Losing the ability to love

[Funeralprincess]

losing the ability to love because you gave all of your love to the love of your life who needed up discarding you is a valid reason to commit suicide, I want to start there. But, realizing you lost the ability to love because of that is terrifying. You have people who have never been through that telling you that it's all in your head and you can love, completely disregarding the fact Therapist's have said it is possible, and disregarding the fact you've been like this for years now which makes it challenging to be open about it.
It's as if your soul was sucked away and you're just an empty vessel, slugging through life and not caring about any other human being that may approach or take interest in you.
Losing the ability to love has traumatized me. It's also affected other areas of my life such as friendships, family, and even how I interact with my cat. There is no coming back from this and it's one of the reasons I'm super excited to die when I decide to drink the N. I hate living like this and I can't be pumped full of more drugs and therapy because it is wasting time and money, and there are people who need therapy and drugs who actually CAN recover. It's just stressful sometimes

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Can relate to this. I've just been trudging through life with the hopes I would get to die this year but now that I can't I also can't imagine having to trod along for another two years. It's already been almost two years since my last heartbreak and it still hurts all the same as it did then. With me the actual circumstances weren't even that bad which makes me feel like even more of an ass for getting this emotionally wrecked over my specific circumstance. I hope you find some solution that works for you. I doubt I really will.

 

[8evergo]

losing the ability to love because you gave all of your love to the love of your life who needed up discarding you is a valid reason to commit suicide, I want to start there. But, realizing you lost the ability to love because of that is terrifying. You have people who have never been through that telling you that it's all in your head and you can love, completely disregarding the fact Therapist's have said it is possible, and disregarding the fact you've been like this for years now which makes it challenging to be open about it.
It's as if your soul was sucked away and you're just an empty vessel, slugging through life and not caring about any other human being that may approach or take interest in you.
Losing the ability to love has traumatized me. It's also affected other areas of my life such as friendships, family, and even how I interact with my cat. There is no coming back from this and it's one of the reasons I'm super excited to die when I decide to drink the N. I hate living like this and I can't be pumped full of more drugs and therapy because it is wasting time and money, and there are people who need therapy and drugs who actually CAN recover. It's just stressful sometimes

I lost my heart decades ago I know what you have it's pure hell had to struggle with it for years now I know that I only love myself I'm my best friend and I'm the best friend of the world myself

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you have to endure this. Existence is just so cruel and it is sad how life brings people to this point. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.

 

[Funeralprincess]

I lost my heart decades ago I know what you have it's pure hell had to struggle with it for years now I know that I only love myself I'm my best friend and I'm the best friend of the world myself

Thank GOD you understand me. Thank GOD
Youre

I'm sorry that you have to endure this. Existence is just so cruel and it is sad how life brings people to this point. I hope that you find freedom from what you are going through.

always so sweet to me on here. I hope you find peace too
I a

Can relate to this. I've just been trudging through life with the hopes I would get to die this year but now that I can't I also can't imagine having to trod along for another two years. It's already been almost two years since my last heartbreak and it still hurts all the same as it did then. With me the actual circumstances weren't even that bad which makes me feel like even more of an ass for getting this emotionally wrecked over my specific circumstance. I hope you find some solution that works for you. I doubt I really will.

haven't found a solution other than death. Been four years for me and I still love that man

 

[rainwillneverstop]

I am so sorry you are going through this, it sounds like you have been fighting quite the battle already and it must be devastating when the result has not yet presented itself. It really sounds like you have tried.
I can relate to the ability to love disappearing, it's scary.

Is it just love that has disappeared for you or do you also feel a lack of emotions in general? For me it's mostly the latter.

 

[8evergo]

Thank GOD you understand me. Thank GOD
Youre

yeah allhamdullilla

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I gave it all to someone and got trampled… Not going there again

 

[8evergo]

this world is eaten or be eaten what do you expect because the earth is hell

 

[hellispink]

Giving so much, doing everything right to then be disposed and treated like the worst thing, betrayal is definitely something that changed me forever. I feel unable to love anyone anymore. I became cold and I am freezing in this misery that was created.

 

[ooglah]

I completely understand what you're feeling.

I'm going through a very messy divorce right now and there is no way to emotionally recover from some of the wounds.

 

[Lullaby]

I get it. I've been suicidal for a really long time, for so many different reasons but a recent relationship pretty much is what has pushed me over the edge.

I closed myself off for a couple of years, totally done with dating. Then I met someone by chance and experienced a connection unlike anything I had before. I was genuinely in love, but of course this person was just using me and tossed me away when he got his use out of me.

Now, I'm just truly done. I let my walls done because he wanted me to, I opened myself up and shared all of my deepest struggles and still got stabbed in the heart. It's hard to trust someone after that.

There's never a bad reason for CTB, everyone has their breaking point.

 

[8evergo]

I completely understand what you're feeling.

I'm going through a very messy divorce right now and there is no way to emotionally recover from some of the wounds.

There is no recovery, these are life's scars, which always warn, never heal, thank God

 

[Funeralprincess]

I get it. I've been suicidal for a really long time, for so many different reasons but a recent relationship pretty much is what has pushed me over the edge.

