Venting Loneliness, inability to relate to others.

[Eren]

I understand. I'm not a social person even when I want to be. I'm always the quiet one in the room, so everyone else makes friends and I never do. Gaming can make it easier to connect to an online community. Warcraft for example has vast community and guild interactions revolve around the game primary, so you don't need to worry about finding things to talk about. If you have low to moderate social need group chat during raids can help you feel like part of the group. you may not make deep connections this way, but it can be a place to talk to others about a specific common interest.

If you are or get good at online gaming people will seek you out to talk, and will lead the conversation to share gaming info. If you're female all the reclusive nerds will be more than happy to talk, and lead the conversation.

Thanks for the tips

This is what I have tried for years, I play counter strike to interact with other people, and even speaking by voice over the internet I have a hard time relating. Also, I notice that my way of relating is not how others relate at my age, it is as if in that sense I had stayed in my preadolescence/adolescence (I am 25 years old)

If you're female all the reclusive nerds will be more than happy to talk, and lead the conversation.

I am male

 

[Ghost2211]

Thanks for the tips

This is what I have tried for years, I play counter strike to interact with other people, and even speaking by voice over the internet I have a hard time relating. Also, I notice that my way of relating is not how others relate at my age, it is as if in that sense I had stayed in my preadolescence/adolescence (I am 25 years old)




I am male

when you say you can't connect to others what is missing in the connection? For example I connect to you. We relate to a common topic, have similar interests, and I care for your well being (I would notice and feel sad if you were gone). Granted, it's not a deep social connection, but that is basically what online/superficial connections are. If It's not possible to socially feel connections to others can they be intellectualized?

 

[Eren]

when you say you can't connect to others what is missing in the connection? For example I connect to you. We relate to a common topic, have similar interests, and I care for your well being (I would notice and feel sad if you were gone). Granted, it's not a deep social connection, but that is basically what online/superficial connections are. If It's not possible to socially feel connections to others can they be intellectualized?

It's easy to have a message conversation on a forum, since I can take as long as I want to respond.

As soon as the relationship is something closer (like speaking into the microphone) it is much more difficult. I just can't keep up with the "beat" when socializing.

 

[Ghost2211]

It's easy to have a message conversation on a forum, since I can take as long as I want to respond.

As soon as the relationship is something closer (like speaking into the microphone) it is much more difficult. I just can't keep up with the "beat" when socializing.

I see. Hopefully you can feel valued here then

 

[overcomingfear]

Do you guys just get mad envious of others because they have partners? I sure do.
I had gfs and sexual relationships but I feel that I am cursed becauee I am narrow shouldered. Basically not manly enough as the average man. And I am looked down upon by other women even though I have a decent face. I want to die because I do not have this need meet. It rots me from inside out as I have decent mind but at what use if I cannot have this basic damn need fulfilled like the majority of people.
I feel like a leper.
Having narrow shoulders is like having small horns for deers.
At the end of the day I came to the conclusion that money, or status, or good character won't solve this problem as a women would love more to have her ass pounded by a broad shouldered muscle guy than by another guy. Is natural.
To be aware that you cannot pick up women like others sucks big time. Is like I am caught between the worlds.
Is not even that hard, I can talk with them and charm them and stuff as I know how to speak but sexual relationships are based on looks, the rest is just hard work that doesn't always pay wich is stupid.
More of this: confidence of most people doesn't come from skills or brains or any other thing but from looks. You'll see the ease with wich they state the most stupid things as they know people will forgive them and still CONNECT with them simply because of how they look. If there is a lottery of looks, I want a refund.
As a guy once said: at the end of the day you will know what number you are as a man based on the attention you get.
It is not science mates, women want a big chunk of muscle to pound them then they settle for the rich guy, is like a unwritten rule. That is after they give the most healthy offspring to the musclehead and you get what is left.
There is no mistery, no supernatural forces. The big guys get the best meat.
Before you ge on your high white horse about this and lecture me, think about what is your uncouncious endgoal in each relationship you had: to go to frickin bed! The rest is optional. As you still roll your eyes about some stupid shit she cares about that is emotional or makes no sense in real world.

That was my rant. I hope you can relate. What do you think about this?

