Life

[anony123]

Literally my pain is almost too hard to bare. I have so many regrets in my life and a year ago I did something which I almost can't believe I did. I feel as if I gave my life away to please another person or to save them from their own sin. I'm now depersonalised and I'm not able to live in reality. Can't speak to my friends can't have a social life, can't really leave the house.

I don't want this to be true but it's too late to take back what I've done. And I'm trapped here for the rest of my life.

I can't explain my pain of how much I don't want this to be true and for anyone reading this. I failed a spiritual awakening/enlightenment for insanity. I don't want this to be true.

Everyday I wake up hating life like literally wishing I was dead and I'm so ashamed of myself. Ashamed to tell my friends

 

[waitingforrest]

I don't know the exact specifics of your circumstances so please correct me if I make assumptions. Regret is a horrible feeling, the past often haunts people in the present. I have had my fair share of regrets, some that I still feel guilt over, some that I will take to my grave.
The pain of life is often hard to discuss to people in the real world. Somehow, the people in my life can't quite understand why I want death. I hope you find some people that you can open up to on here. Anyways, welcome to the forum.

 

[Sides]

I know exactly what you mean. In my case, I can't turn back the clock on medical issues and change the choices I have already made, so I truly am trapped in a non-functioning body until I turn the key in the door to let my soul (but never my body) fly away free.

In your case, I don't know the specifics of your situation. If you wish to share more, that is completely up to you. But I respect your rights to privacy.

If you wish to message, I am willing to listen and talk with an open heart and mind. But that choice is only up to you. I offer. You can accept if you wish. Or not. Totally up to you, no pressure. I respect all choices.

Right now, I can still turn the key in the door and free my soul, leaving my body behind. I wish to do this before I lose that ability. Then I would truly be trapped here and lose everything.

In your case, only you know if such a key, lock, and door exist. Do they? If they do, I urge you to turn them now, while you still can, and save your body and soul.

But that is your choice. If you can't, or if they do not exist, then you truly are trapped. But I hope for your sake you can still avoid that, while you have the time.

Are you truly trapped? Or can you still turn the key in the lock, however painful that may be? Only you can decide that for sure.

"I have heard the key
Turn in the door once and turn once only
We think of the key, each in his prison
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison"
― T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

"Well it seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Well it seems like I've been sleeping in your bed too long
And it seems like you've been planning to do me wrong
But evil concentrated must be disintegrated
So I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

Well it seems like I have played the game your way too long
And it seems the game I've played has made you strong
But when this game is over, I won't end up the loser
And I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh ooh ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

It seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped..."

Jimmy Cliff/Bruce Springsteen

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I know what its like. Spirituality gave me psychosis. I have literally gone insane and now I'm back to myself. Its horrible how i have behaved among friends

 

[FuneralCry]

It can be dreadful to live a painful existence. Life itself is the problem as it is the cause of all suffering. I see it as better to never exist in the first place. I'm sorry that things are so hopeless, being trapped can be one of the worst feelings. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

 

[anony123]

I don't know the exact specifics of your circumstances so please correct me if I make assumptions. Regret is a horrible feeling, the past often haunts people in the present. I have had my fair share of regrets, some that I still feel guilt over, some that I will take to my grave.
The pain of life is often hard to discuss to people in the real world. Somehow, the people in my life can't quite understand why I want death. I hope you find some people that you can open up to on here. Anyways, welcome to the forum.

Thank you. I really appreciate your response. Literally I feel alone in my pain. So thank you for replying. I just feel so ashamed. And I haven't really got any justification ..

I know exactly what you mean. In my case, I can't turn back the clock on medical issues and change the choices I have already made, so I truly am trapped in a non-functioning body until I turn the key in the door to let my soul (but never my body) fly away free.

In your case, I don't know the specifics of your situation. If you wish to share more, that is completely up to you. But I respect your rights to privacy.

If you wish to message, I am willing to listen and talk with an open heart and mind. But that choice is only up to you. I offer. You can accept if you wish. Or not. Totally up to you, no pressure. I respect all choices.

Right now, I can still turn the key in the door and free my soul, leaving my body behind. I wish to do this before I lose that ability. Then I would truly be trapped here and lose everything.

In your case, only you know if such a key, lock, and door exist. Do they? If they do, I urge you to turn them now, while you still can, and save your body and soul.

But that is your choice. If you can't, or if they do not exist, then you truly are trapped. But I hope for your sake you can still avoid that, while you have the time.

Are you truly trapped? Or can you still turn the key in the lock, however painful that may be? Only you can decide that for sure.

