Stuck In the middle zone

[logicspeakz]

Hey everyone, it's my first time posting on here, after having an account and lurking for a while.

I've started to see no point in continuing my life and I only anticipate more pain and disaster. I'm a fuck up degenerate, indulging constantly in near term pleasure with zero long term ambition. But I also can't muster any courage/will to CTB. I'm stuck in this middle zone with too many thoughts of guilt, shame, and self-pity. Anyone else in the same spot? How does this usually pan out?

 

[secretghost]

You can live there as long as you have to before things change. Rock bottom isn't going anywhere and if it gets worse, it wasn't rock bottom. When I was in that stage, I gave myself some months of (albeit temporary but very real) joy and pleasure and sense of positive embodiment by kind of having 'yes day' every day with myself. It was that and/or CTB, so why not? I got many tattoos and ate only what I wanted and everything I wanted and I threw out a lot of social rules for a while. It wasn't totally functional but it's something to do while I was spinning my wheels. I sincerely hope it gets better but either way, wishing you the very best. Be kind to yourself nothing in life lasts forever even this

 

[kunikuzushi]

I am in the exact same spot. I live every day indulging in short term pleasures that do not help my future. I've been doing this for almost 7 years and it just keeps getting worse and worse. There's no way it will get better because I don't have the energy to improve anything in my life. I know there will just be more pain. But I'm still too scared to ctb mostly because I don't want to hurt the few people that will be negatively affected by it. But yeah, same spot as you.