Venting Love and Loneliness

[7thundercloud]

I really long to feel love. I was in a relationship for three years, and I've talked about it with my mom. She told me she thinks that I wasn't in love, and just had an attachment. I sat and thought to myself, maybe I have never been in love. I mean, I really liked my ex and I cared about her. But I guess she wasn't always on my mind 24/7. The things I hear about love, don't sound like how I felt in that relationship. It honestly felt like a chore, loving her, especially with how bad her mental issues were. Every dark thought and idea she had, she threw it onto me. It got too much to the point I started making the conversation about myself, then we just went back and forth arguing. It was nearly every day. She would always find a way to criticize the things I like, always would stop talking to me and ignore me out of the blue. Told me she hated me. I think I was just attached to the little bit of love she gave to me. I want to fall in love one day, but I don't know if I'll make it. "Love comes when you stop searching for it". I've never really searched for love, and I always felt ugly and socially awkward (I am). Maybe I won't ever experience it, I guess that's okay. I'm afraid I'll be like my ex anyway.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I really long to feel love. I was in a relationship for three years, and I've talked about it with my mom. She told me she thinks that I wasn't in love, and just had an attachment. I sat and thought to myself, maybe I have never been in love. I mean, I really liked my ex and I cared about her. But I guess she wasn't always on my mind 24/7. The things I hear about love, don't sound like how I felt in that relationship. It honestly felt like a chore, loving her, especially with how bad her mental issues were. Every dark thought and idea she had, she threw it onto me. It got too much to the point I started making the conversation about myself, then we just went back and forth arguing. It was nearly every day. She would always find a way to criticize the things I like, always would stop talking to me and ignore me out of the blue. Told me she hated me. I think I was just attached to the little bit of love she gave to me. I want to fall in love one day, but I don't know if I'll make it. "Love comes when you stop searching for it". I've never really searched for love, and I always felt ugly and socially awkward (I am). Maybe I won't ever experience it, I guess that's okay. I'm afraid I'll be like my ex anyway.

Kinda sounds like you're young, if that's true, I wouldn't worry about it too much. Falling in love is great, that much is true, but if a breakup occurs, it's awful, it's why I'm here at least. You'll eventually find love I'm sure, and someone who loves you can see through your flaws to the wonderful person underneath. I had an uncle who hadn't even kissed anyone until about 25, and he wound up marrying that woman. It's never too late, there's stories of many older people finding love.