"I have heard the key
Turn in the door once and turn once only
We think of the key, each in his prison
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison"
― T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

"Well it seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Well it seems like I've been sleeping in your bed too long
And it seems like you've been planning to do me wrong
But evil concentrated must be disintegrated
So I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

Well it seems like I have played the game your way too long
And it seems the game I've played has made you strong
But when this game is over, I won't end up the loser
And I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh ooh ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

It seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped..."

Jimmy Cliff/Bruce Springsteen

Hey thank you.

I know exactly what you mean. In my case, I can't turn back the clock on medical issues and change the choices I have already made, so I truly am trapped in a non-functioning body until I turn the key in the door to let my soul (but never my body) fly away free.

In your case, I don't know the specifics of your situation. If you wish to share more, that is completely up to you. But I respect your rights to privacy.

If you wish to message, I am willing to listen and talk with an open heart and mind. But that choice is only up to you. I offer. You can accept if you wish. Or not. Totally up to you, no pressure. I respect all choices.

Right now, I can still turn the key in the door and free my soul, leaving my body behind. I wish to do this before I lose that ability. Then I would truly be trapped here and lose everything.

In your case, only you know if such a key, lock, and door exist. Do they? If they do, I urge you to turn them now, while you still can, and save your body and soul.

But that is your choice. If you can't, or if they do not exist, then you truly are trapped. But I hope for your sake you can still avoid that, while you have the time.

Are you truly trapped? Or can you still turn the key in the lock, however painful that may be? Only you can decide that for sure.

"I have heard the key
Turn in the door once and turn once only
We think of the key, each in his prison
Thinking of the key, each confirms a prison"
― T.S. Eliot, The Waste Land

"Well it seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Well it seems like I've been sleeping in your bed too long
And it seems like you've been planning to do me wrong
But evil concentrated must be disintegrated
So I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

Well it seems like I have played the game your way too long
And it seems the game I've played has made you strong
But when this game is over, I won't end up the loser
And I know that I'll be walking out again
Yes I know that I'll be walking out again

Ooh ooh ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah

It seems like I've fallen in your trap again
And it seems like I'll be wearing the same old pain
But good must conquer evil and truth will set me free
So you see that somewhere I have found the key
Yes you see that somewhere I have found the key

Ooh
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah
Trapped, ooh yeah yeah yeah
Trapped..."

Jimmy Cliff/Bruce Springsteen

Hi thank you. It's probably too much to put it all on here. It's more about what my life is like now. Literally I've destroyed myself completely. As in my subtle bodies. So I don't know where I am, I don't know who I am. I can't see anything and I'm not in reality. Literally I'm living and breathing but there's nothing left of me. I'm so afraid to die literally. I'm terrified. I have so many friends and family. But I want this to end
I'm afraid to die but I want things to be different in my life and they never will be

 

[Sides]

Thank you. I really appreciate your response. Literally I feel alone in my pain. So thank you for replying. I just feel so ashamed. And I haven't really got any justification ..

Hey thank you.

Hi thank you. It's probably too much to put it all on here. It's more about what my life is like now. Literally I've destroyed myself completely. As in my subtle bodies. So I don't know where I am, I don't know who I am. I can't see anything and I'm not in reality. Literally I'm living and breathing but there's nothing left of me. I'm so afraid to die literally. I'm terrified. I have so many friends and family. But I want this to end
I'm afraid to die but I want things to be different in my life and they never will be

Remember what I said about keys and locks and doors.

Can you still change? If so, why not? If not, why, because it sounds like you have nothing to lose.

If thing are as bad as you say, why by afraid to die? Maybe it will be better. Maybe it will be nothing. But at least hopefully it will be over, as long as you get it right.

I'm not judging you, truly I'm not. If you say this is your reality, then I believe that you truly believe that.

But maybe try questioning your beliefs a little, just to make sure. Because you are important, and because you matter.

Can you change things for the better?

If not, can you end it all so that things will be better?

Right now, you truly believe you are behind the prison door, and the door is locked. Maybe you are right.

But maybe, just maybe, you have had the key the whole time, and you just didn't know it, or believe it.

Find out for sure. Find that key that fits the lock and opens the door. Either in or out, whichever is better is up to you.

But please don't stay in the cell, in between, suffering needlessly, if maybe you don't have to.

Find the key, and either get in the game, or put your suffering to a merciful end. Whichever is better is up to you.

Again, not judging. But I hate to hear of you suffering when maybe you can end the suffering, one way or the other.

Love and blessings to you, and I hope you find that key.