Venting Loneliness is why I might ctb

[nightlygem]

Being moved to somewhere away from everyone I love is horrible. I wish I could go back, but there's no possible way for me to return. I have no stable income. This is my home for an indefinite amount of time.

I hate it here so much. Told that my meds are the reason I am this way. Told that if I express my desire to ctb I'm going to get forced back into a 5150. Why must I be shunned and punished for this? I didn't ask to be here.

I have no friends and I can't get my license because my car is broken down. I can't drive anywhere I want because I'm under constant surveillance. I'm so lonely. I'm alone with my thoughts. No one to confide in. I'm stuck in this loop of feeling better and then realizing that things will never be the same and I will forever be alone. Alone. Alone. Alone…

I'm so lonely. And that is why I want to ctb. I have friends, sure. But none of them know how desperate I am to die. The minute I say something, I'm shunned and I'm told to call for help. I don't want help, I want someone to listen to me.

I'm so alone.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Not sure what a 5150 is.
I don't think anyone on these pages wants 'help' as such unless they seek practical assistance with planning. Just write your thoughts down here. No-one will judge you.

Sometimes my posts don't get read at all but
it feels like a safe space to vent without the usual sanctimonious voices trying to effect a certain conclusion.

Just use this place like a journal. Vent away x

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that loneliness really is painful for many who exist here, existence really is too cruel. But anyway best wishes.