Method Looking for observer for my SN demise.

[Ob La Dee]

I'm a new member. I stumbled upon this group while researching suicide methods, something I have been doing for quite some time. Last December I impulsively tried to take my life. I tried to hang myself with a nylon cellphone cord over a door and when I blacked out the cord snapped and I woke up on the floor. I obviously didn't think it through.

I was recently considering ethylene glycol, the main ingredient in antifreeze. If you Google ethylene glycol poisoning, you will learn the following: "Early symptoms include intoxication, vomiting and abdominal pain. Later symptoms may include a decreased level of consciousness, headache, and seizures. Long term outcomes may include kidney failure and brain damage."

My concern with this method was the amount of time/pain involved, along with the fact that if it is unsuccessful (and it probably would be) I would be left with serious kidney/brain damage.

I was recently considering pong pong seeds (posted about this in another thread) but several members talked me out of this, as it is a slow, agonizing death. Thank you fellow SS members, you are absolutely right.

While searching the forums here I found sodium nitrite. I recalled reading about SN in the Peaceful Pill Handbook, and I decided to explore this possibility. After a GREAT deal of reading, I have decided to go with this method and have ordered my supplies.

I was originally planning to do it in my car, because I live in a boarding house and have a roommate who is always home, but a couple of members talked me out of it and suggested a cheap motel instead. Either way, I will feel dreadfully alone. Which brings me to my next point.

I would like to document my death from this method. In reading through hundreds of posts on this topic I have learned that there is a serious lack of documented cases, and I would like to contribute because it would be helpful to so many others who are considering this method.

So I would like to get to know someone who would be willing to observe me on this journey, through Zoom or Google Meets or whatever. Ideally, someone who is familiar with this method, maybe even considering it. If you are such a person, or know someone who is, please contact me. Not only will we be achieving something which will be useful to so many others, but I will feel less alone when I decide to go through with it.

I originally planned on doing it next Friday, August 13th, but I have decided to put it off for some time because I need to tie up a few loose ends and I want to give myself time to meet some potential observers.

I can assure you that I have given this a great deal of thought. I want to document my demise because, as far as I can see, there is only one documented case on this entire site. So if you or someone you know would like to take this journey with me, please reach out to me on this thread and we can talk and get to know one another.

Peace.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

but I will feel less alone when I decide to go through with it.

If you ever want to talk before you go, I'm happy to listen and share. Peace.

 

[Ob La Dee]

If you ever want to talk before you go, I'm happy to listen and share. Peace.

Thanks. I'm sure I will take you up on that.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

I've done this before for a friend in February 2020.
Same method.
I would love to help

 

[Ob La Dee]

I've done this before for a friend in February 2020.
Same method.
I would love to help

Out of curiosity, did you post your observations on this site or did you just keep your friend company at the end?

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Out of curiosity, did you post your observations on this site or did you just keep your friend company at the end?

I was online with her .
I still have our last chats, but because there where children involved I decided not to post it.
I did send her story to people here who were interested

 

[Ob La Dee]

I was online with her .
I still have our last chats, but because there where children involved I decided not to post it.
I did send her story to people here who were interested

Did she go out struggling? Because in the account I read in the SN thread the young woman appeared to be struggling/gasping for air. That worries me a bit, but not enough for me to change my mind about this method.

 

[sadpinky]

I'm a new member. I stumbled upon this group while researching suicide methods, something I have been doing for quite some time. Last December I impulsively tried to take my life. I tried to hang myself with a nylon cellphone cord over a door and when I blacked out the cord snapped and I woke up on the floor. I obviously didn't think it through.

I was recently considering ethylene glycol, the main ingredient in antifreeze. If you Google ethylene glycol poisoning, you will learn the following: "Early symptoms include intoxication, vomiting and abdominal pain. Later symptoms may include a decreased level of consciousness, headache, and seizures. Long term outcomes may include kidney failure and brain damage."

My concern with this method was the amount of time/pain involved, along with the fact that if it is unsuccessful (and it probably would be) I would be left with serious kidney/brain damage.

I was recently considering pong pong seeds (posted about this in another thread) but several members talked me out of this, as it is a slow, agonizing death. Thank you fellow SS members, you are absolutely right.

While searching the forums here I found sodium nitrite. I recalled reading about SN in the Peaceful Pill Handbook, and I decided to explore this possibility. After a GREAT deal of reading, I have decided to go with this method and have ordered my supplies.

I was originally planning to do it in my car, because I live in a boarding house and have a roommate who is always home, but a couple of members talked me out of it and suggested a cheap motel instead. Either way, I will feel dreadfully alone. Which brings me to my next point.