It's of course up to you what relationships to have, but it's so superficial. Dating girls that u don't care about only to fuck them. It's like masturbation but feels better. Foolish to think all girls are the same and want an athelte. Shallow thinking

 

[SipSop]

It's of course up to you what relationships to have, but it's so superficial. Dating girls that u don't care about only to fuck them. It's like masturbation but feels better. Foolish to think all girls are the same and want an athelte. Shallow thinking

Well, having a good looking body improves your odds of meeting and keeping somebody. Looks do matter. You know the saying: "I wish I could find a guy just like you"? It means I wish the guy would have your character but looks better. There is some uncouncious defense mechanism that compels women to rationalise why they pick the big guys, the good looking guys. Perhaps fear that people would call them shallow, like you called me.
I don't mind that you called me that. I played the game, I won, I got burned. One thing is certain, looking good is more important than character in sexual matters wich includes soap opera fantasies, romantic dinners, walks in the park etc. Because that way you have some value that you can brag about to your friends. Is like politics.
At the end of the day the good looking guy would have scored 10 times till a normie fights to keep somebody with his mighty character.

 

[overcomingfear]

Well, having a good looking body improves your odds of meeting and keeping somebody. Looks do matter. You know the saying: "I wish I could find a guy just like you"? It means I wish the guy would have your character but looks better. There is some uncouncious defense mechanism that compels women to rationalise why they pick the big guys, the good looking guys. Perhaps fear that people would call them shallow, like you called me.
I don't mind that you called me that. I played the game, I won, I got burned. One thing is certain, looking good is more important than character in sexual matters wich includes soap opera fantasies, romantic dinners, walks in the park etc. Because that way you have some value that you can brag about to your friends. Is like politics.
At the end of the day the good looking guy would have scored 10 times till a normie fights to keep somebody with his mighty character.

"I wish i could find a guy like u" but better looks is true yeah. Have u heard of gymcels? Dudes got abs and in great shape but can't get a girl. Their face isn't attractive and muscle can't compensate. If a girl doesn't like me for my character personally then i don't need her. I'd pick an unattractive girl with a good character rather than a bitchy supermodel

 

[SipSop]

"I wish i could find a guy like u" but better looks is true yeah. Have u heard of gymcels? Dudes got abs and in great shape but can't get a girl. Their face isn't attractive and muscle can't compensate. If a girl doesn't like me for my character personally then i don't need her. I'd pick an unattractive girl with a good character rather than a bitchy supermodel

If you're guy who works out you will know what I am talking about. Namely, I amde my own program based on how my body reacts to it. I had cut the sugar to minimum and begin to take natural protein shakes made by myself, a easy recipe wich didn't failed me once (banana, egg albumen and milk, the protein is mostly in the egg). I had abs, muscles and stuff and I did got attention. I am on this website because of a girl I wanted for myself. I do not deny any of my previous statements. Looks give you options faster than anything else.
I talk about this because I do not want to try anymore, is too much to work for me. Other have it easier. And I failed to get what I wanted.

 

[Eren]

"I wish i could find a guy like u" but better looks is true yeah. Have u heard of gymcels? Dudes got abs and in great shape but can't get a girl. Their face isn't attractive and muscle can't compensate. If a girl doesn't like me for my character personally then i don't need her. I'd pick an unattractive girl with a good character rather than a bitchy supermodel

I do not consider myself superficial, but it is undeniable that the physical influences a lot when it comes to finding a partner.

 

[overcomingfear]

If you're guy who works out you will know what I am talking about. Namely, I amde my own program based on how my body reacts to it. I had cut the sugar to minimum and begin to take natural protein shakes made by myself, a easy recipe wich didn't failed me once (banana, egg albumen and milk, the protein is mostly in the egg). I had abs, muscles and stuff and I did got attention. I am on this website because of a girl I wanted for myself. I do not deny any of my previous statements. Looks give you options faster than anything else.
I talk about this because I do not want to try anymore, is too much to work for me. Other have it easier. And I failed to get what I wanted.

