would all amount to nothing I'd have very happily ctb instead of dealing with so much trauma , despair, loneliness and disappointment

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I don't know if your talking about me but if you are you don't know whats it really like. Its impossible to meet anyone and i don't want to go to nightclub/bars and if even if you do meet someone these days girls have hundreds of options its basically waste of time even trying anymore thats why i gave up.

If they were talking to you then you would have replied to your post. That post was clearly directed more towards the OP. Also, please cut it with the "I can't find a girl but all these girls have it easy when it comes to finding a man" crap. Plenty of women have difficulties when it comes to finding a partner.

 

[Biblom2000]

As someone who is basically forever alone I don't have "bad experiences" with girls other than them ignoring me or just always rejecting me. Best I've ever managed was to be friendzoned and I even got rejected from that eventually.

So it's not any "bad experience" from any one woman, but simply rejection after rejection after rejection eating away at my soul and self-esteem and ruining my life.

To think know all the hours, days , months, weeks and years I've wasted on dating apps or trying g to chat to women, and I have absolutely nothing to show for it, not even a kiss.

If you'd have told me it would all amount to nothing I'd have very happily ctb instead of dealing with so much trauma , despair, loneliness and disappointment

Well, it seems to me that the main problem here is that you don't love yourself enough, I'm not the one to say this since I don't do it either, but I think that you should learn to manage your loneliness and try to be happy with it, dating apps are not a good place to find girls who are worth it, they are just looking for fun, maybe you should do things you like, some sports, get out of the house more, I don't know, and then little by little you will socialize with people of your same tastes, without them Realize you will be surrounded by people you value

 

[pyx]

Well, it seems to me that the main problem here is that you don't love yourself enough, I'm not the one to say this since I don't do it either, but I think that you should learn to manage your loneliness and try to be happy with it, dating apps are not a good place to find girls who are worth it, they are just looking for fun, maybe you should do things you like, some sports, get out of the house more, I don't know, and then little by little you will socialize with people of your same tastes, without them Realize you will be surrounded by people you value

imo pretty poor advice to tell people "just love yourself" when they have suffered rejection their entire lives, but your heart is in the right place

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Well, it seems to me that the main problem here is that you don't love yourself enough, I'm not the one to say this since I don't do it either, but I think that you should learn to manage your loneliness and try to be happy with it, dating apps are not a good place to find girls who are worth it, they are just looking for fun, maybe you should do things you like, some sports, get out of the house more, I don't know, and then little by little you will socialize with people of your same tastes, without them Realize you will be surrounded by people you value

I'm in my 40s and I've spent my entire life alone, I was reasonably happy and comfortable in my own company, albeit at least with the expectation/hope it wouldn't actually last forever.

My self-esteem used to be fine until I actually put more effort in trying dating apps and talking to women. You've got the situation completely backwards, there wasn't really any issue with me until I started failing completely and eventually coming to the realisation that I'll probably never experience romantic love.

I'd quite myself as a person except for my failures with dating and the fact I still feel like a child because of it. I also liked myself more when I wasn't trying, simply because you can't fail or get hurt and rejected if you're not really trying.

 

[mysteryboy]

I thought having a girlfriend would solve my problems, then a girl was attracted to me and I felt as if I still hated myself

 

[Biblom2000]

imo pretty poor advice to tell people "just love yourself" when they have suffered rejection their entire lives, but your heart is in the right place

I know, but I can't tell him that he will never find anyone because that's not the case. If he tried in other ways he would surely find someone who values him for who he is. It's not like I can give him a hug because he's not here. It's all perspective. Really, if you manage to love yourself and accept what you have, you can get out of the abyss, that's what I always try to tell myself to stay alive.

I'm in my 40s and I've spent my entire life alone, I was reasonably happy and comfortable in my own company, albeit at least with the expectation/hope it wouldn't actually last forever.

My self-esteem used to be fine until I actually put more effort in trying dating apps and talking to women. You've got the situation completely backwards, there wasn't really any issue with me until I started failing completely and eventually coming to the realisation that I'll probably never experience romantic love.

