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Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
For the people who are wanting to loll themselves over a lost love, understand that you are valid and so are your reasons. Do not let privileged fools on this forum shame you out of your choice, because I see that a lot with this topic.
To start, don't believe these people who tell you "it gets better" when it comes to losing the love of your life. That's always coming out of the mouths of people who truly have never loved so deeply. They then explain a situation with a lover of their past, acting like they can relate to what you're going through, and then when they're done telling their shitty story you laugh because their situation is absolutely nothing like yours but they sure think it is because they want to be quirky and relatable. There is not "somebody for everybody" and if you lost your somebody, then you'll be struggling to find another and you can't fake feelings for someone. I also don't encourage you to settle. There is NO promise you'll find true love again in fact, that's a small chance you'll find exactly what fulfills you again unless you lower your standards and force yourself to enjoy a mediocre woman or man (I don't recommend that) I just simply ignore the "you'll find someone else it gets better" people because I'm on my fourth year and it's gotten worse.When you've done drugs and therapy for years with no results, as well as tried many other things, you're only masking your feelings. If you're in this position too where you truly have tried everything (including dating other people) and you know that person was your soulmate and you can't move on let me share with you what helped me not get over, but accept I cannot fall in love again….
I was going to a group session where men and women well into their forties and even sixties talked about how they lost their true love and never moved on. This has been comforting to know I'm not alone, and I hope it helps you too. Among the idiots who were lucky to find compatibility again and who live in this fantasy land that love is abundant, there are sane people who have gone through exactly what me and you are, and they are in groups for this.
It's not uncommon to never get over someone. It means you truly fell in love with that person and it's hard, I know. It's a very hard thing, but know you aren't alone and through these groups, I learned this is WAY more common than we may realize. There are many people who are married that secretly know they had to settle for that scrap of a person because they couldn't have who they truly love, but they will NEVER tell their spouse that they were the settling option.
I share this because learning this made me feel a bit better about losing my love.

It didn't change my thoughts on killing myself, but it did comfort me knowing so many are struggling with the same thing.

I hope it helps you too
 
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Viafactorum

Viafactorum

Tedious
Jun 9, 2022
80
You can't compare heartbreak. It varies from person to person. Many of the people that say "you will find someone better" may not have loved their partners to the extent you loved yours but I know of many people that never recovered from losing the love of their lives but did move on and settled down. Usually they are people that can separate their love life from their regular life(not saying that should be the case), and these people never seek happiness from their love life(more so they view relationships as a box to tick than something more). You can't really say that people don't understand your perspective because they moved on from their ex, many people do understand the pain and anguish you feel, but their pain didn't fester like yours did. It passed on because the human brain is geared to push painful experiences into the depths of the subconscious so we do not lose our will to live and overcome SI.

Wanting to die because of heartbreak is a very valid reason, historically the act of taking your life after losing the love of your life is something that is shown as a sign of true love(it's been dramatized with several tragic works of fiction revolving around the lovers suicides). I will never claim to understand what you are going through, I pray I do not go through the kind of agony you are going through because it seems like a special kind of hell. I am sorry you are going through this, and I hope you find some way to attain peace. There must be some end to the suffering.
 
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Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
I
You can't compare heartbreak. It varies from person to person. Many of the people that say "you will find someone better" may not have loved their partners to the extent you loved yours but I know of many people that never recovered from losing the love of their lives but did move on and settled down. Usually they are people that can separate their love life from their regular life(not saying that should be the case), and these people never seek happiness from their love life(more so they view relationships as a box to tick than something more). You can't really say that people don't understand your perspective because they moved on from their ex, many people do understand the pain and anguish you feel, but their pain didn't fester like yours did. It passed on because the human brain is geared to push painful experiences into the depths of the subconscious so we do not lose our will to live and overcome SI.

Wanting to die because of heartbreak is a very valid reason, historically the act of taking your life after losing the love of your life is something that is shown as a sign of true love(it's been dramatized with several tragic works of fiction revolving around the lovers suicides). I will never claim to understand what you are going through, I pray I do not go through the kind of agony you are going through because it seems like a special kind of hell. I am sorry you are going through this, and I hope you find some way to attain peace. There must be some end to the suffering.


If they moved on, then they don't understand. You're proving my point. They state their situations and it is nothing like mine or the people I'm in therapy with. If they've moved on, they aren't where I am. It shouldn't be this hard to comprehend unless you too are truly so blind and ignorant as the rest. You can compare heartbreak because trying to act as if one understands my situation then proceeds to explain the exact opposite of that isn't going to benefit anyone.
And yes, those people never moved on, but they settled as you said. I touched on that, and that's manipulative and pathetic. They should tell their spouse they were an option because they couldn't get the cream of the crop. Let's see how well that conversation goes because they deserve to know they were just a settling option, not a first choice.