I closed myself off for a couple of years, totally done with dating. Then I met someone by chance and experienced a connection unlike anything I had before. I was genuinely in love, but of course this person was just using me and tossed me away when he got his use out of me.

Now, I'm just truly done. I let my walls done because he wanted me to, I opened myself up and shared all of my deepest struggles and still got stabbed in the heart. It's hard to trust someone after that.

There's never a bad reason for CTB, everyone has their breaking point.

Yep I understand this. I had so much trauma before this man and he came in like a knight in shining armor. Spoiled me, gave me attention, consistency, affection… checked all my boxes and promised my mental health wouldn't be an issue… well, I later found out all the good things he did for me meant nothing because he wasn't that "in love" with me anyways. It destroyed me because when a man gives you bare minimum it's normal to be disappointed but when a man gives you his all and it's a whole lie? You'll NEVER recover from it. I have a very traumatic backstory so I trusted him deeply… he never apologized, but did further insist on leading me on and making me think we'd try again. I've been damaged ever since and now all I dream about is dying. We all have our limits and that was mine. I'm sorry you too have been destroyed by a human. The crazy part is, a lot of people who do this to mentally ill people will feel zero remorse for it and would happily do it to another person

I am so sorry you are going through this, it sounds like you have been fighting quite the battle already and it must be devastating when the result has not yet presented itself. It really sounds like you have tried.
I can relate to the ability to love disappearing, it's scary.

Is it just love that has disappeared for you or do you also feel a lack of emotions in general? For me it's mostly the latter.

I've fought for a while. For me it's the love disappearing and what we had for many years. I haven't been the same since and went through a horrible drug addiction because of him, which then led to multiple overdoses and at one point I'd actually flatlined and was saved. Because of the nature of my situation when I met him, it was so hard to hand over trust, and I did. I'm now very scarred and I've had health issues for four years and counting

 

[8evergo]

ep I understand this. I had so much trauma before this man and he came in like a knight in shining armor. Spoiled me, gave me attention, consistency, affection… checked all my boxes and promised my mental health wouldn't be an issue… well, I later found out all the good things he did for me meant nothing because he wasn't that "in love" with me anyways. It destroyed me because when a man gives you bare minimum it's normal to be disappointed but when a man gives you his all and it's a whole lie? You'll NEVER recover from it. I have a very traumatic backstory so I trusted him deeply… he never apologized, but did further insist on leading me on and making me think we'd try again. I've been damaged ever since and now all I dream about is dying. We all have our limits and that was mine. I'm sorry you too have been destroyed by a human. The crazy part is, a lot of people who do this to mentally ill people will feel zero remorse for it and would happily do it to another person

yes that's so sure they think people with mental health problems are there to crush them i hope you learned something just trust and love yourself.

people are worth nothing just see that you are doing well yourself and who is good to me i am good to that basta

 

[PleaseTakeMeAway]

The only person I've ever even felt attracted to was my ex boyfriend. I feel nothing talking or looking at other people. It hurts so much. I wish he still liked me.

 

[8evergo]

the world is bad and cold you have to deal with iron and dirt and even shit but remember that karma is just is divine everything will come back to you who is good to you also who attacks you make it deep equal to equal that is the law of nature
who is good and fair to me does not make me fear
the law of the nature of the universe

 

[Funeralprincess]

The only person I've ever even felt attracted to was my ex boyfriend. I feel nothing talking or looking at other people. It hurts so much. I wish he still liked me.

Oh honey trust me I understand

 

[Brianiskillingme]

The love of my life died in 2015. I met Brian who is a nacisssist. All he did was lie, cheat and torture me. I am done with love.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I think most of us have been where you are, where are heart has been shattered into pieces. I know I have (although it's been a long time). But, I remember it well. what I would say is that it is more likely that instead of losing your ability to love, you lost your ability to trust. It can take a lot of time to get that back, and it will start to restore in small increments once you can put yourself out there again. In the meantime things will be rough.

 

[watchingthewheels]

"In conversation, it could be said
that after a war, your heart is dead
Well, it's not hard to understand
There is no heart in Harold Land"

-Yes, "Harold Land"

 

[Un-]

As devastated and sorrowful I am over my multiple breakups over the years, I realise I have no one else to blame by myself. I mean.. Fucking think about it, right? Why... Why would anyone want me? I don't even want me. I deserve to be hurt by them. Because I'm an idiot. I was so egotistical to think that those people meant it when they said that they loved me. That they care for me. That they love me as much as I did them.

So I've lost it, too. My ability to love. And good riddance. Looking at myself - how I look, who I am as a person.. This cycle of being lied to and rejected will continue over and over and over and over and over and over again, until I fucking realise that it's me who's the problem. It's better, for some people, not to love. For some people, love will never come to them. Some people die alone. It is what it is. I'm tired of trying to fight against the glaring fucking.. Futile. Futile. The flowers wilting down so they can laugh at me.. To think we spend our lives convinced we understand agony.