Loneliness can crush you

[death137]

We are social animal. I know that there are exceptions but most of us crave human connection. And when you don't get it or lack it then it can crush you. There are different reasons why someone lack it but I believe the main one is being ugly. I'm an ugly and short man. I understand why ppl don't want me and I don't bother them. I don't blame them but it too should be understandable why I feel hurt by it. As far as I remember I I didn't asked to have this desire or be born unattractive or be born at all. I've dealt a bad hand and I've to greatly suffer from it. I never had a girlfriend. My irl friends don't genuinely want me and I've been trying to distance myself from them and at this point it's safe to say we aren't friends anymore. I don't go to events. I sometimes leave the house to buy some things or take a walk and I often look at the ground when walking. People think I'm shy. It's even hard to look at my family eyes because I feel too ugly. I'm 25 and didn't experience many things most ppl my age did. I don't even have a degree because I quit university many times because of social anxiety and depression. This hurts me. I also never had a job which doesn't bother me much but I sometimes feel bad when ppl my age or younger talk about their job. When you are ugly and short your life in general will probably be bad. The probability of a miracle happening is like 0.1%. So I know it's over for me or never even began.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is such an unfair life and I know that loneliness can be painful for many. It is sad how so many people are disadvantaged through no fault of their own. I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably.

 

[AloneInCollege]

Loneliness is one of the strongest emotions I feel every day.

 

[Seeking_Peace]

Loneliness has to be the biggest cause to ctb. If every human had a romantic partner I think ctb would be extremely rare.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

life is harsh, cruel and unfair. It's unfortunate that you have to suffer for something out of your control

 

[Zegers]

I don't agree, maybe the more top guys have more random sex, but nm more. I've known "ugly" guys with plenty of friends and so on.

 

[BasqueClown]

I always shy so I took loneliness as natural
Got into college and started to have kissing and dates and stuff
When I started to gain trust in myself I go to that nightclub and got trapped in a toxic relationship 3 years later
Broke up and since then I'm trying to recundstruct my life and got isolated again
Yeah I talk with people in the internet but isn't the same
I'm too

 

[HappyForever?]

I'm here for this very reason, and I've grown to be jealous of attractive people and resentful of everyone. People don't even hesitate to judge others by their appearances, lusting after the attractive and despising the less attractive, while being completely oblivious that they themselves are more often than not the victims of said judgement. I don't really care about friends anymore. While their presence can momentarily distract me from the crushing loneliness, they simply cannot make me feel the intense high of being loved romantically.

 

[DreamingOfAutumn]

For me loneliness is one of those problems which is exacerbated by all the other issues that I have. Loneliness in and of itself might be tolerable, but when combined with memories of long term abuse, the fact that I've never really known what it's like to not feel lonely or alienated on some level, and that I don't really enjoy much in life besides distracting myself, well it becomes much worse. At least this is the case with me anyway, problems that all compound each other.

It's not due to a lack of trying to find other things which could make me happy or make me feel better, but rather that nothing else proved sufficient. I'd imagine that if you took a monkey and forced it to experience similar conditions, then you'd get a comparable response.

 

[jamie_]

ur loneliness much like mine is more likely down to your anxiety and depression than it is any belief to do with how you look. people don't form relationships purely out of how somebody looks just take your friends from infancy or your family.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

If every human had a romantic partner I think ctb would be extremely rare.

I have to strongly disagree with this. There are a lot of threads with people talking about how they don't want to ctb b/c they don't want to hurt their partner, or how can they ctb in such a way that their partner doesn't find them, or they want to ctb b/c their partner is abusive / unfaithful / uncaring. And then there are those people who want to be alone; being "forced" to have a romantic partner might push them to ctb.

Romantic partners are NOT a one-size-fits-all solution!

 

[Seeking_Peace]

I have to strongly disagree with this. There are a lot of threads with people talking about how they don't want to ctb b/c they don't want to hurt their partner, or how can they ctb in such a way that their partner doesn't find them, or they want to ctb b/c their partner is abusive / unfaithful / uncaring. And then there are those people who want to be alone; being "forced" to have a romantic partner might push them to ctb.

Romantic partners are NOT a one-size-fits-all solution!

I could also find threads with users who want to ctb due to loneliness... We can both agree to disagree.

 

[Well-Edited Chaos]

People don't even hesitate to judge others by their appearances, lusting after the attractive and despising the less attractive, while being completely oblivious that they themselves are more often than not the victims of said judgement.