I hope you never go through this either. I don't wish this on anyone but yes it is a sign of true love when someone dies over this. I've met a few men and women who's spouse died and many of them want to take their own lives because they can't be without that person. Also, this doesn't mean someone lacks self love. The idea that self love is enough is a delusion that quite literally denied human nature. Self love is enough for narcissists, not for people who love themselves, but also want human connection as it's natural
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,270
No one should ever invalidate someone else's reasons for ctb. After all we all experience life differently and something that might be insignificant for one person can ruin the life of another. I can imagine that it must be painful what you are going through. I'm sorry that you have suffered so much in life.
 
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September5th

September5th

You can get better. But the choice is always ours.
May 17, 2022
244
Yeah, I got you.
Finding her was such a miracle in the first place. I was in inertia when she showed up. I took action and we fell in love in about a month. We truly had a special connection. Everything was so special... Even the simple things.

I know that I literally won't find anyone like her again. She was my literal best friend and loved me for what I was, not what I had. I remember trying my best to conquer her heart and I amazingly did hahaha! Won't be happening again. I'll forever live knowing that I wasted my favorite person and I did so fast. Life alone is reality and I need to content myself to it.
 
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Rational man

Rational man

Enlightened
Oct 19, 2021
1,485
Other people shouldn't.tell.us.how to feel. I.had many expectations in love, a fatal mistake. Love, like life is impermanence and is momentary. The future guarantees nothing.
 
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Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
Other people shouldn't.tell.us.how to feel. I.had many expectations in love, a fatal mistake. Love, like life is impermanence and is momentary. The future guarantees nothing.
Thank you for being real
Yeah, I got you.
Finding her was such a miracle in the first place. I was in inertia when she showed up. I took action and we fell in love in about a month. We truly had a special connection. Everything was so special... Even the simple things.

I know that I literally won't find anyone like her again. She was my literal best friend and loved me for what I was, not what I had. I remember trying my best to conquer her heart and I amazingly did hahaha! Won't be happening again. I'll forever live knowing that I wasted my favorite person and I did so fast. Life alone is reality and I need to content myself to it.
I felt this on a very high level. He was my favorite person. Sadly he doesn't care how much I'm hurting. He doesn't care how broken I am deep inside. He did, however ask me to be in his life still and all I could do is cry
 
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Rd2nowhere

Rd2nowhere

Silly Tulip is a color.
Jun 16, 2022
91
You are allowed to feel the way you feel.
 
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S

Spyro24

Member
Jun 24, 2022
68
I guess I can agree. I'm deeply in love with a girl I met online a few weeks ago. She has her problems (BPD, depression, suicidal) but it doesn't make me love her any less.

But does she love me? Probably not. There are up and downsides but it honestly feels like pure torture. I get to catch a glimpse of what it truly feels like to be happy only for it to be taken away again soon after.

I feel like she is the only thing I have left now. The only thing that prevents me from ending it all. But I can't see this being successful. I also told my therapist about her which I deeply regret since I will most likely have to explain why it failed in one of the next sessions. I guess having a few happy moments beats having none at all. At least until I fuck it up and lose her.

To S: if you somehow visit this forum and stumble across this post, you're absolutely perfect and I love you to bits. You will forever be in my heart.
 
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Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
I guess I can agree. I'm deeply in love with a girl I met online a few weeks ago. She has her problems (BPD, depression, suicidal) but it doesn't make me love her any less.

But does she love me? Probably not. There are up and downsides but it honestly feels like pure torture. I get to catch a glimpse of what it truly feels like to be happy only for it to be taken away again soon after.

I feel like she is the only thing I have left now. The only thing that prevents me from ending it all. But I can't see this being successful. I also told my therapist about her which I deeply regret since I will most likely have to explain why it failed in one of the next sessions. I guess having a few happy moments beats having none at all. At least until I fuck it up and lose her.

To S: if you somehow visit this forum and stumble across this post, you're absolutely perfect and I love you to bits. You will forever be in my heart.
I respect how you feel. I still wish I'd never experienced love honestly
 
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S

Spyro24

Member
Jun 24, 2022
68
I respect how you feel. I still wish I'd never experienced love honestly
And just as I said that, she snapped and started to tear me apart... my heart is broken into a million little pieces
 
F

Funeralprincess

Death never turned on me
May 8, 2022
433
My god yes, I hate the "better to have loved and lost..." thing some people regurgitate. I would also have much preferred it if I didn't have to deal with these feelings throughout my life. Once you know how it feels, and you can't go back to it... Ignorance really is bliss. Thank you for your post, I almost never engage those people spouting nonsense, I just want to scream in their face until I lose my voice.
I want to scream at them too. They think they can relate and then they open their mouth and it's totally the opposite
 
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J

Journeytoletgo

Broken and hated 7-14 years long overdue
May 14, 2018
1,608
I haven't experienced the depths of what you have felt however I thought it was love. I had no idea what love is supposed to look like at 21, and I still don't and I don't think I ever will. All I experienced was meaningless sexual relations to cope with loneliness. I never been in love, childhood dysfunction, and puberty bullying shut down my emotions and the first guy I looked to was an abuser but I gave him my trust and body out of naivety. The next two guys I regret sleeping with them without knowing them as ppl, it's gross and I'll take one of them to the grave that nothing never happened between us.

If I could go back in time I'd stay a virgin
 
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