greatgooglymoogly
Member
- Dec 1, 2023
- 79
The feeling is so strange. Having tried to kill myself before and with every day that passes just feeling like more and more out of place because the world is still spinning as it would have without me and I should have left it long ago, I don't feel like I'm supposed to be here, i thought my time on earth was ending months ago and I feel like that trajectory just kept going and I feel less and less like part of all this as I go and it sucks
Sorry I'm high, just been thinking about this a lot
I've been doing so much dxm it isn't even funny I seem immune to the nausea most people get and I'm gonna buy some more and do as much as physically possible and see if that gets me depersonalized enough to do it bc I'm pretty damn close tn
I wish I didn't care how I go at this point I've been so picky and trying so hard to get SN but even if I do get it I don't have an antiemetic and it'll be just as ugly and shitty as trying to hang myself or cut or whatever I don't freaking care anymore
I just want to go somewhere and be alone and think forever I don't even know man I'm sick of disappointing myself and always being scared of hurting others
I just wanna float into the afterlife dude I don't want to have to sit and feel my blood turn brown and my skin go blue, I don't know why I'm putting in all this effort, if I'm lucky I'll just get hit by a damn bus on my way back to uni tomorrow
Honestly I am just gonna take a crapton of robotabs and dissolve sn in a water bottle and just chug it once I get low enough, I don't even care, I saw some article about a piece of shit pedo who killed himself in the courtroom like that and He died, idc if it's an outlier and there's no antiemetic I'm just gonna throw myself in it I don't care what happens to me I just want to try dammit
Sorry I'm high, just been thinking about this a lot
I've been doing so much dxm it isn't even funny I seem immune to the nausea most people get and I'm gonna buy some more and do as much as physically possible and see if that gets me depersonalized enough to do it bc I'm pretty damn close tn
I wish I didn't care how I go at this point I've been so picky and trying so hard to get SN but even if I do get it I don't have an antiemetic and it'll be just as ugly and shitty as trying to hang myself or cut or whatever I don't freaking care anymore
I just want to go somewhere and be alone and think forever I don't even know man I'm sick of disappointing myself and always being scared of hurting others
I just wanna float into the afterlife dude I don't want to have to sit and feel my blood turn brown and my skin go blue, I don't know why I'm putting in all this effort, if I'm lucky I'll just get hit by a damn bus on my way back to uni tomorrow
Honestly I am just gonna take a crapton of robotabs and dissolve sn in a water bottle and just chug it once I get low enough, I don't even care, I saw some article about a piece of shit pedo who killed himself in the courtroom like that and He died, idc if it's an outlier and there's no antiemetic I'm just gonna throw myself in it I don't care what happens to me I just want to try dammit
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