You argument is spot-on. I'd add that most of the people judging the less attractive forget that those people are less attractive because of bad luck (their parents were less attractive, or they have some medical condition [like a cleft lip or severe acne] that makes them less attractive, or they don't have the money to get the surgery / treatment / trendy clothes and fancy cars that might make them more attractive to others).

I could also find threads with users who want to ctb due to loneliness... We can both agree to disagree.

You're right - there are absolutely people who want to ctb due to loneliness. But not every lonely person wants to ctb.

I'm not disagreeing about the power of relationships, just the idea that a romantic relationship - by itself - has the power to pull people out of their depression.

 

[outrider567]

Loneliness has to be the biggest cause to ctb. If every human had a romantic partner I think ctb would be extremely rare.

I Certainly Agree, but when you lose your long term romantic partner to death, loneliness hits an all time high, along with depression

 

[plesh]

Honestly I'm just at the point where I feel it all the time to the point it's normal.
Some days though (like today) it get's difficult.

 

[death137]

ur loneliness much like mine is more likely down to your anxiety and depression than it is any belief to do with how you look. people don't form relationships purely out of how somebody looks just take your friends from infancy or your family.

I've anxiety and depression mainly because I'm ugly and short. There might be very few ppl who don't mind how you look but most do. You might get friends but they would probably not see you equal. I understand things aren't simple. There are many factors to play. But there are certain factors which have great power when we speak in general way. Also magnitude varies. For example romantic relationship is more affected by looks than friendship. Some ppl are lonely mainly because of lack of romantic relationship than friendship but sadly for some of us we are going to die alone.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Trouble is, feeling ugly has a massive impact on your confidence- which in turn makes it incredibly difficult to interact with people.

I do feel your pain. I've always felt uncomfortable in my own skin. Partly due to looks I suppose. I'm very self conscious about being overweight- my own doing- of course. I lost a lot of weight many years back and it did make a difference. Still, I know I will never be pretty.

Honestly, I don't think it bothers me quite as much now. It's terribly pessimistic but I don't really trust relationships much- friends/romantic- even family to an extent. I've sort of resigned myself to living a solitary life, which takes the pressure off trying to impress other people or to fit in. Probably not a very healthy solution though!

 

[Cosmic dust]

I am also here for this reason, people of both genders see me as ugly and uninteresting and don't want to interact. I never had many friends, never had an active social life, never had a sexual life and never had a romantic partner.

I suposse that the fact that I have less social experience makes me more uninteresting to others. I always grab any chance I have to socialize, but those are very far in between and don't help much. Some things never change.

What crushes me sometimes its too see how its so easy for most people and how little I mean for other people, like seeing a coworker that I have know for years and that says I am considered a friend, suddenly hanging out in the weekend with the new people that just joined last month, when they never wanted to this with me, and of course, with no one of these people ever inviting me, as if I am not an equal. Or seeing a single woman that I have know for years to fall in love with guy she met in the last few weeks, just because he is more pretty and one of the cool, not lonely, kids.

 

[Someone123]

Loneliness has to be the biggest cause to ctb. If every human had a romantic partner I think ctb would be extremely rare.

A romantic partner is not the only cure- you need a network of support, ideally family, friends, and a romantic partner.

 

[outatime_85]

Speaking as someone whose ability to socialize was basically beaten out of them at a young age and who has minimal to zero social skills, a non-existent family support structure, and whose family does not contact them ever, unless there is an emergency (maybe), I have come to realize that the way I have chosen to live, while not optimal or healthy in society's eyes, has over many decades become normal to me.

That being said, I think for many, loneliness is not the best thing to feel, and for others, it has probably just become like any other day, something to get through.

 

[Bodydysmorphia]

I have voluntarily decided not to socialize much since I have bad experience with people who exploited/manipulated me. You really can't trust many people.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

My failed thread about coping with this (pls guys): https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/dealing-with-being-a-pwwarbdho.92950/#post-1639145

 

[Journeytoletgo]

It's the anxiety and depression. Some are more sensitive in life than others. I too been depressive since 14. I'm tired


Anxiety because of ugliness and depression because of ugliness you can't win

 

[Walilamdzii]

For me it's abandonment more than loneliness... I used to do almost everything alone but didn't feel lonely... I've been ostracised by the group of friends I later made, which is a worse feeling.