Discussion list of reasons for suicide (list yours)

[Clut]

I'm literally just useless basically I'm past what would be considered my prime and I'm nothing. Past trauma has led me to having fairly frequent dissociation and depersonalisation and derealisation episodes and also panic attacks. Adhd added to this seems to.make me a total mess, I've done therapies etc I'm actually in emdr therapy at the moment but I feel like I'm just wasting everyone's time and I annoy everybody and have used up the time of so many well meaning people, rambling and going around in circles and coming to zero conclusions. I'm tired of me.and so is everyone else. So I'd like to go

 

[Dmoore3232]

i just wanted to say i really understand. even when i have problems with my skin i feel like isolating. this is not a small thing, i understand you. you probably have tried diet stuff and tretinoin already, but if not...

Thanks, yeah certain foods do make it worse. Yes I have tried retin-A before. I have tried nearly hundreds of things I would think. I have found quercetin and hespiridin which are fat soluble to work well. Cholesterol from eggs as well. NAC, theobromine, and niacin are also good.

 

[Daft-Bear]

People will betray you
People will lie to you
People will replace you like you are shit
People will mistreat or disrespect you
People won't appreciate what you do for them
People continue to commit crimes, abuse and horrible creepy things for money and power.
People are little to non empathetic at all
People see initiative and they dont care about it unless its them
People only seek you when they need you and when you need them, they disappear
People just want connections to use you, not to be your friend
People don't allow you to be sad because you need to be happy and positive not to bother them
People are fake and will tell you they care but will be the first ones to be absent when you are in your worst moment.
People don't care about the misery poor situation that children and people live in poorer countries, no one does nothing while millionaires keep accumulating more wealth that they will never get to use
The world is controlled only by a few even health is controlled by pharma. We are not even free. We are slaves of capitalism and slave of buying shit we don't want we don't use just because they make us think otherwise.
People will never be happy with their appearance and they will want you to be miserable along with their insecurities too. They will make you doubt yourself your values your worth, make you insecure about your weight, make you vomit. People will believe abusers most of the time instead of the person who was raped. The person raped most of the time will be judged and questioned by family and police. People live very miserable lives in a bubble filling their days with positive fake statements that things can get better. But things just get worse because you cant fix what is rotten, only destruction does.

Truth

 

[SmoolPepe]

I`ll add one that might be unusual which is: as opposed to hating myself, I love myself.
And just as you wouldn't want to see your loved ones be hurt or in pain or struggle, because you care about them, I equally care about myself and I think it`s for the best to put a stop to this disease that is life and allow myself to be rid of all the suffering it brings. Everyone has a breaking point, plus It only gets worse.
And again, not out of hatred but out of love. I owe it to myself.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

I'll never be mentally well enough to be in a healthy relationship. I'll be alone, forever.

 

[sometimes.sometimes]

I will never be the person I want to be
My life never gives me a break
Once I feel comfortable and safe there is always something to stop it
I have missed so much of my life from things I can't control
Life is harder than it is supposed to be
I hate who I am and no matter how hard I try, I can never change it
My dreams will never come true

 

[bedtimebabe]

Severe chronic illness that leaves me unable to work and participate in the world with no sign of getting better
being a romantic but being too physically and mentally ill to be able to enjoy a relationship with another person or make another person happy
overall hellishness of being alive trapped in my mind in my body in my circumstances and just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up to this again
having missed out on so much due to chronic illness or just not fitting in

 

[yellowtin42]

honestly brain chemistry for me. i think i came out of the womb depressed and nothing has ever really helped. i have friends and family but they constantly let me down and disappoint me. i don't think i was made for this earth.

 

[ItsBadBunnyy]

im damaged goods
no matter how hard I try to provide for myself I'll never be able to
im worthless
im a waste of space
I'll never be anything, I don't deserve love, comfort,
all I do is burden those around me with my sickness and my brain problems and my mental health
my own husband admitted he hoped I did it
this pain I feel everyday inside me is hurting more and more
nothing i do is good enough
I'll never make anyone happy
no one would want to be around someone as damaged, broken , worthless as me. Or who has the health issues I do. Or the fact I repeat myself daily and can't remember things from the day before, or that I try to have the same conversations everyday because I don't remember because of my motorcycle accident.