I'd quite myself as a person except for my failures with dating and the fact I still feel like a child because of it. I also liked myself more when I wasn't trying, simply because you can't fail or get hurt and rejected if you're not really trying.

Are you going to therapy friend?

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Are you going to therapy friend?

No that's just a waste of time and money. All I need is to be loved.

Even a failed relationship would be huge progress me. In fact just a single date would be great.

 

[Biblom2000]

No that's just a waste of time and money. All I need is to be loved.

Even a failed relationship would be huge progress me. In fact just a single date would be great.

For people who are looking to get out of the hole it is not a loss, I'm sorry but you can't demand love from someone, people can love you for a while, whether for your money, appearance or something of their convenience and then they can break your heart or disappoint you, all of this can make you worse than you already are if you do not have enough strength to accept that and move on, I believe that life puts these obstacles in our way because we cannot give the other person something that they do not We have, in this case love, don't focus on just the problem, try to find a solution, friend.

 

[pyx]

I believe that life puts these obstacles in our way because we cannot give the other person something that they do not We have, in this case love, don't focus on just the problem, try to find a solution, friend.

tbf i think goading people down this path on a pro-choice forum with the phrasing "don't focus on just the problem, try to find a solution" would raise a few disdainful harrumphs from bystanders. might unintentionally trivialize their struggles along with others

 

[alienfreak]

dating apps are not a good place to find girls who are worth it, they are just looking for fun, maybe you should do things you like, some sports, get out of the house more, I don't know

Sorry but your posts seem unhelpful and tone-deaf. Dating apps have become very dominant as the most common way that people meet and their popularity is only increasing. The problem is not all about people not loving themselves, and becoming a 40 year old that enjoys solitude doesnt help. Dating is genuinely fucked in modern society and you haven't been helpful in trying to navigate it

 

[Biblom2000]

tbf i think goading people down this path on a pro-choice forum with the phrasing "don't focus on just the problem, try to find a solution" would raise a few disdainful harrumphs from bystanders. might unintentionally trivialize their struggles along with others

That's right, you said it, people like us always take everything very personally because of the experiences we have had, that is a point to work on if you want to get out of here.
Well I didn't say it to anger people or anything like that, but we are not the center of the world to get angry with something a stranger said on the internet.

Sorry but your posts seem unhelpful and tone-deaf. Dating apps have become very dominant as the most common way that people meet and their popularity is only increasing. The problem is not all about people not loving themselves, and becoming a 40 year old that enjoys solitude doesnt help. Dating is genuinely fucked in modern society and you haven't been helpful in trying to navigate it

If believing that makes you feel better, believe it, I believe that loneliness should be treated as a problem that should be treated by each of us personally since no one can or should tell you how to live your life, I believe that victimizing ourselves will not help. Not at all, it's not that we are going to listen to the absolute truth and the answers to your problems on the Internet, obviously I do not detract from the seriousness of the case but I feel that we cloud our vision of things when we should not, after all we are used to that.

 

[iloveeetreeeess1]

same fr, any connection atp

 

[deadzombie6]

I feel the same im literally ready to even run away from my home if I get a boyfriend and if he asks me too....life feels meaningless without love

 

[Eventually_An_Angel]

I'm sorry but that sounds like an incel or femcel thought in this case, I would lie to you if I told you that I never thought of a fantasy like that but if you stop to think about the love that you don't give yourself, no one can give it to you and that is why In the long run, a relationship like that would not work and you would end up disappointed, even so I hope that people like you find what they are looking for.

ima femcel yes

 

[Biblom2000]

ima femcel yes

Whatever you are, you deserve to love yourself and be loved, hugs

 

[Valhala]

Today is my birthday and I'm not happy about it, everyone congratulates me except her and that irritates and makes me even more unhappy. Only because of her and only with her can I imagine staying here, I would like if she was at least aware of how much I really love her and how much I regret my own mistakes.