Help Losing my virginity

[seekingoblivion]

Rule #1 to overcome social anxiety

Don't think. It's only gymnastics if you make it so.

How exactly is one supposed to not think at the same time heed all the numerous instructions regarding socializing?

 

[Youthanasia]

How exactly is one supposed to not think at the same time heed all the numerous instructions regarding socializing?

Subconscious memory of good ideas beats rational thinking during early sexual interaction

This also goes the other way around, by the way. You can't run away from your subconscious at all. That's where some of the stupidest claims such as 'girls like jackasses' is born. Self limitations will sabotage you, and women can notice that better than men.

Girls dont like jackasses but if they had to choose between a jackass and a virgin (even figuratively speaking) they'd still go with the jackass unless we're talking about two ugly ducks maybe

The difference being, the jackass has self esteem, that's like 90% of what makes a dude attractive for a female brain

 

[seekingoblivion]

Subconscious memory of good ideas beats rational thinking during early sexual interaction

And how do you conjure up this subconscious memory of good ideas?

 

[Nullm]

Subconscious memory of good ideas beats rational thinking during early sexual interaction

This also goes the other way around, by the way. You can't run away from your subconscious at all. That's where some of the stupidest claims such as 'girls like jackasses' is born. Self limitations will sabotage you, and women can notice that better than men.

Girls dont like jackasses but if they had to choose between a jackass and a virgin (even figuratively speaking) they'd still go with the jackass unless we're talking about two ugly ducks maybe

The difference being, the jackass has self esteem, that's like 90% of what makes a dude attractive for a female brain

You describe it as if these escorts care about this stuff
They are performers who will deliver their part anyway
The point about jackass and a virgin is simply simplfying otherwise a situation which contains many more factors

 

[Youthanasia]

You don't conjure the subconscious, it conjures itself through body language and sometimes spoken language. I'm no shrink but i'm pretty sure triggers exist as well, use this mechanism for something useful.

@Nullm I don't follow your point. Yeah sure i simplified it but i'm simplifying everything in here. More the reason to not think that any of this is mental gymnastics

 

[Mud.]

I live in Amsterdam and although I've never visited a hooker myself, it's impossible to live here and stay completely oblivious about the way it works.

So…in the red light district, the prostitutes sit/stand behind windows. You can walk past them and check them out. Once you've made the decision to approach one, you go to her and tell her what you want and she will give you a price (if she agrees with your wishes of course).

Then you go in, she closes the curtains and puts on the red light (which is basically a 'do not disturb sign').

I can't tell you how much they ask exactly but If I had to make a guess, I'd say something like 100-150 euros. I can tell you that they are super clean (and they'll expect the same from you). They pay taxes. They have their own labour union and the pimps work for them, not the other way around.

One last thing, if you do decide to come to Amsterdam, there are two more (smaller) 'red light districts' in the city. One is located on the Ruysdaelkade (you can check with streetview, search for 'Amsterdam Ruysdaelkade 123' or something). Everything works the same I guess but they will probably be cheaper. Just like weed is much more expensive in the heart of the city.

Btw
There's even an escort service especially for virgins in Amsterdam. I saw the owner on tv a while ago. It costs a fortune though. Something like 1000-1500 euros for a F***

 

[TAW122]

Do they have male escorts for women i wonder, or do women not really need it cause there is always a guy around willing to? When are you planning to do this?

Hopefully sooner than later, preferably before my 30th birthday. I don't want to be a wizard... I'm thinking of the escort option but failing that somehow, then Nevada, USA or Amsterdam, NL, or Germany.

@seekingoblivion I had the same problems when I was younger. I used to have a short fuse and do blow up in public or other settings. I have since calmed down in the last few years. In fact, I've become calm to the fact that I will die by my own hand at some day (suicide).

@Youthanasia Good points about how women perceive men in the sexual market. I'll make note of that. I'm pretty much the opposite of jackass and am a virgin.

@Mud. Thanks for the information and I will consider that if I ever go to Amsterdam. I'll most likely just get the cheaper option as traveling overseas will be really expensive and would rather not have to throw another 1K-1.5K euros on top of that. As of now, I don't have the ability to go overseas for that, but it is something that I have in mind in the future.

 

[SomebodyBroken]

Subconscious memory of good ideas beats rational thinking during early sexual interaction

This also goes the other way around, by the way. You can't run away from your subconscious at all. That's where some of the stupidest claims such as 'girls like jackasses' is born. Self limitations will sabotage you, and women can notice that better than men.