 

[XdragonsoulX]

Past childhood trauma haunting me, carrying the weight of not really knowing my mother besides broken promises, finding out I've had autism since 12 and just being thrown to the wolves to figure out how to function, my dad not knowing how to even give a shit about me always tells me he misses me when he sees me but doesn't ever reach out, isolated from even the rest of my family and friends including my best friends that I've had for years. Watching the other half of my family die slowly from disease and old age I'm afraid to watch my grandma go I know it's soon they're all gonna die so soon and I'm afraid to see it… not to even mention that I've Been suicidal since 9 everytime I think I'm getting better I feel I jump in a wormhole that takes me right back. Past trauma from ex's, including my most recent ex she was the worst. I'm 27 and just moved in with my partners parents, I had to get rid of my car and my job relies on having a vehicle, I'm afraid I won't be able to hold onto my job much longer than the end of this year. Now I'm just trying to hold on to everything I've got left going for me I'm afraid that I'm gonna lose it all eventually like I've lost everything before, very few things are keeping me here but my partner and cats are the main things, I keep seeing my partner get into deadly wrecks in my head lately and all I can see after is me ctb and I'm terrified of that happening.. I'm just afraid of everything in life and I don't know how much longer I can take this paranoia.

 

[tryingtoescape]

Chronic pain, mental illness

 

[designatednothere]

I don't have any urge to live. Haven't since I was a kid. Granted, I've had depression since I was around 8 so I don't know a life outside of it. I'm 19 now and the future doesn't look appealing to me. I don't feel like being here anymore. I haven't been happy in a really long time.

Also, I have an eating disorder that'll surely kill me before the end of the year if i don't end it on my own. I'm more just waiting to die, really.

 

[InaudibleEcho]

•I can form deep, emotional relationships
•I'm uncomfortable with my body and probably wouldn't be able to afford to/have the chance to transition (I'm ftm)
•there's too much bigotry and hatred
•I can't help but feel like everyone hates me
•I'm curious about what comes after death
•I feel like I belong in a universe that isn't my own
•the only one I actually love and feel loved me doesn't exist in this reality
•I feel like my physical health is poor/declining but I never go to the doctors and I'm afraid it's too expensive
•any form of help (therapy, psyche ward, just venting, hotline) hasn't helped me for the long term

And my reasons to live are:
•fnaf movie
•art fight
•cat game
•restaurant tycoon 2
•if I live to be 17 I'll be able to relate to Seventeen from Heathers

 

[Disappointered]

Was fabricated as a political prop and then left for dead as damaged goods. Was prevented from meeting normal standards by deficient parents and failed at meeting the one imposed by same. Have lived a parody of a beta life with no development of character aside from occasional desperate moves that only delayed the final awareness of my true status and shameful role. Trapped in a small, now degenerating body. Short, therefore disrespected by men and generally despised by women. Repeatedly abused by other males pretending to be friendly but only using me in attempts to make themselves feel superior. Cannot give much, if anything, to the only human I care about and feel I owe anything to.

 

[Robineas]

Lonliness
PSSD

 

[Baron]

Life is meaningless since you die anyway.
I hate myself for not living a healthy / proper life, but at the same time being hesitant to ctb. There's a depiction of life and death being separated by a river. I feel like I am drowning in that river, not being able to reach any side, destined to suffer forever.

 

[collending]

not really seeing the point in life, we do so much like going to school and getting a job and constantly working just to die and have everything turn out to be nothing
happiness is temporary, small ups in eternal suffering and never permanent
never being able to find a romantic partner and have family support and still love me as im gay and come from a religious family
social anxiety and a speech impediment that makes me stutter and mumble a lot which means im rarely listened to and interrupted often
age just comes with more and more problems the further you get in life, dying young when im still healthy seems logical
people in general are not good and there is little you can do to change that
the understanding that there are so many things that could happen that are completely out of my control and so much bigger than me is terrifying
im a terrible person and ill only bring pain to those who somehow loved me

 

[Jolene79]

Severe chronic illness that leaves me unable to work and participate in the world with no sign of getting better
being a romantic but being too physically and mentally ill to be able to enjoy a relationship with another person or make another person happy
overall hellishness of being alive trapped in my mind in my body in my circumstances and just wanting to go to sleep and never wake up to this again
having missed out on so much due to chronic illness or just not fitting in

Can I ask what your condition is btbabe? I hope you aren't too young. It's so cruel and unfair

 

[FrostedHoax]

-I have difficulties forming close, meaningful relationships with anyone. Even with my parents, I can't seem to force myself to have anything more than surface level relationship with them
-I'm pretty sure no one really cares all that much about me except my immediate family
-I can't motivate myself to do things that are actually productive and would bring about concrete, noticeable change to my life
-I'm a complete failure of a son and a person
-Even if I were to suddenly gain some actual friends and a girlfriend, the state of the world and how there's basically nothing I can do to change it disturbs me deeply and makes continuing to live in this world seem pointless no matter how objectively good my life may get

 

[bedtimebabe]

Can I ask what your condition is btbabe? I hope you aren't too young. It's so cruel and unfair

It's as of yet undiagnosed but I think its chronic fatigue syndrome, I basically have no energy most of the time and have to lie down in bed all day. And my body feels weirdly numb too.
Its taken over my life, I'm 28 now.

