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J

justtryingtocease

Member
May 20, 2025
32
Not a suicide pact, but someone who I can plan with, preferably on another platform with easier to use chat function.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.
 
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Reactions: eggsausagerice, ruggatt, PanaxMan and 4 others
The Dead Line

The Dead Line

Spit On My Grave
Apr 7, 2026
59
That is illegal
 
  • Informative
  • Aww..
  • Yay!
Reactions: eggsausagerice, purebliss, Xi-Xi and 2 others
SMxj9

SMxj9

From 🇧🇷
Mar 28, 2026
71
i'm in a similar state, almost all the time watching something or reading this website, my apartment was a mess yesterday, because i can't keep it clean. All my teeth have restorations because of not taking proper care.
 
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Reactions: eggsausagerice, RinneOfAragon and justtryingtocease
P

PanaxMan

Water fasting until death (Currently homeless)
Apr 11, 2023
641
Not a suicide pact, but someone who I can plan with, preferably on another platform with easier to use chat function.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.
Most countries it's illegal ;-;
 
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  • Aww..
Reactions: gottacheckout and justtryingtocease
R

ReaperSeeker

Member
Jan 13, 2026
9
Not a suicide pact, but someone who I can plan with, preferably on another platform with easier to use chat function.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.
Looking for a buddy too

I don't know if there is a way to private chat.
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,443
Looking for a buddy too

I don't know if there is a way to private chat.

you need to write more messages, then the privat chat will be unlocked for you
 
Last edited:
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Reactions: gottacheckout, GarGoil and Forveleth
E

Earthfree

Member
Jun 22, 2025
7
Not a suicide pact, but someone who I can plan with, preferably on another platform with easier to use chat function.
For context, I havent left my house since January.
I shower and brush my teeth once a week (disgusting, I know).
All I do is sleep, wake up, eat and watch tiktoks, youtube videos, and game every waking second because if i stop, i think about my reality and why would i want to do that.
I havent been taking my meds either.
So Im looking to lock in, start taking my meds for my depression and adhd etcetra, and start actually planning and making an effort towards suicide.
Ive been living in an avoidant state towards everything, including suicide and doing research/ preparing for it.
And because I live in Japan, where lethal drugs are hard to access, my only option for when im impulsive is partial hanging which im too much of a pussy to do.
Anyway, Im looking for a buddy.
You dont have to be looking to ctb soon, though I'd help you do research if youd like.
Intrrested
I think you need to write at least 30 posts
Good to know! Thanks for that info, was wondering why I couldn't private message on here
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout
R

ReaperSeeker

Member
Jan 13, 2026
9
Wow, is there a way to find a counter or something?

lol that sort of blows since I'm more of an introvert. But I guess that's what it's going to take then.

Thanks for the info everyone.
I think you need to write at least 30 posts
Do replies count towards posts? Or you need to start them?
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout
darksouls

darksouls

Illuminated
May 10, 2025
3,443
Wow, is there a way to find a counter or something?

lol that sort of blows since I'm more of an introvert. But I guess that's what it's going to take then.

Thanks for the info everyone.

Do replies count towards posts? Or you need to start them?

yes, replies count,
you can also post pictures, videos or only smilies
 
  • Love
Reactions: gottacheckout
R

ReaperSeeker

Member
Jan 13, 2026
9
Oh wow thanks!

Hopefully I'll get there 🥺
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout
gothbird

gothbird

𝙿𝚘𝚎𝚝 𝙶𝚒𝚛𝚕
Mar 16, 2025
507
There is a thread here to find buddies, and as others have said you can PM when you get more active.
However: rada rada rada...illegal...be safe...legal jargon...and also there are lots a creeps who will look for buddies because they have more nefarious intentions, so be extra safe when finding someone to "lock in" with. There have been a couple of cases of "buddies" just being literal murderers, or perverts, or both.

Just because you're wanting to die doesn't mean all your safety should go out the window. See you in the stars!
 
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Reactions: chaoschuckler, gardenoflonely, eggsausagerice and 1 other person
R

ReaperSeeker

Member
Jan 13, 2026
9
There is a thread here to find buddies, and as others have said you can PM when you get more active.
However: rada rada rada...illegal...be safe...legal jargon...and also there are lots a creeps who will look for buddies because they have more nefarious intentions, so be extra safe when finding someone to "lock in" with. There have been a couple of cases of "buddies" just being literal murderers, or perverts, or both.

Just because you're wanting to die doesn't mean all your safety should go out the window. See you in the stars!
That is a shame. To me the idea of these places is to find others that understand and maybe also find alternatives to suicide.

But in the world we live in those with malicious intent will prey on those of us who are in desperate despair. Thanks for the heads up, I'll try to keep that in mind.
 
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Reactions: gottacheckout
Momonga

Momonga

Member
Mar 24, 2026
9
Hi there, we can become buddy if you would like to! I am Asian and I have ADHD too haha. We have many things in common and we can talk about everything including the method of ctb.
 
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Reactions: chaoschuckler

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