I would like to document my death from this method. In reading through hundreds of posts on this topic I have learned that there is a serious lack of documented cases, and I would like to contribute because it would be helpful to so many others who are considering this method.

So I would like to get to know someone who would be willing to observe me on this journey, through Zoom or Google Meets or whatever. Ideally, someone who is familiar with this method, maybe even considering it. If you are such a person, or know someone who is, please contact me. Not only will we be achieving something which will be useful to so many others, but I will feel less alone when I decide to go through with it.

I originally planned on doing it next Friday, August 13th, but I have decided to put it off for some time because I need to tie up a few loose ends and I want to give myself time to meet some potential observers.

I can assure you that I have given this a great deal of thought. I want to document my demise because, as far as I can see, there is only one documented case on this entire site. So if you or someone you know would like to take this journey with me, please reach out to me on this thread and we can talk and get to know one another.

Peace.

Let's pm, I'd like to possibly help be your observer but I'd like us both to be safe

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

Did she go out struggling? Because in the account I read in the SN thread the young woman appeared to be struggling/gasping for air. That worries me a bit, but not enough for me to change my mind about this method.

Based on a number of accounts of SN deaths here, it seems that when the person is gasping for air, its after the person has lost consciousness. While no-one can 100% confirm that the person is unaware, the lack of other things happening such as witnessing flailing limbs etc. would lead me to conclude that is the case.

 

[lotus11]

Hey, I would be interested, I am considering the same method

 

[sadpinky]

just messaged you back

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

Here are some SN goodbye threads:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/farewell.32144/

​

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/catching-that-bus-sn-tonight.25956/

​

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/first-ever-sn-documentation.29734/

 

[Ob La Dee]

Here are some SN goodbye threads:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/farewell.32144/

​

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/catching-that-bus-sn-tonight.25956/

​

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/first-ever-sn-documentation.29734/

Thank you so much for posting that. I know it was confirmed that @Moonicide passed, but what about the other two souls? Did either of them reappear on the site to talk about an unsuccessful attempt? I'm not afraid of succeeding at all, it's the consequences of failing that worry me.

Hey, I would be interested, I am considering the same method

Let's talk some more privately. Were you the Lotus observing @Moonicide when she ctb'ed? I am hoping to accomplish the exact same thing. Someone just offered to do it with me, but I told him that's not what I am looking for. I need an intelligent person who is familiar with the method and this site to report what they observe.

I am still hoping that the SN I purchased is pure enough. It says "99% pure" on the label, but it still worries me. I am limited in where I can receive packages from because I live in a boarding house with 17 other women, all of whom know that I am suicidal due to my past failed attempts. So I cannot have a package with "danger" or "caution" written on it sent to me here. I went with a company called Pro Cure sold on Amazon.

Thanks for touching base with me.

 

[Peel_the_Banana]

Thank you so much for posting that. I know it was confirmed that @Moonicide passed, but what about the other two souls? Did either of them reappear on the site to talk about an unsuccessful attempt? I'm not afraid of succeeding at all, it's the consequences of failing that worry me.

@phezel was @Myforevercharlie friend. You can ask her details but I'm guessing no since there were no further posts after that.

@trynacbt made quite a few friends during her time here including some of the moderators and no-one has ever mentioned her returning.

There are a few other completed SN exit threads I've come across but trying to search for them deliberately can be a bit of a challenge. @Stan was also a completed exit.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stans-guide-to-sn.27535/

 

[Ob La Dee]

@phezel was @Myforevercharlie friend. You can ask her details but I'm guessing no since there were no further posts after that.

@trynacbt made quite a few friends during her time here including some of the moderators and no-one has ever mentioned her returning.

There are a few other completed SN exit threads I've come across but trying to search for them deliberately can be a bit of a challenge. @Stan was also a completed exit.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/stans-guide-to-sn.27535/

Thanks for the clarification. I am having trouble searching this site on my phone, the hourglass at the top right is there, but when I click it nothing happens.

Stan's Guide is one of the first things I read when I got here. Very informative. Suicide wiki was also helpful. That's where I found out that one of the psych meds I'm on is a very good antiemetic, so that's one less thing I have to worry about. Oh, the irony of that.

I was online with her .
I still have our last chats, but because there where children involved I decided not to post it.
I did send her story to people here who were interested

Would you be willing to tell me what you observed privately?

 

[Butterfly1998]

SN is considered to be a painful death, it can take up to 24 hours until death kicks in. I read some scientific documentation and they all came to the conclusion that in most cases it's painful. It's like roulette which organs shut down first.

 

[sadpinky]

SN is considered to be a painful death, it can take up to 24 hours until death kicks in. I read some scientific documentation and they all came to the conclusion that in most cases it's painful. It's like roulette which organs shut down first.

