I am weary and I feel worn down. Im tired from within. No more talking to my online friends. No more social interaction with anyone ever. Honestly having to interact or talk is exhausting. I avoid everyone every where and any where. I'm such a fcking loser. I want to evaporate.
Love. I want to feel love, the forever kind where it never ever ends until I am dead, I want to LITERALLY LOVE until I am dead. But being this petty minded I don't feel any positive beautiful emotion or feelings for my whole life, ever since I discovered there are beautiful feeling. I feel like I never felt even the normal kind of love. Why do I expect to feel the forever kind. I can't comprehend everything Im full of dents and warps. How come someone love's me but I can't feel the same thing they feel for me. I have never truly with my whole being loved anyone. I have someone who cares. Friends who care online. This sucks. Why do people who feel love don't get it then a shit like me shows up in this world and is surrounded by kind loving people and MY MIND CANT EVEN COMPREHEND LOVE ANYMORE I HAVE LOST THAT ABILITY AND I CANT FIND ANY PIECE OF ME THAT HAS LOVE FOR OTHERS ANYMORE EVEN IF I WANT TO ITS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DEVELOP OVER TIME!! I HAVE LOST MY FUCKING SOUL. But I perfectly know how to be spiteful and hateful. What is this nonsense. I want to be NORMAL, THE GOOD KIND!!!! I don't want to push away positive things. Im a broken soul.
I'm trying to stay positive in all this insanity.
Love. I want to feel love, the forever kind where it never ever ends until I am dead, I want to LITERALLY LOVE until I am dead. But being this petty minded I don't feel any positive beautiful emotion or feelings for my whole life, ever since I discovered there are beautiful feeling. I feel like I never felt even the normal kind of love. Why do I expect to feel the forever kind. I can't comprehend everything Im full of dents and warps. How come someone love's me but I can't feel the same thing they feel for me. I have never truly with my whole being loved anyone. I have someone who cares. Friends who care online. This sucks. Why do people who feel love don't get it then a shit like me shows up in this world and is surrounded by kind loving people and MY MIND CANT EVEN COMPREHEND LOVE ANYMORE I HAVE LOST THAT ABILITY AND I CANT FIND ANY PIECE OF ME THAT HAS LOVE FOR OTHERS ANYMORE EVEN IF I WANT TO ITS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DEVELOP OVER TIME!! I HAVE LOST MY FUCKING SOUL. But I perfectly know how to be spiteful and hateful. What is this nonsense. I want to be NORMAL, THE GOOD KIND!!!! I don't want to push away positive things. Im a broken soul.
I'm trying to stay positive in all this insanity.
