Discussion list of reasons for suicide (list yours)

[mojo916]

Thought it was a good idea to make a general thread for the subject.

 

[MrDarkness]

I'm ashamed of my past
My memories haunt me
I can't feel love anymore

 

[kvhenni]

Death is unavoidable. The time, the location and the circumstances of dying are random for most people and the process is usually painful, uncomfortable, terrifying. If you decide to take control of your death and eliminate these uncertainties you can live a much more fulfilling life.
Yes, your plans can be overwritten at any time by an accident, act of crime, illness. But if you don't have to worry about the last chapter spent watching the ceiling in hospice, you can save yourself from a lot of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts
and focus on better things.

 

[Owl_07]

I'm mentally broken and flawed.
I've passed my life unable to make and keep real emotional connections with others.
The love of my life left me and it's all my fault. I've felt so fucking lonely my entire life and i can't escape this fate because of my inner demons. I'll never be able to fix this mess and heal my soul. My life is no longer worth living.

 

[Why Me?]

High-functioning autism
severe social anxiety/panic disorder
generalized anxiety
medical problems
brain fog/cognitive impairment
Narcissistic abuse/PTSD
horrible self care/I feel terrible, I look terrible, my presence is terrible
unlikable weird personality
stuck in a bedroom most of my life
can't work, even if I did, would still be stuck in a nightmare for years
I have lived a nightmare with nothing to show for it, but an worse condition & situation
I got so desperate, I had to receive help from the extremely toxic psycho narcs (mother & sister) who ruined my life in the first place, and of course they damaged me more because they are still devils.
I am surviving to live a nightmare that will only get worse, because I am non functional, can't move or get out of bed.
My Living situation is dark and disgusting and so am I
I am prone to being treated like trash
My luck has been terrible from birth, with an evil psycho mother that made everything worse, went out of her way to destroy me, but has been able to appear as a victim.
A lot could have been prevented if it wasn't for my horrible luck
I am constantly being gaslighted concerning fake solutions so I look like a lazy bum
I now realize how religion/faith in God/motivation/law of attraction made me worse, because it was all fake, this is devastating, years of my life wasted on bad judgement
Most people are evil, fake, and selfish, and even if they aren't, they are only human, how could they understand my weird terrible condition?
I'm 42, I have been thru hellish embarrassment, humiliations, injustice, suffering, terrible circumstances, it's beyond time to kill myself, I should have done this decades ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

When life is not worth to be lived and more. there can be many different personal reason for that. incl. myself.

 

[Daft-Bear]

Nihilism
Isolation/loneliness,
anhedonia/dissociation,
abuse/gas-lighting/emotional manipulation,

Realizing the world takes advantage of the poor so the rich may hedonistically flourish.
Realizing that the life your younger self imagined isn't going to happen

…giving up hope that things can improve

 

[Kerrtu]

I've lived a lot longer than I ever thought I would - 40 year sentence complete.

No desire to go further.

 

[Dmoore3232]

I am male and have trouble with my skin, I wore makeup, and dropped out of high school because of it and put myself in a mental institution because of it
It is from some sort of autoimmune problem.

Because of this I have destroyed relationships, have never had a job during the daylight, I had like 1 for a week, and have not progressed in life like a normal person would.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Narcissistic Mother.
Paedophile Stepfather.
Bullied at work and school.
Clinically depressed since age 6.
Bipolar type 1.
Socially awkward.
Love of my life ran away with my life savings and the guy nextdoor.
Currently homeless.
I'm old and fucked now at 59.
I'm experiencing a severe existential crisis.

Lucky me.

 

[beggarsbelief]

Joy is fleeting and ephemeral.

Pain is powerful and pervades every aspect of my life.

Nothing gives me hope for the future.

I know what I need to do to achieve my dreams but I can't find the will to do them. Everything feels like a chore, things I do that should make me happy instead just feel like dressing a wound.

I have never been more lonely in all of my life, I have no friends and I only ever talk to my family by text. I hardly even talk to my housemates.

I have C-PTSD. I am plagued by nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts and overwhelming fear and sadness. I am an emotional black hole that just drags anyone that tries to help me into my own misery. A single bad dream can ruin my entire week before it even begins.

I have gender dysphoria, I am a stranger inside my own body. People all over the world will hate me for something I never asked for and cannot control. No amount of hormones or surgery can fix my malformed skeleton, even to just remove the thick dark hairs that grow like parasites from my body is an uphill battle. Sex Reassignment Surgery is far too expensive and tedious a process just to get an imitation of something that most women get when they are born.

