Discussion Little help on making a decision with SN

[Samael96]

So this past 2 weeks should've been my last days, since i had everything planned to CTB with SN upon being alone in my home for that amount of time.
Unfortunately i have been procrastinating my death, and everytime i had to drink it in my mind i kept repeating myself "mm let's enjoy today and tomorrow when i wake up i will feel if it's today the day".. day after day.. it's like havig everything ready, having read on all the possibilities waiting for you on the otherside, the probability of reincarnating and finally starting a new life (yes i believe in reincarnation and yes it is real, researched a lot on it for the past 6 months), feeling the power to end my life anytime has actually made those 2 weeks pass by with me still being here.
(There is no option of whether i should or not CTB since i am ill and it's the only thing that i can do.)

My parents should come back this weekend so you might think i still have tomorrow, the problem is my sister texted me she is coming tomorrow evening and staying for the weekend to finish some things.

Now, the issue here is only the fact that IF something happens after drinking and i lose consciousness but then i wake up and somehow i don't die cause i don't know my body somehow survived, i'd be dizzy and she would find me all blue due to cyanosis and you can imagine the shit show i'd have to go through after that.

We talking about 50ml of water with 20g of SN after fasting for nearly 15-16hrs.
I know well that the probability of succeeding are veeery high so i shouldn't fail in those circumstances since there is everything needed for it to go through, but i love to always have that comfort time to react to other outcomes.


So the question is: do i still go for it not caring of the chances of failing? Or do i just wait for another time after they all come and i get to have a medium time gap?
Problem is that when they come back, and everything starts again i would only get max 6hrs alone at home (in rare cases from 6 to 8hrs), do you think that is enough time?
Would you take that amount of time as doable?



Of course in all this story it's my fault for waiting, and even tho the idea of being reborn again is what i truly want cause i need a healthy body, the only thing stopping me so far has been knowing that i will lose my current self, don't know if you get what i mean? Like yeah, many children remember their past lives but after 4 years mark they forget it so i would not be the same me ever again. It's not that i am afraid, it's more that it's making me kinda sad?
When you are not in a hurry to CTB and you are given time management, it's the worse.. cause you literally skip days

I'd love to hear thoughts and advices

 

[Jrmull1993]

If you have any doubt about exiting life early, it most likely means it's not your time.

Only you can decide if and when suicide is right for you.

I wish you the best of luck in whichever road you choose

 

[Darkover]

can you prove reincarnation is real? no who could with a complete memeory wipe and new start there's no way of knowing, i'd wait into you know you've got the place to yourself for a few days

 

[Samael96]

If you have any doubt about exiting life early, it most likely means it's not your time.

Only you can decide if and when suicide is right for you.

I wish you the best of luck in whichever road you choose

That's not my case, it's purely about time management, that's all.

can you prove reincarnation is real? no who could with a complete memeory wipe and new start there's no way of knowing, i'd wait into you know you've got the place to yourself for a few days

Evidence given so far is more than enough to prove it, but either way i can't wait for another time to have my place for a few days since it might happen sometime on October if i'm lucky and if i'm not than on december and that is waaaay too far

 

[👁️👃👁️]

can you prove reincarnation is real? no who could with a complete memeory wipe and new start there's no way of knowing, i'd wait into you know you've got the place to yourself for a few days

Of all the things that they were talking about is this the only thing that you brought up? Do you always have to argue against people's beliefs? Can't you just let people believe what they believe? I went to the comment section because I knew for a fact there would be somebody in here trying to question their beliefs. Let people believe what they believe.

 

[Darkover]

Can't you just let people believe what they believe?

i want to know the truth and only truth not some made up bs but there is only one way to find out, OP said op know for certain reincarnation real and i ask what made OP believe that, i want to know if we are destined to dissolve into eternal nothingness forever ceasing to exist upon death, we may not fully understand how consciousness is produced, consciousness is almost certainly a result of neuron's in our brain/to a much lesser degree our gut. consciousness doesn't exist in 99% of baryonic matter. It's pretty localized to planet earth (and probably a handful of other planets in other galaxies) in an immensely massive universe. yhere's definitely still a lot we don't know about the universe, but there's a lot more scientific evidence indicating life (consciousness) ends when electricity stops running through our neurons because our heart stopped. None of the unknowns in science show any indication in life after death or that consciousness is fundamental in anyway to the universe

 

[FuneralCry]

I think that personally I would wait for another time if there is a chance of the method failing. Failing ctb is what I fear, it sounds so horrible failing an attempt. I wish you the best.

