Loneliness pushing one to suicide

[Ruffian]

I wonder though if some people are hard-wired to be more comfortable alone. I know even as a young child I always needed alone time away from friends and family. I'm to the point where experiencing the feeling of loneliness is better than trying to fit in with people I share no interests with or are using me for stuff. And there are few interests I really share with most. I like Philosophers and religious studies, but I can really get into American Horror Story and Stranger Things. It's kind of hard finding people with the same range.

 

[JimFord99]

Possibly it is the solitude which is comforting and calming. No point pushing to try to fit in, you won't. Simple as that. Solitude is peaceful. Although it can hurt.

 

[Ruffian]

Possibly it is the solitude which is comforting and calming. No point pushing to try to fit in, you won't. Simple as that. Solitude is peaceful. Although it can hurt.

Well, I think I've met my match for just saying it like it is. Thank you sir!

 

[TheFinalCountdown]

Realising that there isn't a single person in the world that actually wants to spend time with you is a pretty compelling reason to commit suicide

 

[andy69]

I am totally alone. I never really had friends. I was in a relationship, but he ended it in April when he found someone else. The breakup and the loneliness I am left with is driving me to suicide.

 

[Alchemist]

My loneliness is a big reason for my desire to ctb. I had IRL "friends," but none of them really cared, so I cut contact by choice. Now I'm completely alone (with the exception of my bf and my SS friends).

True, people only want us around when they need something from us. People never spoke to me unless it was about homework and projects, as soon as we were on different classes or left school they never said a word to me again. Same with people from previous jobs, unless I contacted them, they would not even talk to me except when asking for stuff. In my latest job I didn't even pretend to make friends with anyone since I know how it will end. Hell, even friends I met on other sites don't speak to me anymore because they are busy with their lives. Blocking them isn't even necessary, just by not starting conversation is enough. In every place, even here, the burden of starting a conversation is on me, so I'm tired of having to beg for attention.

 

[sadsadinfp]

I wonder though if some people are hard-wired to be more comfortable alone. I know even as a young child I always needed alone time away from friends and family. I'm to the point where experiencing the feeling of loneliness is better than trying to fit in with people I share no interests with or are using me for stuff.

I'm the same way. I am lonely, but I don't really mind it. I enjoy being alone a lot, with my books and stuff. I have to admit I honestly find something romantic in being lonely. Unfortunately I have other completely different reasons for wanting to ctb.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

True, people only want us around when they need something from us. People never spoke to me unless it was about homework and projects, as soon as we were on different classes or left school they never said a word to me again. Same with people from previous jobs, unless I contacted them, they would not even talk to me except when asking for stuff. In my latest job I didn't even pretend to make friends with anyone since I know how it will end. Hell, even friends I met on other sites don't speak to me anymore because they are busy with their lives. Blocking them isn't even necessary, just by not starting conversation is enough. In every place, even here, the burden of starting a conversation is on me, so I'm tired of having to beg for attention.

I relate so hard to this...I feel like most (possibly all) of my IRL friends from college were friends out of convenience. The dorm floor I lived on during my freshman year had a lot of Asians. Most of the Asians in my school stuck together, so I found "friends." My college also had a bunch of required classes all students had to take, and some of those "friends" were in my classes. Because we lived so close, it was convenient to eat lunch together or drop by someone's dorm room to talk about a class we were taking together. But now that we are no longer on the same campus and no longer have the shared topic of what classes we are taking, I realize how superficial those connections really were.

 

[Alchemist]

I relate so hard to this...I feel like most (possibly all) of my IRL friends from college were friends out of convenience. The dorm floor I lived on during my freshman year had a lot of Asians. Most of the Asians in my school stuck together, so I found "friends." My college also had a bunch of required classes all students had to take, and some of those "friends" were in my classes. Because we lived so close, it was convenient to eat lunch together or drop by someone's dorm room to talk about a class we were taking together. But now that we are no longer on the same campus and no longer have the shared shared topic of what classes we are taking, I realize how superficial those connections really were.

Superficial, that's the word. Only were interaction was unavoidable they'd engage in it. When there was a team project I was always the last one to get a partner because everyone went with their friends and the teacher would just pair me with anyone who remained. Work is no different. I can go and spend the whole day without talking to my coworkers except for work related reasons. I cannot even handle meeting new people on the internet because of how tired I am of the same thing repeating time after time.

 

[ScorpiusDragon]

Superficial, that's the word. Only were interaction was unavoidable they'd engage in it. When there was a team project I was always the last one to get a partner because everyone went with their friends and the teacher would just pair me with anyone who remained. Work is no different. I can go and spend the whole day without talking to my coworkers except for work related reasons. I cannot even handle meeting new people on the internet because of how tired I am of the same thing repeating time after time.

I actively try not to get too close to anyone in my workplace because I've been fucked over by coworkers in my past workplace. My only friends are on the suicide forum. I'm aware of the possibility that the friendships might not last (whether they end by someone's suicide or drifting apart naturally). But I'm throwing my heart into the friendships again for reasons I do not even fully understand. I know I might get hurt again, but I can't imagine not devoting my heart to friendships I truly feel connected in.

 

[Alchemist]

I actively try not to get too close to anyone in my workplace because I've been fucked over by coworkers in my past workplace. My only friends are on the suicide forum. I'm aware of the possibility that the friendships might not last (whether they end by someone's suicide or drifting apart naturally). But I'm throwing my heart into the friendships again for reasons I do not even fully understand.

Same here, I have no one outside and I don't even bother to interact anymore because I know people out there cannot be trusted.

 

[wanttodie.nz]

Same here, I have no one outside and I don't even bother to interact anymore because I know people out there cannot be trusted.

I have always maintained that the only person you can ever trust in this world is yourself. I learned that valuable lesson from one of my "friends" who would turn on me when it was sociably acceptable.

 

[bath salts]

Major reason why I am going to ctb. Been lonely for my entire life due to emotionally neglectful and abusive parents, also resulting in an inability to properly socialize and a crippling inferiority complex making me feel like nobody should be close to me anyways.

 

[Istanbulite]

My loneliness is a big reason for my desire to ctb. I had IRL "friends," but none of them really cared, so I cut contact by choice. Now I'm completely alone (with the exception of my bf and my SS friends).

Same with the exception of romantic partner (that's by choice too)