Discussion Living a contradiction or a paradox

[Life sucks]

Hi,
I think many here do the same or to better word it, living in two ways, you try to find what make you live (money, food.. etc) because you can't ctb right now and the other is trying to find a way to ctb and end your life.

While it might looks OK, the problem can be anxiety because you want to end the life but you feel forced to continue. You know its useless and you are just prolonging it but you get trapped. Not to mention the pressure of life and its shit and other toxic humans you might interact with.

 

[BellaKAT]

this reminds me of how it's hard to live when you want to ctb.
chosing to live is an investment in yourself. it's hard to invest in yourself and put int that work when you feel like you're going to kill yourself. It's kinda of cycle of "what's the point".

 

[millefeui]

I understand the feeling of being forced to continue on living very well. By all means, I am forcing myself, but the alternative is leaving someone I care behind, suffering because I am not there for her anymore. That said, the fact I am set on killing myself makes it really difficult for me to push myself into working or trying to find a work. I only draw (a lot) because I enjoy it, otherwise I would probably do nothing the whole day.

Oh yeah, humans are awful. So much hate, toxicity, prejudice.