 

[Samael96]

I think that personally I would wait for another time if there is a chance of the method failing. Failing ctb is what I fear, it sounds so horrible failing an attempt. I wish you the best.

To be fair failing does not make you feel bad at all, i mean you get dizziness and some nausea, but nothing else major as stated by people that have failed.

Problem is wait for what kind of other time? Like i will only get 6 hrs time from now on, are those enough? mmm

 

[Idontmatter]

So this past 2 weeks should've been my last days, since i had everything planned to CTB with SN upon being alone in my home for that amount of time.
Unfortunately i have been procrastinating my death, and everytime i had to drink it in my mind i kept repeating myself "mm let's enjoy today and tomorrow when i wake up i will feel if it's today the day".. day after day.. it's like havig everything ready, having read on all the possibilities waiting for you on the otherside, the probability of reincarnating and finally starting a new life (yes i believe in reincarnation and yes it is real, researched a lot on it for the past 6 months), feeling the power to end my life anytime has actually made those 2 weeks pass by with me still being here.
(There is no option of whether i should or not CTB since i am ill and it's the only thing that i can do.)

My parents should come back this weekend so you might think i still have tomorrow, the problem is my sister texted me she is coming tomorrow evening and staying for the weekend to finish some things.

Now, the issue here is only the fact that IF something happens after drinking and i lose consciousness but then i wake up and somehow i don't die cause i don't know my body somehow survived, i'd be dizzy and she would find me all blue due to cyanosis and you can imagine the shit show i'd have to go through after that.

We talking about 50ml of water with 20g of SN after fasting for nearly 15-16hrs.
I know well that the probability of succeeding are veeery high so i shouldn't fail in those circumstances since there is everything needed for it to go through, but i love to always have that comfort time to react to other outcomes.


So the question is: do i still go for it not caring of the chances of failing? Or do i just wait for another time after they all come and i get to have a medium time gap?
Problem is that when they come back, and everything starts again i would only get max 6hrs alone at home (in rare cases from 6 to 8hrs), do you think that is enough time?
Would you take that amount of time as doable?



Of course in all this story it's my fault for waiting, and even tho the idea of being reborn again is what i truly want cause i need a healthy body, the only thing stopping me so far has been knowing that i will lose my current self, don't know if you get what i mean? Like yeah, many children remember their past lives but after 4 years mark they forget it so i would not be the same me ever again. It's not that i am afraid, it's more that it's making me kinda sad?
When you are not in a hurry to CTB and you are given time management, it's the worse.. cause you literally skip days

I'd love to hear thoughts and advices

I've always wondered about reincarnation, especially now since I'm going soon (hopefully)

 

[atonofdespair24]

Sometimes having the means to end it all helps a lot with anxiety and feelings of failure. Your situation sounded similar to mine, after having my method ready I would have a fun day or interaction with someone and tell myself 'why not try for a little'. I cared less and my mood has improved but I still have bad swings. I mean, it is your last chance. I think when it's really your time to go you won't have these types of questions or doubts, you'll feel certain in ctb.

 

[Samael96]

Sometimes having the means to end it all helps a lot with anxiety and feelings of failure. Your situation sounded similar to mine, after having my method ready I would have a fun day or interaction with someone and tell myself 'why not try for a little'. I cared less and my mood has improved but I still have bad swings. I mean, it is your last chance. I think when it's really your time to go you won't have these types of questions or doubts, you'll feel certain in ctb.

Problem is i am a very calculative person, so every time i want to CTB i plan things so i don't fail, i don't get saved etc etc
My fear of what lies beyond is pretty much centered around the possibility that i don't come back to this world.. i really want to have another life and body in this world and live again since my choice is forced due to an incurable illness

 

[AliceTheGoon]

i really want to have another life and body in this world and live again since my choice is forced due to an incurable illness

I'm in the same boat, forced into this by an incurable degenerative condition. I also believe in cyclical consciousness but it doesn't bring me comfort because I think we start over as a random consciousness anywhere in the universe. And that the downtime is imperceptible so we go directly from our last breath here to pecking out of an egg or blorfing out of a bloop on a planet in the Klapto Quadrant.

 

[Samael96]

I'm in the same boat, forced into this by an incurable degenerative condition. I also believe in cyclical consciousness but it doesn't bring me comfort because I think we start over as a random consciousness anywhere in the universe. And that the downtime is imperceptible so we go directly from our last breath here to pecking out of an egg or blorfing out of a bloop on a planet in the Klapto Quadrant.

Lol yeah i really hope we can decide to come back on this planet and not wander around the universe. I heard many stories of little children saying "i chose you as my mom" so who knows. I actually believe we will have a life between the lives where we will stay for a bit