I have bipolar disorder, sometimes I feel good, even on top of the world, only long enough for it to all come crashing down and for me to be left sweeping up the wreckage of the whirlwind I used to be.

 

[afigurativenumber]

Thought it was a good idea to make a general thread for the subject.

My ideals. I plan to take myself out because I can't stand living in and actively contributing to this capitalist hellhole. I will not become an accessory in misery, in the gain of someone who already has so much.
Right now, though? Nobody loves me. I'm a burden on everyone who meets me, and everyone who does wishes they hadn't. I'm immature, a liar, a manipulator, selfish and self-centered. I can't feel anything anymore except hopelessness.

 

[MiraiShisen]

I am male and have trouble with my skin, I wore makeup, and dropped out of high school because of it and put myself in a mental institution because of it
It is from some sort of autoimmune problem.

Because of this I have destroyed relationships, have never had a job during the daylight, I had like 1 for a week, and have not progressed in life like a normal person would.

I know that you have probably made decision but anyway, skin problems are usually related to the liver, and food and chemicals in it could contribute to the problem. Maybe try silimarin extract or carnivore diet (i know It can be hard but it helped a lot of people ) There are lot of factors which can affect liver, and if your liver do not work properly then skin is usually organ to "help" liver with detox so it look worse or you can have psoriasis etc... take B complex and try some liver supplements at least if you did not :) maybe you will look fine.

 

[lokabe82]

Never being good enough. For anything.

 

[lalaland2345]

High-functioning autism
severe social anxiety/panic disorder
generalized anxiety
medical problems
brain fog/cognitive impairment
Narcissistic abuse/PTSD
horrible self care/I feel terrible, I look terrible, my presence is terrible
unlikable weird personality
stuck in a bedroom most of my life
can't work, even if I did, would still be stuck in a nightmare for years
I have lived a nightmare with nothing to show for it, but an worse condition & situation
I got so desperate, I had to receive help from the extremely toxic psycho narcs (mother & sister) who ruined my life in the first place, and of course they damaged me more because they are still devils.
I am surviving to live a nightmare that will only get worse, because I am non functional, can't move or get out of bed.
My Living situation is dark and disgusting and so am I
I am prone to being treated like trash
My luck has been terrible from birth, with an evil psycho mother that made everything worse, went out of her way to destroy me, but has been able to appear as a victim.
A lot could have been prevented if it wasn't for my horrible luck
I am constantly being gaslighted concerning fake solutions so I look like a lazy bum
I now realize how religion/faith in God/motivation/law of attraction made me worse, because it was all fake, this is devastating, years of my life wasted on bad judgement
Most people are evil, fake, and selfish, and even if they aren't, they are only human, how could they understand my weird terrible condition?
I'm 42, I have been thru hellish embarrassment, humiliations, injustice, suffering, terrible circumstances, it's beyond time to kill myself, I should have done this decades ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Have you tried connecting with people who are in similar situations (online groups and forums such as the one we're on)?? I imagine that being able to talk about these things with people , in more depth, would allow you to work through this pain and the pain you've endured.

I'm so sorry to hear how difficult life has been to you and it's not fair that you've been handed these cards .

I hope you're able to find something worth stinking around for - for YOURSELF and no one else .

I also think you need someone loving and caring in your life . You need support from those around you.

Wishing you luck and sending all my love your way.

 

[Why Me?]

Have you tried connecting with people who are in similar situations (online groups and forums such as the one we're on)??

Thank you, but been there, done that. Other people can only provide so much comfort, and they can only relate so much to me. Not only that, they have the power to cause me more pain, and they usually do. No one will give me what I really need to stick around, even if they can, and they are not obligated to. At this point, I'm clearly stuck in a nightmare. I have to CTB ASAP, and I'm ready. I won't even be able to eat soon anyway. I do not fear death anymore, and its my only real chance to be free from suffering.

 

[yetep30736]

Permanent solution to a permanent problem.

Actually, it's my choice.

 

[Dainhla]

Never been enough.
I'm the cause of every single bad thing that it's happening around me.
I can't socialise well, I'm always self-isolating myself.
I'm an egocentric and selfish bitch that can't do anything right.
I've made people spend a lot of money on me because I'm lying everyone that I'm focus in a future that I already know I will never reach ('cause I'll CTB)

And more, but mainly this things...

 

[delusionalgirl]

Childhood trauma from abuse
Led to multiple mental health issues that have been left unchecked and undiagnosed
Led to early onset dementia
I would have done it without the dementia for more reasons I haven't listed but the dementia is the icing on the cake.

