Live for the sake of others?

[Mary5689]

To be honest, I would very much like to leave this life in the near future, but I feel responsible for my little sister. She needs help to pass exams, go to college. Yes, I have parents, but I seem to have to help her. From me a lot.There is half a year left and I will graduate and go to work. This responsibility is to help the family with money. I have poor health and I do not know if I can work normally or not. So many unknowns. Besides, there is also a grandfather and grandmother. I would not want them to be hurt after my leaving. I don't know what to do. I think I'm so useless. I have to live for the sake of others and forget about my desires. And I so want to leave this life and not be depressed all life, but this responsibility makes me live ... I do not know how to be. Thanks to everyone who has read and forgive me, I do not know the language well(

 

[Noctis]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm in a similar situation; I feel like I'm just killing time until certain people die, then I'll feel like it's okay to go away.

I know it sucks feeling obligated to stick around, but it means you care about those people more than yourself, and that's an admirable trait.

 

[sadeyesWA]

I live with this too. I have parents, a wife and pets who I love very much. I'm also the chief breadwinner. I rationalize it like this: my wife is still young enough to find another partner and has a good social circle. I know my pets will be cared for. My parents are the real issue for me. They know I'm in a bad place, but I know my passing will crush them. I think the only answer is just to know that they'll hurt, no matter what. For me, the longer I wait the worse it'll be for everyone in the long run. You must remember that other people will find ways to cope, even if you think they won't.

 

[Julgran]

Know that you are not selfish, because we were all put here on this planet to go through life's trials and tribulations. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to have this burden on your shoulders

How do you feel life progressing past your sister's graduation? Could your life turn out for the better then?

 

[Mary5689]

Know that you are not selfish, because we were all put here on this planet to go through life's trials and tribulations. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you to have this burden on your shoulders

How do you feel life progressing past your sister's graduation? Could your life turn out for the better then?

Maybe everything will change for the better. I will still stay because I want my family to be happy. When I understand that they can cope with the loss of me, then I can safely leave. Thank you for your support)
Thank you all for your support) I love everyone here very much. I think I can handle it all. And thanks for sharing your feelings. It means a lot to me. This site is so dear to me ..

 

[fox_wannabe]

That is very noble of you. I think you should try things you like to make life worth living before you depart. Your family would like you to be happy, I hope. Listen to good music, watch netflix or movies, do things you find worth doing. Watch memes lol, anything tbh. Time will pass really fast if you just focus on what you are doing. That is what helps me. Also the fact that it will all be over someday calms me.

I stay because grief would be too much for my clueless family. I will leave them when I become too much of burden. When food will start become sparse or if war breaks. They would sacrifice for me their wealth, to support life I do not want, that is tragedy. Idk If I do it right, If what I am doing is correct or maybe I will make huge mistake. But I do not see myself in this world, I am so misanthropic towards humans as whole that I do not see myself live for long.

Your English is good in my opinion.

 

[LookieLou]

I had hard conversations about this after my attempt 3 years ago. I told people they should stop thinking they could help someone who didn't want help. That it was/is beyond their abilities as a human to perform miracles. People want to help things get better for those they love, but it's just not possible sometimes. I've told my 32yo daughter to listen, to empathize, but to guard her heart.

If I look at it from my end I see that they're worried but that they will heal as best they can. I can't be responsible for the pain they'll go through after I'm gone. I can't be a miracle worker either. Its my belief that we're here on this planet to learn hard lessons. I can't learn other peoples' lessons for them, even those I love the most.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I'm really just holding on until my father passes. I know nobody has an obligation to live for others, I just don't want to think about what my dad would go through without me.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine it must be painful living just for the sake of others. I'm sorry you are in this situation, it is like being trapped when you want to ctb and yet you feel like you cant. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I'm really just holding on until my father passes. I know nobody has an obligation to live for others, I just don't want to think about what my dad would go through without me.

You are such a good human being. Respect