Girls dont like jackasses but if they had to choose between a jackass and a virgin (even figuratively speaking) they'd still go with the jackass unless we're talking about two ugly ducks maybe

The difference being, the jackass has self esteem, that's like 90% of what makes a dude attractive for a female brain

if you are too rational and understand that sex will not bring you anything - the subconscious mind only hinders. I tried to relocate myself, to prove that it is important. but ... the subconscious mind is hard to deceive and you come to the conclusion that sex is not important (time and pleasure are not rational)
Well, perhaps this is the opinion of a person who has tried sex with guys and girls (2-3 times) without emotion. Yes, the reaction of the body was of course (orgasm), but .... I never understand why people are looking for "one-night sex". to meet with a loved one is yes, a rarity. but in other ways I don't understand ...

 

[Youthanasia]

"Sex is not important" is the worst nonsense you could somehow try to rationally explain. It promotes production of immeasurable amount of substances in your body that ranges from simply making you feel good to making you less prone to sickness, not to mention the collateral benefits that shrinks like to tell everyone.

Can you live without sex? Sure, plenty of people do that but if you asked me i'd say most are just frustrated by something.

I mentioned earlier that it is a dick-brain experience, you need both in good shape to actually enjoy it. Dick makes babies, brain gets you high.

Sex is comparable to gourmet food, there's different things and ways to do, and all the people involved must be into it(even vanilla), otherwise it will just be meh, like a luxurious jerk off.

The best kind of sex imo is with a girlfriend that shares some of your kinks. Casual sex usially lacks teamwork and synergy unless you're handpicking a rich hoe that trained to do all sorts of things AND happens to be in a good mood with you.

I've never had sex with a hoe to be honest. I think it's waste of money and isn't nearly as good as actually earned sex. I love the flirting aspect of the game and I love to slowly introduce kinky practices to a partner, and allow it to happen the other way around.

An ex girlfriend really liked to fantasize with rape. At first i was like 'wtf', I was much younger, but slowly that led us to some of the best orgasms we'll have in our life time with a lot of name calling, slapping, public embarrassment and many other things. And we weren't meant to be at all, but in the bed/car/shower, we were a dream team.

It's been a while since I last had sex, I don't have the money to hang out nowadays. But one thing that is still on my to do list before dying is some hardcore roleplay, like having a chick wear a collar and say meow or moo while I treat her like a pet. And fuck why not the other way around, I get a boner just thinking about it

Sex is overrated, sex is still good, but most importantly, it takes effort to enjoy it, and once you nail that, it's easily the best thing to with someone you like. Games/hobbies/whatever will always end in sex because well it is better. Which is why I'm slightly against getting hoes - and because of that, why I feel like i shouldn't tell you it's going to be absolutely mind-blowing.

edit: By the way, don't be a jackass. When building your 'social' you, you just need positive the aspects such as self-esteem, confidence, some imposing attitude. They're programmed to like that, just like we're programmed to like ass. It's possible to be a romantic gentleman and get laid, you just have to make them deserve certain things as well

 

[seekingoblivion]

You don't conjure the subconscious, it conjures itself through body language and sometimes spoken language. I'm no shrink but i'm pretty sure triggers exist as well, use this mechanism for something useful.

What does this mean?

 

[Youthanasia]

What does this mean?

It means your body do most of the talking and if you're worrying about say how ugly you are, or how amazing her boobs are, she'll know it and that will affect her judgement

Just enjoy the conversation and get to know her. Having good vibes on you is always helpful. You'll be amazed on how simple and pleasant it is after a few times.

 

[TAW122]

As of now, I've decided to hold off on the idea of losing my virginity via escort. The reasons are that I am unable to find a one that is within my budget, while making sure that I am able to trust it (not being a scam, or LE sting). I've looked into Nevada brothels and it just seems too prohibitively expensive for me. I have a few hundred to spare for such an endeavor, but I'm afraid that is simply not enough.

I'm really stumped and I need to know a way to get what I'm looking for within my 1) budget, 2) not get scammed/robbed, and 3) also not get into legal trouble. Until I figure out all the details, I'm afraid I'm still going to be a virgin for the foreseeable future. Thanks for all advice and I'm sorry I am unable to make good use of it for my circumstances... :(