I'm not sure you're research is accurate, do you have any links?

 

[BornBrief]

That SN is opened and sketchy. I ordered it before. There is no seal and it is very fine and while I opened it there was"SN" stuck in the sides of the cap and falling out. I would cancel if you can and seek a refund if possible.

 

[Ob La Dee]

That SN is opened and sketchy. I ordered it before. There is no seal and it is very fine and while I opened it there was"SN" stuck in the sides of the cap and falling out. I would cancel if you can and seek a refund if possible.

Thanks for letting me know. I will send it back after it gets here, it's too late to cancel it.
Does anyone know if Wal Mart carries SN their stores? I see it available online but I would prefer to go buy it in the store.

 

[sadpinky]

Thanks for letting me know. I will send it back after it gets here, it's too late to cancel it.
Does anyone know if Wal Mart carries SN their stores? I see it available online but I would prefer to go buy it in the store.

They do not, SN is a chemical sold for curing fish and meats. Mainly sold for lab work but not available in stores due to its misuse

 

[Ob La Dee]

Thanks for letting me know. I will send it back after it gets here, it's too late to cancel it.
Does anyone know if Wal Mart carries SN their stores? I see it available online but I would prefer to go buy it in the store.

Nevermind, I called Walmart and several other places, aside from online SN is hard to find. As I said, I can't run the risk of something labelled "caution" or "danger" sent to me because I live in a boarding house with 17 women and they're all aware of my suicide attempts. Suggestions?

 

[Lost Magic]

Nevermind, I called Walmart and several other places, aside from online SN is hard to find. As I said, I can't run the risk of something labelled "caution" or "danger" sent to me because I live in a boarding house with 17 women and they're all aware of my suicide attempts. Suggestions?

Yes. I suggest you do a blood test on that SN you are getting. The blood should turn a dark colour if it is pure. Look up SN blood test in the search bar for more information. In fact you should do a test with any SN you buy.


If you are buying more Nitrite, could you not get it sent to a local store or depot instead of address?

 

[Ob La Dee]

If you are buying more Nitrite, could you not get it sent to a local store or depot instead of address?

That didn't occur to me. How would I go about that?

 

[Lost Magic]

That didn't occur to me. How would I go about that?

Depends on your location. Are you in the States? I live in the UK and we can have our courier services leave our packages at a local collection point.
For example this is what Amazon says:

• When ordering, if you think you won't be available to receive the delivery, you can choose to collect your parcel at a Pickup location, if your order is eligible.

So you could tell the company you are buying from to leave your package at a depot or a collection point (if they have any available) instead of your actual address.

 

[Ob La Dee]

When ordering, if you think you won't be available to receive the delivery, you can choose to collect your parcel at a Pickup location, if your order is eligible.

Hmm...I don't ever recall seeing that option here in the U.S. I'm actually considering getting a P.O. box so that all packages will be held at the post office, but most chemical companies ship FedEx which kind of defeats the purpose.

 

[Lost Magic]

Hmm...I don't ever recall seeing that option here in the U.S. I'm actually considering getting a P.O. box so that all packages will be held at the post office, but most chemical companies ship FedEx which kind of defeats the purpose.

hmm, yeah that is a conundrum. Tbh, you should be able to just order to your own address. It is a federal offence to open other peoples mail anyway. The package I got for my SN never said caution or danger on the package. Seriously, I think you are being paranoid for no reason here. In fact you should make another post asking if anybody's sodium nitrite had any danger or warning stickers on them. I bet you will find that none have.

 

[Apricity]

It is a federal offence to open other peoples mail anyway.

Unless the facility she lives in has you sign a release stating that they can open your mail to check for contraband. Some do that.

 

[Lost Magic]

fed ex does have drop off centres though. Maybe you could ask one of the companies to use that service if they have it available. https://www.fedex.com/en-us/shipping/drop-off-package.html

 

[Ob La Dee]

you should make another post asking if anybody's sodium nitrite had any danger or warning stickers on them. I bet you will find that none have

I contacted one company and made up quite a story to ask them how their packages are labeled and I was told that it will have a "danger" label on it. And while it is a federal offense to open other people's mail I do have to be careful. If one of these women intercepts my package and sees that, word spreads fast around here (17 women, so you can just imagine) and my daughter will be called. I have a history of failed suicide attempts and hospitalizations so I'm not being paranoid at all, just super careful. I feel like this is my last chance to get it right.

 

[Ob La Dee]

fed ex does have drop off centres though. Maybe you could ask one of the companies to use that service if they have it available. https://www.fedex.com/en-us/shipping/drop-off-package.html

Well, that's more for when you're sending a package, not receiving one. But thank you.