Chasing girls won't make you happy. You are not in control of other people and they can leave at any time. That's why i don't try dating

 

[SipSop]

Chasing girls won't make you happy. You are not in control of other people and they can leave at any time. That's why i don't try dating

Well, I do not know you but good for you. If this works for you and improves your life at least a little bit then I am glad for you.
For a straight guy like me what I can say is that we need women in our lives in order to bring us some balance. To bring support emotionally, to give sex, and make us feel like we are worth something as men. To live only for this is lame, but we need this as men in order to have a basic need fulfilled, then we can do other stuff like build businesses, projects, research, have hobbies, travel. I did not made us like this, this is how we are born. I wish it wasnt like this but it is. And like in any other thing, we do get bored of people, but in order to be bored first you must have that need meet. It's like a prize. The thrill is in the "hunt". Date, charm, have sex, spend time together, get bored, move to the next target. Is good if you can find somebody whom you like and you get to have advantage in the relationship. Like you to be the better one, more valuable. Especially as a man. Otherwise there will be fights for small things and stuff like that, it will happen eventually, it always does. About that one, it drives me insane that I didn't had that one wich I falled in love with. And I personally, would trade everything to get what I want. I learned this on the hard way my friend. To be a man means to get what you want, to win, to have your way at any cost. That's why I was talking about those big fuking guys, life is easier for them. They get to be feared or respected by other man easier, women bend over for them easier. And you do not need to have some special character, some basic decency is enough. Everything is enhanced by looks. I did not made the rules, this is how things work.

 

[overcomingfear]

Well, I do not know you but good for you. If this works for you and improves your life at least a little bit then I am glad for you.
For a straight guy like me what I can say is that we need women in our lives in order to bring us some balance. To bring support emotionally, to give sex, and make us feel like we are worth something as men. To live only for this is lame, but we need this as men in order to have a basic need fulfilled, then we can do other stuff like build businesses, projects, research, have hobbies, travel. I did not made us like this, this is how we are born. I wish it wasnt like this but it is. And like in any other thing, we do get bored of people, but in order to be bored first you must have that need meet. It's like a prize. The thrill is in the "hunt". Date, charm, have sex, spend time together, get bored, move to the next target. Is good if you can find somebody whom you like and you get to have advantage in the relationship. Like you to be the better one, more valuable. Especially as a man. Otherwise there will be fights for small things and stuff like that, it will happen eventually, it always does. About that one, it drives me insane that I didn't had that one wich I falled in love with. And I personally, would trade everything to get what I want. I learned this on the hard way my friend. To be a man means to get what you want, to win, to have your way at any cost. That's why I was talking about those big fuking guys, life is easier for them. They get to be feared or respected by other man easier, women bend over for them easier. And you do not need to have some special character, some basic decency is enough. Everything is enhanced by looks. I did not made the rules, this is how things work.

I'm straight too. Is taking advantage of girls decent? I don't think so. I don't need to prove myself to nobody, they'll always say it's not enough. Ego covers up insecurity. Always having things your way is stubborn, u won't keep good and functional relationships that way. This sick game of looks disgusts me, I'm not playing

 

[SipSop]

I'm straight too. Is taking advantage of girls decent? I don't think so. I don't need to prove myself to nobody, they'll always say it's not enough. Ego covers up insecurity. Always having things your way is stubborn, u won't keep good and functional relationships that way. This sick game of looks disgusts me, I'm not playing

Well, I respect your opinion.
Is not taking advantage of them if is consensual. This is how we are made.
Ego shows you your needs, wich will be satisfied temporary. But never enough. And that is how life works. You keep working to gain more and keep what you already have. I wish I was more stubborn, I am more the kind of guy wich takes the best option, even if is not mine, for the team. And about the game of looks, you do not have a choice. We are clasified, based on our specifications, directly or indirecly. Looks, interests, job, what you own, how you behave, etc. You do it too. We are in a hyerarchy even if we like it or not. Some people are just better than others. Perhaps we would not be on this site if we were better in some fields of our lifes. Think about it.

 

[Eren]

Chasing girls won't make you happy. You are not in control of other people and they can leave at any time. That's why i don't try dating

In my case what I would like is not to "chase girls" but a stable partner would really give me more reasons to live.

 

[overcomingfear]

In my case what I would like is not to "chase girls" but a stable partner would really give me more reasons to live.

Of course, same, don't we all want that

In my case what I would like is not to "chase girls" but a stable partner would really give me more reasons to live.

Same, its true for most people. but i don't trust people anymore so that won't happen

 

[Dcap1]

Talk about being messed up, I hate being alone and hate being around a group of people. I'm really only ok
one on one with a few people.

 

[shadow7891]

It's a terrible thing to live in loneliness and is definitely one of the reasons I want to ctb and nothing can replace physical companionship; not work, not religion, not social media, video games, exercise, nothing.