Story 'Listen to your children', says mother of teen who committed suicide

[Depressed Cat]

An Australian mother says she should have listened harder to her teenaged son who took his own life.

Michael Halfhead from Perth, Western Australia killed himself on Valentine's day last year. He was 17-years old, and the story of his death is rather complicated.

His mother Charmaine feels that she should not have dismissed the text messages he sent her.

"When somebody says they're not doing well, don't ignore it," Charmaine says.

"I thought he was fine. But perhaps he wasn't. I should've just been closer to him. Parents out there need to speak to each other about their kids. If a kid sends you a message telling you they are struggling, it's real."

Mum’s regret after teenager’s death

Michael Halfhead’s story is complicated, his mother Charmaine tells me when we first make contact.

www.news.com.au

 

[Simba]

Good but the karens over in America and Britian think oh no is all to do with forum when in reality the real question is: did they even listened to their kids who were of legal age ? Sorry not trying be rude or anything im just wondering.. and yea if i had a child and they told me that theyre struggling etc id try listen to them n be there for them.. tbh if they decided that the pain is to great for them that they are contemplating suicide and for whatever reason nothing helps solve the issue(s) at hand ,then if thats what they want then I'll respect their wish.. i mean - if there is no way out from your suffering is there really a point in being alive if youre just gonna continue to suffer ? Thats not living anymore ,thats being selfish to the person and letting them suffer plus its inhumane ,too. The law says alot of things - but at the end of the day ,Its what the person feels and what would be best for THEM and not us. Letting a person to continue living when theyve explicitly said and repeatedly that they do not wish to continue and you can't see that is cause you are blinded by your selfishness and wanting to feel good , you'll feel bad doing the "right thing" so you just go in limbo.. and in the end just letting the person die a slow , painful death.. whether it be physically or mentally. Mentally can be just as bad as physically ,even worse at times.

 

[Noctis]

Good but the karens over in America and Britian think oh no is all to do with forum when in reality the real question is: did they even listened to their kids who were of legal age ?

Of course not. Long before this forum existed, when the internet was still in its infancy, dial-up was the only way to go online, and phones could do little more than make calls and play Snake, I said "Sometimes, I wonder if you see me as your son or some money sucking investment," to my parents. Those exact words. They still ring in my head all the time.

Did they listen? Did they try to console me? Did they even try to reassure me that I was indeed loved? Fuck no. They yelled and hit me for daring to disrespect them. They are the exact kind of trash that would blame this forum for suicide, and they absolutely lack the self awareness to even ponder if maybe some of the blame falls to them.

 

[demuic]

If only more people understood this.

Always after a suicide people like to say "they never reached out" "there were no signs" but so many people DO reach out and have their pleas for help, compassion, and understanding ignored or made light of, or worse, belittled and made fun of. That is one way to ensure someone never feels safe opening up to you again, and WILL keep everything to themselves.

People are too quick to write off any struggles that someone of a young age goes through as mere "angst" and then have the audacity to act shocked when something happens. It is not always going to be a matter of life and death, but their concerns should be heard and addressed. Because despite what people say, it doesn't get any easier as you get older, it only get harder, and if someone doesn't feel like they can endure the problems that everyone else brushes off as so trivial, what do you think will happen?

Not listening and not taking people seriously leads to suicide.

 

[tieiwi]

It's really true that some parents ignore the signs. I flat out told mine I wanted to ctb and got told I was throwing a tantrum because I couldn't get what I want. Reading about this boy made me really sad. I know what it's like to act out and try to get your parents attention. It really hurts when they continue to act like nothings wrong. Or they dismiss your problems because it's not problems they have.

 

[Crazy4u]

I read a story about a grieving dad on another website. He said his son was depressed and reached out for help 1 or 2 times. He even spoke to school counselor about suicide. The dad thought the son wanted attention but he was fine! the kid eventually killed himself.

I do feel for some parents but it is hard to believe sometimes. No suicidal person should have to "prove it"!

 

[stevieu]

It seems especially the case when it comes to teenagers. The usual stereotype of the difficult, selfish, attention-seeking teenager.

I was in a similar position when I attempted suicide when I was 18. I felt like I was screaming and literally no one would listen, no matter what I did or said - no one could see the internal agony, only that I was upsetting the status quo and their feelings.

Alas, it often goes back to the perception that: Unless you're actually successful at killing yourself no one takes you seriously enough.

If I could have talked openly, I'm pretty sure things could have turned out differently.

Hindsight is a 'wonderful' thing.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

I think the fact that I listen to my children is one thing that I am proud of being a mother. Just listening, having conversations with my children and them knowing that they have a safe space to talk. I think about it as writing the wrongs of the past....I never had a space so I want my children to have one.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

"When somebody says they're not doing well, don't ignore it," Charmaine says.

Its depressing that this has to be said.

 

[blueclover_.]

I wanna kill everyone. Or maybe just kms. Lmao. What a joke.

 

[Onthe29th]

I don't even talk to my mom about my feelings anymore. I realize now that I'm just gonna get burned if I try. I know my mom actually cares about me but she's gonna be shocked and upset when I ctb.

Though maybe my bf might feel this regret…I never meant to give himsigns but I know that I have. They're very subtle ones though I think but they'll start making more sense when I ctb. I know it's gonna be really hard for him too.

They're all crazy but none of them really get depressed the way I do so I think they'll be ok after some time and self care.