 

[Borgrot]

• I've lost any concept of who I am
• I ruin the lives of everyone I come into contact with
• I have no capacity to be happy anymore
• It's the only way out of the hell prison I've made for myself

 

[Little One]

I feel like I'm in an endless loop of suffering and everyday is just a repeat of the one before.
I'm a pathetic human being who has lied to many others so I can be closer to them.. I've gotten to the point where I tell people the truth willingly so they leave and I feel even more alone.. I'm disgusting and sell myself for money to get alcohol/weed as it's the only thing that makes me feel somewhat better besides cutting..
No one wants to be my friend, I've only ever gotten used for my body or sexual favors. All I ever wanted was to have a true bond, connection and love with someone.. ever since my ex broke up with me there's nothing keeping me going.. He was all I had... giving me any sort of motivation to continue living.. My Mother hates me and views me as nothing more than a clone of my alcoholic father.. She constantly compares me to this monster who was a pedophile, rapist, drug addict freak who cared more about his porn on the TV then his kids. I don't have a car, or a job, or any way to get me out of this fucking hellhole.. My dreams were taken from me when I was given this disability when I was born, making me unable to do many of the things I always wanted to.. such as simply playing catch. No matter what I do it'll never be enough for anyone. The human race truly is the worst species and is part of why I wanna get out of here so bad.. The health system is corrupted, my mother can't even get surgeries she needs to live a normal life. I've given up on all hopes and goals as the only thing I look forward to is CTB when my time comes. Imagining my soul in a deep abyss of nothing but darkness is all that truly gives me peace.

 

[Jolene79]

It's as of yet undiagnosed but I think its chronic fatigue syndrome, I basically have no energy most of the time and have to lie down in bed all day. And my body feels weirdly numb too.
Its taken over my life, I'm 28 now.

Alot of people with these bizarre symptoms have what I have - Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. You get everything thrown in the mix with that. Something's called POTS and CFS,all that crap. There is no help for most of us

 

[iLikeFrogs]

I am both mentally and physically disabled.
I am a terrible person due to the actions of other people and I can't change it.
After 4 years of therapy, I'm even worse and my therapist officially said she doesn't know how to help me.
I'm tired of fighting.
I'm stuck in an abusive household.
I was sexually abused as a child by other kids and will never get my justice.
I'm stuck with disorders caused by trauma that I probably won't get help for.
Everyone who I cared about is gone now.
I don't have any reason to stay.
I hate my body and my mind.
I'm gonna die either way.
I'm a "high-functioning" autist and cannot unmask and keep hurting myself more bc of that.
I dissociate and maladaptively daydream often enough for it to destroy my life.
I have awful intrusive thoughts.
I am straight-up a loser.
My anxiety keeps me away from making friends and keeping up my current friendships.
I met too many people who just wanted to hurt me.

 

[user933957]

I find nothing worth living anymore, I don't understand why people work so hard to live in a stable home just to end up dying. doesn't make sense and to me, it isn't worth it. I decided just to have Mt death earlier. plus I hate everything and everyone in my life, so many problems every single day and I'm just tired of it, it's not worth living to me anymore.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

- born the wrong sex (male)
- too envious of cis women
- even if i wanted to try and cope as a male, i cant. I am undateable
- as a result of the top three, i find life hopeless for me.

 

[ChronicPain23]

Neurotic personality
Being clumsy, stupid
Depression, anxiety, neurosis, suicidal thoughts
Being shy and quiet
Never having had a girlfriend
Isolation from people
Being ugly
What follows - shame on my parents for having such a fucked up son, they deserve
better

 

[missinginactions]

Trauma from being raped. Trauma from witnessing a family member getting raped. Trauma caused by society when no justice was served. All the men in my life who has exploited my trust and fucked me over. Psychologists denying my requests for help because 'I'm not sick enough'. Capitalism, patriarchy. Laws that bans the only thing that makes me calm during my episodes - cannabis. Police who are taking cannabis cases more seriously than rape cases. I could go on and on, but those are my main reasons at for being so fucking angry and hating everything and everyone. I don't want to live in a society like that…

 

[ncmxm]

I don't want to fucking work all my life
I don't want to get old
I don't want to do chores and tasks until the day I die (cleaning, washing myself, cooking etc)
I don't really like how I look now and it'll be only worse
I'm not very smart and I'm jealous of smart people
I'm tired
Life in general is fucking boring
Like 99% of jobs suck ass
Social anxiety/bad at talking to people

 

[Venus13]

Way too much trauma
Financially drowned
Damaged body/self image hatred
Damaged mind/psychotic/autistic
Chronic physical illness
Dragging your damaged self around others and causing burdens and harm

I'm just a totaled vehicle really. I've been fighting in recovery for 2 years and I've only collapsed under my issues more. Still trying for now but feeling more satisfied that I can soon say I tried and it wasn't possible. I have ideas of what could've been but life doesn't turn around for a lot of people. I've felt that impending doom of the end for a few years now and kept ignoring it. I'm glad I tried though.