Loving Someone who is Inherently Better Than You

[overthrone]

So,
There's a guy i've liked for a little bit, though only recently realized it. There's a multitude of reasons i couldn't date him realistically, but the main reason that's holding me back is the fact that he's so inherently good while I'm awful. He's genuinely the kindest person i've ever met, like an actual fucking angel. And then there's me, basically the complete opposite of that. I feel like dating him would simultaneously solve every single problem i've had in my entire life, while also creating thousands of problems for him. That's why I can't say anything. The guilt i would feel if i ruined him would drive me straight to suicide, and destroy everything that's been holding me back from doing it in the first place.
I like him. I like him so much, but I would ruin everything that made me like him in the first place.

 

[Lamentice]

Humans cannot be "angel(s)", people are not entirely morally good, ever, even if they are generally kind & well-intentioned.

Putting someone on an infallible, divine pedestal is the groundwork of [at best] severe dissapointment and disillusionment once that person becomes inevitability demystified, and at worst priming yourself for abuse to someone who may become sadistically aware of the power dynamic. The 2nd is even more likely when this level of idealized worship is stemming from a place of profound self loathing and insecurity.

I've just witnessed way too many people get swept up in this exact dynamic and become victims, humans are just humans always....

 

[Pluto]

 

[Dejected 55]

You don't owe anyone affection, even if they are really nice. That said, if you do like him... I encourage you to give it a try and see how it works. I mean, if you both like each other, why not see what happens?

I've had a couple of times in my life when I've approached women and gotten non-committal responses that led me to believe maybe they did like me but were hesitant because of self-doubt or being hurt in the past. I could be wrong of course... but in those cases I felt bad for both of us because I was losing out on a chance to get to know someone I thought was a good person that I cared about, and she was losing a chance to get to know me as well.

Don't let fear of failure let you from trying and expressing if you like someone. It might not work. But liking someone and not letting them know and giving both of you a chance to try is something you can't undo. You can get over a failed relationship or one that just doesn't really work... but never knowing and "what if" can haunt you.

 

[overthrone]

Humans cannot be "angel(s)", people are not entirely morally good, ever, even if they are generally kind & well-intentioned.

Putting someone on an infallible, divine pedestal is the groundwork of [at best] severe dissapointment and disillusionment once that person becomes inevitability demystified, and at worst priming yourself for abuse to someone who may become sadistically aware of the power dynamic. The 2nd is even more likely when this level of idealized worship is stemming from a place of profound self loathing and insecurity.

I've just witnessed way too many people get swept up in this exact dynamic and become victims, humans are just humans always....

I understand your concern, but retrospectively, you don't know him. I cannot see him posing a threat to me - and that's another reason I'd like to be with him, to see what really makes him human.