List your reasons to CTB

[Darkover]

enslaved in awful shit
forced to enjoy eating poop and shitting
made to live out my misery
in a shithole and a hellhole
poop health physical and mental
emotional neglect
lack of resources
lack of skills and knowledge
no home no future
facing my certain demise
life is slavery work so hard for so little reward
the universe is shit it's very slow, slow atoms
repressed suppressed oppressed
all my desires wants and dreams are pointless
a shit life no love no care
forced to survive when i wouldn't even want to be alive
life just the worst thing that ever happened
lack of quality humans are crap including thier relationship
life just extremely poor quality

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

My reasons to not live:
1. College is stressful.
2. Work is stressful.
3. I will never be happy living in this city.
4. Moving out requires lots of money and mental preparations.
5. Even if i do move out, there's no guarantee i'll be happier.
6. Earning money is hard.
7. My family expects money from me.
8. Dad beats me sometimes.
9. Aunts and uncles are evil.
10. Mom is sometimes annoying and will never accept me for who i truly am.
11. Making and mantaining friends are hard.
12. Gastroparesis.
13. Etc.

It's midnight now and i'm in so much pain. My parents practically force-feed me and they don't believe that i have gastroparesis. Even eating the smallest portion of food makes me want to vomit, but i hate causing a scene and being blamed for it so i try to keep it down. I just hate my life and i hope i'll carry out this plan.

What are your reasons to CTB?

i have a 1000 reasons. But just to name a few .
1. Don't want to get old.
2. ctb solves all my problems
3. We all will die anyway no matter what happens. So i'm not losing anything imo. What's the difference if i die this week or in 10 years? Nothing just a lot of suffering prevented imo.
4. There is no purpose to life

 

[blueclover_.]

Thank you for sharing your reasons under this thread, reading them makes me feel less alone in this situation. It's been a busy week and SS is the only thing that gives me a little comfort. I actually cried a little. So many people are suffering right now without us knowing, just because two people were feeling lucky some decades ago that all the bad things could never possibly happen to their child. I hope everyone on this forum will find the peace that they are looking for, whatever the path they'll decide.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Failure in education
Uncertain financial situation
Trauma from abuse and bullying
Humans
Society
Life being at its core just pointless and unnecessary suffering, the asimmetry of good and bad, entropy, all the randomness etc.

 

[HappyForever?]

Can't find gf

 

[Crazy4u]

I gave up .. there is no point trying.. I wanted basic/small things in life. Nothing fancy or complicated.
I tried so hard to improve my life. I feel sorry for myself. I feel sorry for all the wasted efforts. I'm getting nowhere and won't achieve any of the basic things I'm trying to achieve. I lost many things and continue to lose more things. It is over. I'm officially done

 

[Soapie]

I think it's just the fact that permanent happiness would take an insanely unrealistic amount of work. There's lots of facets to it like getting a better job, going to college, moving in with my fiance who lives in another country, finishing my gender transition, dealing with Tourette's, etc etc. I try not to be pessimistic but man it's just... So much

 

[1Mazda16]

1) Hatred for the world
2) Autism
3) being bullied
4) being repeatedly disappointed by everyone around me
5) fake people. Everywhere.
6) I'm drifting away from my morals. I don't think I can maintain them for much longer.
7) being treated as a backup/expendable
8) social circle jerks
9) shitty therapists
10) severe anger
11) being ugly

I like #9. And I'll add a #12 selfish people

 

[NasiGoreng]

My anxiety is killing me

 

[meetapple]

1. Lack of success in career
2. Abysmal relationship with society
3. Constant rumination over #2
4. Memories of an unfulfilled childhood
5. Getting old
6. Dealing with Scheuermann's Disease

 

[Pfizerkilledme]

Pfizer vaccine ruined my life.

-chronic tinnitus, never can find silence ever, it's like 24/7 torture, hell in both ears driving me mad. I can't even enjoy the things that used to make me happy and relaxed because of this horrendous screaming and ringing.
-no spouse, lover, children, or intimate emotional connections for support
-family who raised me isn't emotionally there or understanding and never has been
- I'm a young "young adult" who hasn't even finished college yet with a whole life of "work" and "bills" left ahead of me. What's even the point if I get nothing out of it -no happiness, just money and savings that will never love me back and can't take away this screeching...
-life's been hard but I've never given up all hope until now. I used to be able to rely on myself when the world wouldn't take care of me. I could be happy because I could find and make my own happiness. Now, I can't do that anymore with my failing physical health and chronic tinnitus as much as I want to live a happy life in spite of others. COVID spread around and permanently physically damaged me after I got infected. It's unfair but life isn't fair. Why live if I have to live to suffer. I don't owe anyone my suffering just to exist and serve. They can't understand the misery of my every waking moment. I don't want to CTB, I have to CTB because it's cruel to force myself to live my life like this. I want to do the kind thing. A final true act of self love when no one else, not the world, not anyone could love me the way I always wanted, the way I always needed.

Hey there. I also suffer with severe tinnitus It's torture. I'm so sorry... Is yours a 24/7 constant sound(s) that never lets up like mine?

I'm also suffering from high pitch tinnitus, but I got it from the vax. I want to die.

 

[Elri]

My dad's suicide, multiple childhood trauma, anhedonia, nothing makes me happy, so tired and exhausted of having a mask on , not fitting in, no friends since lock down , burden to my mom, this body is foreigner to me

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

-Me being a pathetic, kissless virgin even at 27 is such agony that I just want it to end
-The fact that I need to kill myself for such a dumb reason in the first place
-The many times I sabotaged the opportunities I had that could have prevented me from hitting this point
-The world is increasingly becoming hyper-opinionated and I'm a both-sides kind of idiot. My beliefs will get me killed or at least ostracized anyway no matter who wins.
-To reduce my environmental impact because I don't give a shit about the environment and I need to be stopped.
-The fact that even if I'm alive and happy I would still be around making the world a worse place simply by existing
-I'm pretty sure if I'm allowed to live I WILL try to have children meaning they and potentially their mom will suffer. I'm too weak to stop my urges so better to remove myself from the equation now. I can only hope that the reason I'm so lonely right now is because my children have already interfered with my love life via time travel and have successfully erased themselves from existence. I'm so proud of them.

 

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

-Me being a pathetic, kissless virgin even at 27 is such agony that I just want it to end
-The fact that I need to kill myself for such a dumb reason in the first place
-The many times I sabotaged the opportunities I had that could have prevented me from hitting this point
-The world is increasingly becoming hyper-opinionated and I'm a both-sides kind of idiot. My beliefs will get me killed or at least ostracized anyway no matter who wins.
-To reduce my environmental impact because I don't give a shit about the environment and I need to be stopped.
-The fact that even if I'm alive and happy I would still be around making the world a worse place simply by existing
-I'm pretty sure if I'm allowed to live I WILL try to have children meaning they and potentially their mom will suffer. I'm too weak to stop my urges so better to remove myself from the equation now. I can only hope that the reason I'm so lonely right now is because my children have already interfered with my love life via time travel and have successfully erased themselves from existence. I'm so proud of them.

Legit.