bpdiskillingme
Member
- Oct 25, 2023
- 17
I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I am struggling so much, my thoughts are so dark and it is so hard to carry in pretending to happy, a good friend and a good partner. I feel guilty every waking thought I have is filled with hatered and violence and it's been like this since I was little. It's so hard to work a full time job where I'm out the house 12 hours a day 5 days a week. My mind is plagued with suicide I don't know what to do, I've fallen back into harming myself after being clean for nearly two years everything just sucks. I feel selfish whenever my friends vent about me with their issues I cannot help it but I genuinely cannot understand their struggles I feel frustrated whenever they vent about issues that realistically do not seem as bad, I need to change and I don't know how to. The thought of CTB is higher than ever I just want to be at peace.