 

[lalaland2345]

Thank you, but been there, done that. Other people can only provide so much comfort, and they can only relate so much to me. Not only that, they have the power to cause me more pain, and they usually do. No one will give me what I really need to stick around, even if they can, and they are not obligated to. At this point, I'm clearly stuck in a nightmare. I have to CTB ASAP, and I'm ready. I won't even be able to eat soon anyway. I do not fear death anymore, and its my only real chance to be free from suffering.

I'm so sorry and while I can't relate to what you've gone through and what you're going through , I can be here for you to talk. I just hate the idea of a clearly smart and kind individual CTB because of things that were out of their control. I hate the fact that you feel you're living in a nightmare and there has to be something we can do- some solution. Where do you currently live ? In the US? Or outside ?

I understand how tricky this situation is , and I can't imagine the toll it's taken on your mental health and I want to help in whatever way I can. Even if it is just talking through potential solutions before you make any permanent decisions. You might as well give it a try :)

 

[FuneralCry]

Because existence is replusive, undesirable and holds unlimited potential to suffer. Only nothingness is acceptable for me, I see so much beauty in permanently ceasing to exist, death comforts me so much as it's finally freedom from this disgusting, hellish world. To me suicide is the best way to die as it's taking control over the inevitable and is freeing ourselves from all future suffering, it disgusts me the thought of decaying from age.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I'm just exhausted.

 

[LittleAngel]

Death is inevitable, I see no reason In trying hard in life for 90 yrs only for it to go to waste when I die. I've had a shitty life and quite literally nobody likes me, my mental health has been making me cut out anyone who cares to talk to me, and I'm stuck in complete isolation and self hatred. College and high expectations are too much for a severely depressed and unmedicated man-child. I'm also very religious and can't wait to see heaven though!

 

[murkylake]

the extent of my mental illness and how it affects my everyday life

 

[Stargazing:<]

Sexual abuse as a child from other children (adults tried but I think my parents stopped them..?)
untreated mental illness for the majority of my life
Unrealistic expectations placed on me by my father to be better that my sisters as I was his only son
Mental abuse from both parents
Having to watch my parents try kill themselves through drug abuse and neglect of their own mental and physical health
Ignorance from almost all of my family despite knowing how my parents are.
All of this combined with my own struggles with body issues, mental illness and abusive relationships has created a toxic cocktail inside my brain that rots me away

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Don't want to deal with life. Tired of everything. I'm actually a horrible person and I just don't want to exist anymore. Don't want to deal with responsibilities. Having a hard time seeing a future for myself.

 

[S u i c i d e]

My friends are dead.
My baby is dead.
I'm just getting hurt.

 

[hellispink]

People will betray you
People will lie to you
People will replace you like you are shit
People will mistreat or disrespect you
People won't appreciate what you do for them
People continue to commit crimes, abuse and horrible creepy things for money and power.
People are little to non empathetic at all
People see initiative and they dont care about it unless its them
People only seek you when they need you and when you need them, they disappear
People just want connections to use you, not to be your friend
People don't allow you to be sad because you need to be happy and positive not to bother them
People are fake and will tell you they care but will be the first ones to be absent when you are in your worst moment.
People don't care about the misery poor situation that children and people live in poorer countries, no one does nothing while millionaires keep accumulating more wealth that they will never get to use
The world is controlled only by a few even health is controlled by pharma. We are not even free. We are slaves of capitalism and slave of buying shit we don't want we don't use just because they make us think otherwise.
People will never be happy with their appearance and they will want you to be miserable along with their insecurities too. They will make you doubt yourself your values your worth, make you insecure about your weight, make you vomit. People will believe abusers most of the time instead of the person who was raped. The person raped most of the time will be judged and questioned by family and police. People live very miserable lives in a bubble filling their days with positive fake statements that things can get better. But things just get worse because you cant fix what is rotten, only destruction does.

 

[mathiessi]

It there hunting me , I'm fighting it since 36 years. Simple plain fact!

Why it is there you will ask? as the time pass i realize that the reason change , depending of my difficulty and when i have no difficulty , i find reason from the action of my peer , like a War , thinking that my money is use by my gov to wage war. What ever it is i seem to always be able to find a very very good reason to CTB but as i say , i'm still here fighting until when ? i do not know

 

[gehlertjohansson@gm]

I am male and have trouble with my skin, I wore makeup, and dropped out of high school because of it and put myself in a mental institution because of it
It is from some sort of autoimmune problem.

Because of this I have destroyed relationships, have never had a job during the daylight, I had like 1 for a week, and have not progressed in life like a normal person would.

i just wanted to say i really understand. even when i have problems with my skin i feel like isolating. this is not a small thing, i understand you. you probably have tried diet stuff and tretinoin already, but if not...